Angry Blog

I interrupt your Thursday evening for an out of cycle blog that is nothing more than a rant but hey....

While laying on the couch trying to feel better after possibly something bad I ate, I saw on the celeb news alert that Serena Williams recently became engaged

and as soon as I saw the picture of her fiance I knew the hate and remarks and unsolicited comments that would soon follow

just the top few were:

1) she never liked brothas anyway-MYTH
She dated Drake and Common for a very long time-FACT

2) white men get all the sistas-MYTH
Some black women do date outside the black race, but so do black men-FACT

3)He won't know how to handle that/what to do with that-MYTH
How offensive is it to imply that a black women is some type of animal that must be tamed or broken-FACT
Clearly she is content in her relationship to accept his proposal-FACT

There seems to still be some gross inaccuracies when it comes to interracial dating and more specifically when it involves a black woman and any man not of African American decent.

Enough is enough

while there are outliers of people who specifically only date certain races and are very clear about their intentions, there are also people who are very deliberate about only dating within their own race

for some people it is a preference, for others it is who stirs and captures their heart

but from a 10,000 foot view you can't always see the difference

i dont have a preference, i don't say "I ONLY date____" Love does not and should not work that way

and people who are trying to create blended babies or crafting their offspring have it all wrong

BUT back to the subject at hand

While I have been in both interracial and non interracial relationships..i do not allow that to define me

i am not a "swirler" i just happen to be in a IR relationship

my relationship does not make me any more or any less black

and i think other women in my similar dynamic feel the same way

i do think there is an irony that many black women in an IR tend to be women who are more comfortable in their skin, I see many with naturals and locs and who are truly comfortable in their skin

whereas the majority of women with the long weaves and light contacts are not the ones in a mixed coupledom

There is no winning and losing when someone dates outside of their race, the winner in all of it is love, and showing that love CONQUERS all

But instead we choose to pick apart and find flaws and project our hate and ignorance and use history as a reason to predict the future

I think at the end of the day and the biggest element in all the hate that people are spewing is that there is an element of MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

there is an element of people trolling on social media who feel they are entitled to share their opinion or that everyone should feel and think and act like them

People need to focus on their own house and their own relationships and not be concerned with others

ok that was a very unorganized rant and i apologize for that BUT this topic hits home for me

and i'm off my soapbox

Christmas Reflections

I have had a day to soak it all in

I have had a day to think about it all, to replay each moment, every laugh, every squabble

AND not to mention today was my travel day

which let me take a quick detour and say as much as i HATE getting up early

leaving to get on the road by 5am was a VERY smart move

I avoided all traffic and congestion and got home with plenty of time to unwind and possibly take a nap

Christmas 2016.....it was wonderful, it was exciting, it was different

there were familiar faces present

and faces absent

the older i get the more i look at December 25th through different eyes

As a Christian I understand the true reason we celebrate 12/25 and each year it becomes more and more special

In awe at the depth of love and sacrifice that my God has for me and made for me

From a human perspective, a Holmes perspective

I always go into the Christmas holiday just excited to be around my family and have some good eats and adult libations

I love the lights, I love the decorations, I love Piedmont traditions

Josh gets on my nerves, but then he's also the best

Mom made apple pie cheesecake and she and Jord made oreo-cookie-brownies

There was rum punch and Mullings Spice Cider and one night of Jack Daniels Honey

The red sheets were a toasty and the tree was a twinkling

the best part of it all was the love under the roof and the love in our hearts for those not there

As a Mother now, Christmas is now about carrying on traditions and sharing traditions with my daughter and seeing the look of excitement on her face as the music plays and the air is filled with love, laughter, and joy

So I guess I wrap up this blog by saying thank you to my parents for always making Christmas and holidays magical and for sharing it with not just me but Jord

We are a family that argues in one breath and loves hard and laughs heartily in another

But I would not change a moment of any of it

so Happy Holidays to all and to all a Happy New Year

Pink Eye Monday

This blog is brought to you by my sponsor Jordan, the keeper of the cough, the owner of germs
and the current recipient of the Pink Eye Monday award

Today started off as a regular day, a Monday guaranteed to be full of pre-holiday shenanigans and terrific tomfoolery... afterall my boss is out until after the New Year and that leaves me with time to focus on galavanting in the halls with this brunette i know

HOWEVER

after waking up and spending extra time getting ready (like I shaved my legs) I went to awake the mini
I picked her up and looked at that sweet face only to discover every parents germy nightmare...eye crusties and not just the regular wipe them off and keep going, the kind that makes you stop in your tracks
and realize you are not going to work that day

So after making the necessary calls  for her and me

we retreated to the couch for some respite

THEN responsibility set in and we went to see the doc

so Jord has the start of conjunctivitis...maybe viral..maybe bacterial....so she has meds now and the doc also found a small bead or object in her ear...

a bead or object that does not belong in her ear

SIGH...

Now we are back on the couch, trying to keep princess quarantine on her side

But hey..just two more days of work and then next stop... HOME

Which let me fully disclose here that I, April Janelle, lover of all things Christmas and Christmasy have NOT begun shopping

I wonder if this is how Josh feels EVERY year (snicker snicker)

I think I will begin this weekend lol before Sunday

Now back to watching Santa Claws with sicky poo

it has some weird kittens that talk and for Kellee who HATES cats

Im just imagining how her face would frown at this movie (lol) that makes me laugh a lot

Sometimes you just want that old thing back..

I am officially T minus 2 days before a certain someone gets to town... Now before anyone starts breaking out their abacus or counting on a calendar or fingers to identify how they think I may have miscounted...let me explain to you MY math

Tomorrow is Wednesday and then it's THURSDAY and Friday is the day HE arrives so clearly that day does not get counted because essentially that is like Christmas...For those not comfortable with that reference, it's like 4th of July and just because the fireworks don't begin until it's dark doesn't make the excitement any more subdued during the day

While there are moments of sheer excitement and anticipation there is also a relative calm within me

Many of those who have been on the journey of my heart with me for the past 1 year or so are RATHER excited and continue to ask me... ARE YOU READY FOR FRIDAY?  IT'S ALMOST THE 9th!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR? WHERE WILL JORDAN BE? etc etc

I think the support team doesn't quite realize that while yes Friday holds a degree of HURRY UP AND GET HERE and IS IT HERE YET...the feeling can best be described as how I feel when I am preparing for a trip to Detroit, going home..

I am always excited to get home, sleep in MY bed, be in MY city, eat familiar food, be around familiar faces, but there is comfort in going home

Going home for me is parallel to that familiar sweatshirt, that favorite pair of flannel pants

SO Friday, December 9th, while I am SUPER excited to "be home" --there also is not the pressure to change my hair, get a new outfit or make changes or do things that one might do on a first date

PLEASE DO NOT READ THAT I WILL BE A SLOUCH OR LETTING MYSELF GO

But I do not feel anxious or overly worried about the outcome

Friday will come and from the moment I see all 6'6 of Mr. S walking my way, and the moment his eyes meet mine and they light up and twinkle with excitement (because YES when he sees me he lights up and his eyes twinkle) I will meet his smile and find myself in his arms and 2014 will replay and 2003 will play and we will be back to that oldie but goodie

I will sigh in relief that I can be me
I will smile knowing he knows all the good and the bad and the in between.....and for once in my life

I think i finally get the value in that
I value having families that are supportive and warm
KSN and I laugh often because I continue to find myself in relationships where the families are SUCH a bonus and with Mr. S it is NO different and I know he feels the same way about "Mother" and "Grampy"

There is a sense of two puzzle pieces that just fit

No jiggering and flipping pieces around...just a connection...an easy one...

laughter comes so easily

serious moments are shared

trust is built

love is reinforced

and that is why Friday after a year and some change (Mr. S can tell you the exact number of days and hours)
I am circling back to that constant theme

I am adding 2016 to the trilogy...the 3rd and final installment of Mr. S and Ms. April Holmes..

So stay tuned...because this is where the story gets good..this is where the story truly begins...and while some say in life there are no fairytales and while that may be true....in life there are some epic love stories and I think I can say mine has been in the works and the author has taken His time and included so many details

so many details that are OURS
and that is what going forth we will build upon ...hand in hand..heart in heart..trust in God...and a lot of prayers and support from those who know us and those who love us

xoxoxoxo

For the LOVE .....of......

After spending a wonderful turkey day in Detroit, I made the attempt to head back to Virginia earlier than normal, BUT those attempts were foiled and failed

The last two hours of the drive were filled with projectile vomit and excess traffic...

arghhh....

by the time I reached Ashburn, my spirit was a little downtrodden and I could not wait to exit the vehicle

I placed an emergency call to my CPP and uttered the words "Bring the disaster towels"...

as i pulled on Litchfield, he approached the car and the vomit ball in the back and the situation was neutralized

to think Grampy had just cleaned out that seat earlier that day-HA

but we had a wonderful holiday so many thoughts, so many emotions

the joy and thanksgiving of being with family

turkey day jord-josh-ray and i went to the game and that was definitely a good time

it was a new adventure and the company was just good and honestly just watching josh & jord brings

such happiness to my heart...Kellee has always been their #1 fan but now after really paying attention to them.... i too am on board

they laugh, they argue, they hug, they smile, he teaches, she learns, they are so much alike, its incredible

Jord and Gigi are a whole other dynamic....the adoration and excitement and as Uncle Corey described the pom-pom sweat factory-Jord looks forward to and thrives on Gigi's craftiness and creativity and it feeds her and then she returns to the Terrace expecting the same -(ha that is always a slight let down-but im working on it)

Grampy and Jord--all i can say is when she came up from the basement with Grampy's drill..... speechless!!!

My trip culminated with a very quick ..twitter like visit with the bestie...we laughed because now that we are Moms of littles..our conversation style has changed SO drastically..long gone are the days of long uninterrupted conversations...i'm sure if we had the Gigi's watch the girls we could have that but generally we get the majority of our talking done via text or email

and i think we are both comfortable and ok and operating in grace of where we are and the strength of our relationship....I am soooo THANKFUL for you KSN :)

My holiday was extra special because of a reunion the week before, an unplanned, yet ever so easy return and re-opening of a door that was not fully closed, but more left ajar
so my holiday had a little aspect of 3 times is the charm

I used to prescribe to the once a door is closed , do not re-open, do not rehash, but there is ONE individual who has defied my rule and made me eat my words

This guy and I have history and lately i've realized history, especially when the history is SO GOOD, is not something to take lightly

My Dad is quick to share wisdom and yes 85.5% of the time I listen, but this weekend we talked more and we talked about THIS GUY and my Dad gave me a lot to think about

I came to some conclusions.....a few are...

Love is not necessarily easy

Love WILL and DOES fight and if it doesn't maybe its not LOVE

LOVE does not give up

LOVE is not a dime a dozen

LOVE is forgiving ..and accepting

LOVE is soooo very powerful

*Love-y is currently putting bandaids on her hand on my floor, I'm counting 4 empty wrappers

LOVE is everything

and I am thankful for that kind of LOVE

so today's blog is all about the LOVE ..of...

FAMILY
FORGIVENESS
FUN
FOOD
FUTURE

Momentary Lapse of Good Judgment ...

I like my sleep
everyone who knows me knows that


I love a good nap


I took full advantage of having a child and taking naps when she napped
I love that even now at 5 she still can be forced and coerced into a nap


although let me caveat and say someone else who loves a good nap and can do it anytime and anywhere at the expense of those around him ......JOSHUA***


so last night for a moment, well several and then several more I somehow lost my mind and stayed up far past my regular bedtime (which per my Mom is early) but then it became normal adult late and then it became I don't have a job late




and here is what I learned...


when you are under 30 the concept of sleep is DIFFERENT and more FLUID and CONCEPTUALIZED


when you are an auntie or uncle with no kids...the same fact applies


There is something about becoming a parent or OVER 30 that makes sleep a coveted thing like the Willy Wonka Golden Ticket


Admittedly- I brought the staying up late for the sake of laughter and love on my own self


There was no bribery, no twisting of the arm, not even any negotiations


and yet at 130am when even me and my fuzzy math could calculate 3.5 hours of sleep


I kept smiling , I kept laughing..I kept talking...


but now......


Im sleepy


I am going to drive home with no heat on in my car..


I am leaving work at 4


I am getting in bed with Jordan tonight..no judgment


My body aches


I won't ever do this again....














well just not tonight :)

beef & broccoli

let me tell you how the perfect pre-Friday is going
*taxpayers be warned, I am currently modeling the picture of inefficiency BUT this time its not deliberate


I have been having issues with my work computers ever since I changed my name..and for over 5 weeks things have worked intermittently ..and finally they realized why


so IT is syncing my accounts which has rendered me useless


I CANNOT log in!!!


So how perfect is it that I have a free day to smoke and joke justifiably


I honestly felt bad around 1130 and went down to the IT office to check on the status of things JUST IN CASE


and guess what it's not ready sooo....


I guess I stay surfing the net and see what it looks like at the end of the internet


just kidding I have Kellee to keep me entertained


I must admit I may have to leave work early..its one thing to come in and slack off but have to refocus every once in awhile but


I am limited right now to just sitting here


and now I may be bored


hmmm ok












I just saw the news and my boss -DNI Clapper is resigning ...


guess he didn't vote for Trump either


I wonder who the new Director will be and will I still get 3 hour early releases on the day before the holiday


It would be a shame if we did not


ok this was a crappy 3 days Post Monday blog


hehehehe

And this too shall pass...but until it does

One of my smartest and highly treasured and loved counselors shared this with me today... It was so profound and fits into today's narrative that I am sharing it..and encourage you to share it as well..




Ali Michael, Ph.D. Teacher educator, consultant, writer, filmmaker


What should I say to my students after the election if Trump wins?” a principal asked me recently. Good question. What should we tell our children?
Tell them, first, that we will protect them. Tell them that we have democratic processes in the U.S. that make it impossible for one mean person to do too much damage. Tell them that we will protect those democratic processes ― and we will use them ― so that Trump is unable to act on many of the false promises he made during his campaign.
Tell them, second, that you will honor the outcome of the election, but that you will fight bigotry. Tell them bigotry is not a democratic value, and that it will not be tolerated at your school. Tell them you stand by your Muslim families. Your same-sex parent families. Your gay students. Your Black families. Your female students. Your Mexican families. Your disabled students. Your immigrant families. Your trans students. Your Native students. Tell them you won’t let anyone hurt them or deport them or threaten them without having to contend with you first. Say that you will stand united as a school community, and that you will protect one another. Say that silence is dangerous, and teach them how to speak up when something is wrong. Then teach them how to speak up, how to love one another, how to understand each other, how to solve conflicts, how to live with diverse and sometimes conflicting ideologies, and give them the skills to enter a world that doesn’t know how to do this.

Tell them bigotry is not a democratic value, and that it will not be tolerated at your school.

Teach them, third, how to be responsible members of a civic society. Teach them how to engage in discussion—not for the sake of winning, but for the sake of understanding and being understood. Students need to learn how to check facts, to weigh news sources, to question taken-for-granted assumptions, to see their own biases, to take feedback, to challenge one another. We need to teach students how to disagree—with love and respect. These skills will be priceless in the coming months and years as we work to build a democratic society that protects the rights of all people ― regardless of the cooperation or resistance those efforts face from the executive branch.

Say that silence is dangerous, and teach them how to speak up when something is wrong.

Finally, remind them ― to ease their minds ― that not everyone who voted for Donald Trump did so because they believe the bigoted things that he has said this year. Many of them voted for him because they feel frustrated with the economy, they feel socially left behind, and they are exercising the one power they have. We need to challenge Trump and his supporters to differentiate between their fears and the bigotry catalyzed by those fears.
In the aftermath of this traumatic election, I hesitate to even exercise my voice in this way. In the past year, I received hate mail and a death threat from white supremacists for blog posts like this ― blog posts that are, let’s be honest, fairly insignificant expressions of personal opinion from a person with very little power. I am not a threat. And yet people have threatened me ― and my family ― for expressing my view that we should build a world in which all human beings can live freely in the wholeness of their identities. I fear that this kind of intimidation will only increase in the event of a Trump victory. I fear that it will worsen tomorrow ― as soon as I hit send ― if Trump supporters are emboldened in their aggression towards people with whom they disagree. And yet the only thing that makes me feel safe in this moment ― as I stare into the face of a possible of a Trump victory ― is to speak up and speak out, and to invite others to do the same.

what happens tomorrow...

So today is the BIG election


there has been so much hoopla


there has been hate


there has been unity


now we are in the countdown


the homestretch


the last hours until the decision is made


there has been indescribable build up


but my thought today is


what happens tomorrow


this 2016 election has been one unlike any others


this campaigning has changed for the worst the way politics is viewed


it has changed the way Americans feel


this election has brought out the good


but more of the bad


America was struggling before the election


This great country has a history built on division and hate and separatism


for years some Americans have tried to grow, some have tried to heal


others have turned the blind eye


others have quieted their hate


this election ripped the bandaid back off


this election put the conversation back into the current initiative


and so I wonder tomorrow after the new President is elected

then what...


some will cry foul


many will grumble and everyone will have an opinion


but then what


will America be great again


what does that look like


does "great" mean a place where all are welcome and all are embraced


does "great" mean the division between the various classes becomes more evident


does "great" mean having a leader who is compassionate to the people


does "great" mean a leader who runs the country like a business , devoid of emotion and empathy


I don't have the answer to any of that


but I do know


tomorrow will come


tomorrow either another Clinton or a Trump will be elected


life will go on


changes will be made


and the one good thing to come out of tomorrow is that...


campaigning will end


and the next narrative will begin

Not sure what to write about today


but I am here at work super duper early and I have a window of time where there is NO ONE here and I can listen to the quiet hum of the ventilation and write


I could discuss how dating in 2016 really is for the birds


I could whine about how dating used to be so easy for me and now its best described as "challenging"


One in my position might express dissatisfaction in being seemingly sidelined for awhile in the relationship game


Outside looking in I get remarks like "Any guy would be lucky to have you" or "You can get any guy" or *my favorite most inaccurate line* "if I looked like you-I would have a long line of guys"


Or I get the advice when you don't look, you will find..


Can I just say...I do NOT like getting relationship advice from people in relationships or married people,


it's like someone who is sitting at a table with a fat steak telling someone who is hungry don't worry they will eat eventually and it will be good


BUT at the same time you don't want to pal around with a bunch of other single folks who are b*tching and moaning


where is the balance!!!!


arghh!!!!!!!


Ok moving on, it's Monday, its Halloween, I was the official fun police parent an got pretzels to hand out instead of candy because well, I think deep down I am rallying for those parents whose kids have had a cavity or the parent who looks at the bucket of refined artificial sugars and inwardly cringes !!!


I got into the office at 5:08am (woooo let's never do this again) although I did get some decent sleep last night so my coffee won't be SUPER grande when Dunkin opens up .....
BUT... that early arrival means early DEPARTURE and back home to "the Ladies"


My Mom is still here and as always the trip is never long enough and I am already dreading tomorrow when she has to return...and worse than me will be Jord..arghhhh


At least she's not leaving on a Monday-that would certainly make for a LONG week!!!


Soooo that's all I got for a blog ...

Mommy Daughter Duo

I asked my sidekick what I should write about and she said write about her and I

So hmmm me and Jord

As I sit here and watch her eat soul rolls from Urban BBQ and watch Bubble Guppies Halloween special with her hair down i cant help but think how much I love this little character

and when I look at her in astonishment that she is mine (well Gods-but I get to be her Mom) and I am HER Mom i feel so grateful

Everyday is an adventure with her, some days are filled with laughter and absolute joy

and  being honest some days are frustrating and maybe some tears and raised voices

but on today, a monday the start to my week, im looking at my beautiful daughter and i think i am SUPER proud of our dynamic duo


I love our bond, I love our relationship, I love our fun, I love our affection, I love our discussions, and all the moments in between

I learned how to be a Mom not because it was innate but because I had such an amazing example

while i think the teenage years I may have tested my Moms love and prayer life but i think about the bigger picture stuff (lets disregard those years of opposition)

i think about my Moms creativity that she now shares with my me

My mom made everything special from our allowance envelopes with the balloons and fancy writing on it to adventures that she took us on

No matter the situation, if my Mom was behind it, there was always a touch of special and a whole lot of love involved

I thank you Mom for being my Mom and for being Jordan's Gigi

i see a lot of your creativity and love in her and I love how she would im sure say that you guys are a dynamic duo too

i cannot thank you enough

i cannot tell you how my heart swells at the thought of how much you love me and have sacrificed for me

not to take away from Dads but there is a undeniable bond after you carry a child in your tummy for 9 months.....

so to the ORIGINAL dynamic Duo --My MOM and I!! Happy Monday Mom!!!

Don't forget to laugh

So I had a blog topic and title all squared away this morning ..the one in which I am using however
became more appropriate after my 1pm meeting


I was attempting to convey to my team (to include my boss) that I was not a tree hugger BUT what came out of my mouth was, " I am not a tree humper" ... and the jokes began


BUT this morning when I thought about life and I thought about a conversation I was having over the weekend and just how entertaining it was...
the conversation made me realize how in life it is so easy to get so focused and serious


but its so good to just stop and laugh
this weekend I laughed so heartily


I laughed at shenanigans
I laughed at quick wit and banter


I laughed at jokes


I thought to myself besides with Jord when was the last time I laughed so much


There are certain people (JGH) who can certainly provide a higher level of ignorance and laughter


and of course (ksn) too can bring an indescribable level of laughter with her dry sarcastic humor and what we will just call "honest observations"


this laughter thing..I need to do it more..I need to allow those deep from the gut laughs
the kind where a tear comes to your eyes


yup


so I am making a list today..laugh more


life will give you plenty of moments and reasons to not laugh but if you look with the other glasses, you know not the rose colored ones, but the funhouse ones, life can be pretty funny


laugh at yourself
laugh at others


laugh with others
and laugh with yourself


ok that's all

2:25AM

Most people when asked what they were doing at 2:25 this morning would say without hesitation...SLEEPING!!

Ask ME what I was doing at 2:25 this morning....well let's see you know one of the most annoying noises you can hear in the wee hours of the night/morning

the CHIRP CHIRPING of a dying....dead...battery in your smoke detector

Now try as I might, I couldnt just ignore the chirping so I finally willed myself out of my sleep (my dont have to work the next day deep sleep) (my 50-something degrees and windows open with flannel sheets and blanket pulled up to my nose SLEEP) and in my stupor ascertained that the offending chirping, ill-timed battery dying detector was in my room

SO since these are no longer the alarms you can just pop the battery out and go back to sleep... I had to devise a plan

Now most plans at this time of the morning are not well planned nor executed..

so I stood on top of my trunk trying to open up this smoke detector..once i finally figured that out what did i find...oh a bunch of  electrical wires and a BIG WARNING that said...do not open until you have disconnected power...SO

I decided to avoid electrocution and I shut it...and the chirp went on....

THEN i remembered the home inspector saying the new smoke detectors had a different source of power that didnt rely on batteries so people could not just disconnect them and forget about them and then their house burn down

BUT i couldnt remember anything further...after all its ONLY almost 3am

so i closed the detector and cursed my brother who SURELY would have known how to fix it had he been there and i did what any smart and resourceful woman would do....

I picked up my still slumbering child and shut my bedroom door and went across the hall to HER room and HER cozy bed and from there we went back to sleep with the faint beeping across the hall now a muted annoyance ....and slowly we drifted back into a restful sleep

well semi-restful

because then i had a crazy dream where I showed up late for my bestie's wedding and my bridesmaids dress was handed to me and I was unprepared for the fact that it was a halter dress AND somehow i managed to have not shaved my armpits AND i was wearing black stockings under a cream see through-ish lace dress

*FULL DISCLOSURE-I woke up this morning and shaved my pits on principle*

So I walked down the aisle and everyone was commenting on how awful i looked

That was my night chirping and hairy!!!!!!!!!

Tonight I am hoping for sweet dreams and rest.....

A little Chick-Fil-A never hurt nobody

Happy Monday!!
and here we go again!!!

I havent ranted in awhile, I've been calm, I've been in control of my words and behaving well

HOWEVER

Today was one of those days, where someone triggered one of my RIGID, NON NEGOTIABLE, STRAIGHT TO 10 -DO NOT PASS GO areas in my life

My family
Specifically MY CHILD

let me rewind a bit

my child is a pretty good eater, she's not overly picky, and thanks to her parents, my parents, and of course HER Uncle Josh ...Jord has a palate inconsistent with most of her peers and I love that about her

school lunch....i dont recall my kindergarten food, BUT let me just say hers is lacking...and each week as i look at the menu for the week, my nose turns up and i instantly can pick the days that i know my child wont eat lunch

so after watching this month by month occur and talking to other parents whose kids too are suffering through school lunch and my child coming home famished , i decided to engage the Director

now i already knew menu was selected by their corporate office, which i am going to delegate THAT letter to my mother the ultimate letter writer, but i decided that the reasonable compromise was to prepare my child a lunch that my child would eat and therefore not have an empty belly and be able to focus on her studies vs hunger

As a reasonable parent i even recognize that their are dietary restrictions for other kids such as nut allergies, so sure no PB&J will be packed but for Day 1 -she had grapes, cucumbers, and turkey..

The email i received back from the Director, while possibly a little misinterpreted, although doubtful
inferred that my child should be encouraged ..starting at home to try the school lunch and she would have her teacher encourage  her to urge her to try the school lunch

Soooo how about NO

How about don't infer that I need have a discussion with my child about eating the school lunch that her father and i scoff at

How about you serve meals (that i pay for )that are more in line with the palate of a young child

How about if this policy is so strict you offer alternatives for children as you would in the same respect for kids with food allergies

I will NOT encourage my child to eat food I would not eat, especially if i am paying for said food

I wont get myself all worked up again BUT I decided to not reply to her reply and let it drop

I will continue to pack lunch for my child within the obvious dietary guidelines and restrictions and it would behoove them to allow my child to eat her lunch and not be forced to eat their lunch for the sake of "exploratory purposes"

Because if MY email was not clear enough.....in 23 more days my reinforcement aka the LAW aka MRS THIS IS MY GRANDBABY aka MRS DONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER aka I GET RESULTS aka GIGI will be here on my doorstep and I am NOT above stepping aside and letting Mrs. Ellen B handle this!!!!

Raindrops on my window sill

Another Monday has drawn nigh ...
laying here in my sanctuary listening to the cars pass by on the main road outside my community
the rain rhythmically tap dancing on the window

the temperature has dropped enough to allow the window to be opened

sitting here thinking of
anticipating
excited for
FALL

the smell of cinnamon
the smell of leaves

the crisp morning air
the way it pinches your nose
and rattles your bones

sleeping with windows open
then racing out of the bed to shut the window at the meeting of the dawn

i love fall
not just because its the precursor to my FAVE winter
but i genuinely love fall

the memories it evokes
the smells
the tastes
the sounds
the feel

the fleece in the morning
the blanket on your bed at night

this past summer was a scorcher
so the nights hovering around 50 degrees are welcomed and embraced

fall makes me want to escape
it makes me want to spend my weekends hidden in my thermals
hot chocolate with a side of adult  
blankets on the couch
cold toes and cold nose

when i lived at 350 Hilltown Rd, oh how i LOVED the fall, the burning of leaves, the cinnamon yankee candle...
the sun setting early
there is something about fall

something about the slowing down of things....

yes im all in

Oh my head

I wanted to ensure a timely blog and today I planned to have some good topic to write about BUT all i can think about is my headache...

i am not sure if it is the first day of the detox i have so bravely looped myself and 5 of my colleagues in OR well yea that's all i got

so today was a great first day of the week, while Mondays can drag or have a missing the weekend blues, this Monday was peaceful and filled with a lot of smiles and i think a new beginning

its been awhile since i had this kind of new start and i am excited

i am eager to see what is next
happy to learn someone new
bubbling with joy over what is next

jumping inside at the days to come
hmmmm.... that's all i got ..today was good

and i still have a headache....

Change of Pace

As I was riding home today after an overall pleasant and cheerful Monday that started off rushed and feeling like I was running behind

I drove home.... leisurely, windows down enjoying the 83 degree breeze which was such a welcome feeling after a summer full of scorching HOT days

BUT my thought of the day

As I read my morning devotional it was entitled "When your story doesn't stick to the script"

I read it this morning at 545am but I did not really comprehend the meaning until now

Even the way my day started.. I planned to be up and out the house on time

I planned to wake up have a little study/quiet time and then do some quick exercise

I PLANNED to have Jordan to school on time this morning

BUT... my story didn't stick to the script

i lingered in bed a little longer than i should have

i woke up and had study time but not the exercise time i planned to devote

i got downstairs and was delayed making tea and then packing my lunch and then taking the trash out

i left the house 10 minutes before the time Jordans bus leaves the school

my morning was anything BUT smooth and then I sat in traffic for an extra 40 ish minutes

my time before 830 had ALL the makings for ONE OF THOSE MONDAYS

and to boot i had a mild to severe tummy ache on my way to work

somehow between my morning and my day, something happened

something changed...the chaos melted away

i was replaced with a calm and a focus

my day went well
my day went great

my lunch was great
my exchanges at work were pleasant and productive

i left work and picked up my cupcake (her new self-requested name)
i came home to a clean home

and all i could think was when i woke up this morning , this was not the vision i had for my day BUT everything worked out and worked out well

my prayer for everyone today is that when life is hectic
when life is smooth
when life makes sense
when life is a series of "what the mouses'"
 no matter what LIFE IS at this moment
just breathe
breathe and know this too shall pass
breathe and enjoy the moment
breathe and be thankful
thankful for where you are and thankful for where you are NOT
if life were perfect how boring would that be
if life were the most flawless script...would you want to read it? would you want to skim it? would you want to burn it and just enjoy the journey?

my prayer is that you embrace the trials...and just know that triumphs come out of them
i pray that you always smile, especially on Mondays when everyone is probably feeling the same as you
i hope that you all realize one bad minute or one bad moment does not mean a bad day or a bad life

and most of all...be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life

so think positive, think happy, think joy, think faith...think LOVE

The road with TWO paths

So I must FIRST apologize for the tardy blog as well as missing one last week...

But i did have a blog brewing in my head on Monday, all prepared to write...BUT after traveling back from Detroit...the past two days and nights have left me nothing short of beat at bedtime

between driving 500 miles each way I had plenty of time to think and contemplate and pontificate and one theme that kept coming up was how sometimes in life we are given two choices....two options..the red pill or the blue pill....and i just wonder which choice most people make

when there is the path that is smooth and sunny and almost like the yellow brick road...is that the path that is more often than not chosen OR does anyone ever take the road less traveled...the road that does not lead to Oz

what if the yellow brick road is paved with guarantees and assurances (to an extent) VS the bumpy curvy road that potentially will have walls to climb, moats to cross, and dragons to fight

in life do we opt for the easy or does the sense of the unknown ever draw us in??

a different twist...the path of smooth and sunny that leads to Oz..well lets say that path is the path YOU choose whereas the path of the unknown is the path that God directs you to follow

do we choose the road of obedience at that point even when its filled with uncertainty and setbacks OR do we choose the path that we think WE have control over..the path where we make the choices we feel are best for us and our life and our current status

In life do we choose the safe job because it does not require us to grow and we are comfortable OR do we explore that other option...the job that forces us to stretch and that forces us to expand our skill set and knowledge

do we as humans tend to play it safe or do we take risks

or do we only take calculated risks when we think the payoff will be worth it

is it against our nature to walk blindly
how often do we need just a little bit of reassurance

i think for anyone with a relationship with Christ there is a natural struggle in that area...a desire to want to know where we are going and to know why and yet in a relationship with God he does not always show you his plan book and you may not always know WHY but we are asked to obey and to follow and to trust HIM

that's a tough pill to swallow...and often we are kicking and screaming most of the way ...

in relationships....hmmmm sometimes when there may be two potential suitors....do we lean toward the person who seems like a sure thing...are we motivated by the fear of loneliness ...are we propelled by wanting someone to "love us" that we go with the steady person despite some red flags or seeds of doubts OR maybe do we take that road of unknown

WHAT IF...what if i say we learn to take the risks?
WHAT IF ...we learn to challenge ourselves and grow?

WHAT if..the payoff is worth it

WHAT if that risks and that unknown leads to the BEST decision in our life

YES ...life is full of WHAT IFS...but just a thought...

WHAT...IF!!!!!

A whole lot of guilt

when the people you rely on in life go on vacation...

im driving to work today as i do every Monday but something was different..what you ask...oh lets see it started with Mrs. McEvil not being at work today, which ok in fairness i should be understanding because i more than anyone understand the need to take a day for some R&R or just not coming into work BUT STILL

then my PARENTALS whom i usually talk to on my drive in..oh let me tell you where they are...ON A CRUISE....who leaves their 34 year old daughter all alone...WHO DOES THAT...oh let me tell you..THE HOLMES'

I will say my darling brother did try to call me , I'm sure just to check on me, make sure my shoes were tied and I didnt stick my finger in the socket BUT by the time he called I was actually at my desk pouting...

Mondays are well...everyone feels how they feel about Mondays..its my day to ease back in and i like when people do not bombard me with questions, requests, OR expectations!!

I love that about my boss, if we dont have meetings...she will easily hide in her office and me at my desk until well after noon like today then we can touch base on anything upcoming for the week

So after a smooth day at work I skipped on out the office and headed home to use my NEW Toy...his name is MR GREY and he is a descendent of the Le Creuset family...He comes from good stock and right now he's making my kitchen SUPER HOT

lol
Mr Grey replaced my long lost Red &Black Dutchies and since I have a new toy I couldnt wait to get home to COOK

I spent all day yesterday mulling over the PERFECT maiden meal to be cooked in my new GUY...
I decided on my ULTIMATE, LABOR OF LOVE, not a quick meal....you better love the recipient meal

Bon Appetit's Braised Beef Short Ribs with Chocolate and Rosemary!!!

Now I have not cooked this dish in over a year and I certainly remember why...the food prep alone took me a good 45 minutes and that does not account for the 3.5-4 hours cook time...

BUT let me tell you...as the pancetta crisped...and the red wine reduced and deglazed....I was in my element ....
I hope all who sample my treat enjoy and appreciate the decadence and savor the myriad of sinfully delicious flavors.....


Anyhow-that was my Monday FUNDAY

Gettin Bloggy with it...

Ha that was a poor spin off Gettin Jiggy with it!!!

SO I just asked for input from my 5 year old about what I should write about and she said to say that Jord is sweet and Jordan loves her Mom

lets see i missed the Monday mark because i was celebrating 5 amazing years of being a Mom

5 years of laughter
5 years of learning and growing
5 years of patience
5 years of love
5 years of shenanigans
5 years of hugs and cuddles
5 years of smiles
5 years of awe at watching this little person grow from being a small inhabitant of my belly to this life sized , eating, pooping, crying baby alive

there is nothing that could have prepared me for this time in my life

i have looked on at other Moms and parents ..heck i even babysat...
nope there is no comparison for the lack of sleep and you staring at your child at 3am trying to figure out JUST how God chose you to be their parent to be their protector

I lay awake many nights in disbelief that she was my daughter ..that she was a part of me

i often still stare at her and smother her in kisses and the magnitude in which i love her is truly indescribable
so i am glad my mini loves me and is sweet but i am most of all grateful for the love that she grown within me and learning to love someone else first

to my little buddy
to my little smile
to the laughter soundtrack in my house

I LOVE YOU and i am excited for many many years to come and to watch you grow and change and i hope your lovey nature never changes

Daily dose of SHALLOW

I talk about transparency and authenticity a lot
i like to feel like i am a straight up person
i think i am honest and true

recently i MAY have been a bit snide about people's "friend screening process" and i've always worked from a place of trust upfront UNTIL  you give me a reason to revoke the friendship pass and then good luck getting it back

but as i have delved a bit deeper into the term "FRIEND" i have determined that i like the person i judged-- have my own process and if not a process i definitely have categories and buckets in which i play people in my life

i realized recently there are people who i am close to BUT i dont have that sense of deeper connection..there are people i can chat with and chat with frequently but they dont really know me

i have some people who i connect with but dont really have that vulnerable and raw closeness

in most social settings (SHUT UP JOSH-I can be social) but for example work...i appear super friendly, bubbly, and people probably think i am the life of a party...BUT that is superficial...despite all the hi's and waves and socializing in the halls ...there is but ONE who actually knows me, tolerates me, and still loves me...

Here at 34 I have a great circle of ladies who support me and encourage me, but adding in that level of vulnerability where I am completely open to how i feel, ups and downs, wishes, dreams, and desires...There are but a few

I have two ladies who i can be completely brutally honest with about EVERYTHING from finances to boys and there is trust, there is love, there is mutual respect and understanding

i know advice is given in love, i know that secrets are safe, and i feel there is reciprocity in these relationships

i dont count my family in these statistics because that is different****

When I use the word shallow..its not necessarily bad..I think every person in our life fills a role and everyone is not meant to help you count out every stretch mark and know the intimate details of your life, maybe a friend is your meal buddy or shopping buddy

either way, friends are precious, true friends are invaluable, and the best of the best of those are just indescribable 

Monday..blog day..a shortie

It's 7:21 pm on Monday evening

I felt very productive today..that came out wrong and like i normally am not productive on a Monday BUT lets be honest..Mondays are usually spent mourning the passing of another weekend and dreaming about naps and leisurely time spent in your robe with some wine...or is that just MY Monday hot fantasy lol

I knew with my workload being kicked into overdrive recently and probably for at least the next month i could either drag into work everyday and let all of my tasks pile up and overwhelm me OR i could figure out a plan to manage things and keep a calm and cool head and actually be productive vs spinning my wheels

So today I worked a mere extra hour and a half and now i feel like while the rest of my week is going to be sprinkled heavily with meetings and other obligations, this evening I gave myself a leg up and an advantage so I dont spend the rest of the week playing catch up

Now I am home with my ALMOST 5 year old ( I still cant believe its been THAT long) and we are in my bed with our respective Apple products relaxing and unwinding before the bedtime routine begins

Im glad no one is here to witness exactly WHAT we look like right now, but hey what happens in the princess palace STAYS in the princess palace

Monday-I feel like I conquered you and Tuesday-BRING IT ON!!!!

Just Breathe...

Well another Monday under the belt

I don't know about you but mine was overwhelming and hectic and I allowed myself to be filled with anxiety in trying to get a ton of things done and couple that with not one but two desks moves
taking my total to 14 since working in the building and well yes I felt frazzled

Between the extra responsibilities and the shortage of employees and the influx of new employees who require a little extra instructions and transition time....I felt like I was just spinning and spinning

I was grateful for my time at the gym although before I even began my workout I was sweaty due to the high temps in DC today

So amidst all of the things going on today I forgot to do the ONE thing that I know I ought to and the ONE thing one of my current Christian songs tells you to do and that is to ...JUST BREATHE

Had I taken the time to BREATHE

Had I slowed down

Had I closed my eyes and asked for a little PEACE & PATIENCE

I think my day would have felt more manageable

But alas at 4pm...well I stopped and talked so more so at 424 pm I left the door and amazingly I left all those feelings and all the stress behind...

It melted off of me just like sweat in the 100 degree heat and humidity and I entered back into the zone

the zone filled with purpose and understanding and calm

the zone where what makes me happy is the love of family

what makes me happy are texts from my Bestie from her day at the zoo

what makes me happy is hearing my Mom tell me about her "generation good luck" students

what makes me happy is pulling up and seeing my Punky Brewster child coming to the door and running to my arms

what makes me happy is coming home to my princess palace and having A/C and feeling so blessed

what makes me happy is knowing where true love and joy comes from and what it looks like

so if you have had a crazy Monday or whether it was fabulous...dont forget to take a moment to

Just BREATHE :)

Just don't become a Buckeyes Fan!!!

Well Kellee this blog has been in the works or at least in the back of my head for a few weeks and of course with your delayed departure I have been afforded extra days


I know you have anxiety and excitement about going into the unknown and this experience for you is  unknown
but a few things I wanted to share with you as someone who lives 500 miles away from her "HOME"


#1-View this move as an adventure...its an adventure to live somewhere new and different..you have always lived in Detroit and this is your chance to see other parts of the US AND Ohio is just our next state over..who knows you may become like Josh and never want to move back lol


#2-living somewhere away from your family can make your either truly appreciate the love and support you have at home or it can make you truly appreciate your independence and space :)


#3-you are able, capable, and amazing and this move will be your chance to see those things...when you have to be strong you discover just how STRONG you are and can be...


#4-This is move is about YOU and YOUR immediate family...while its not the popular thing to say and no one wants to hear..when you get married you and your husband cleave and become one and the priority goes to the 4 of you first and foremost. Think about all the military wives who move countless times and move countless miles away..they do it for their Country yes but they do it because that is what they married in to. While slightly different in some ways it is not, Biblically speaking Dereje is the head of the house and your role is to support him and if this job means him being better for you and the girls...well you know what the path is.... Others may disagree BUT at the end of the day...YOUR house ...YOUR decisions...we all can determine how we want our own house to be.


#5-This move will be what you make it, if you are excited and open minded about it...that is the experience you will have ...yes you will always miss the comforts of home but there is so much more out there and there are experiences to be had in Ohio that you and your family will share and the girls will share and it will give them a much richer childhood


#6-Do I miss home yes? But would I trade the friends/family and experiences I have had living away ...ABSOLUTELY not! There are plenty of times and things that I think man if only my Mom were right around the corner, but then I look around at the makeup here and my support system here and its quite rare what you have had with having your nuclear family so close to you and readily accessible...at times I have been envious BUT I look at the example I have set for Jordan and what a strong woman looks like and that she and I are not only SMART but KIND and HUMBLE and STRONG and RESILIENT and CAPABLE and we have realized that family is not always defined by blood ties but by those who you connect with and you can rely on...


#7 -so I say all this to say..I'm proud of you..I am SO excited for you..I am only a phone call away...no tears Kelz..just put on your crown and chin up buttercup..You GOT this!!!

4th of July Freedom and Hair

Well today is the ever popular 4th of July

As a kid this invokes memories of staying up late and playing in the street and of course FIREWORKS

At 34 the 4th of July while the meaning is not lost on me I can't but help think that man I must be failing as a fun adult and as a fun parent because all ive done today is

*insert dramatic music*

wash and restyle my hair...EASY PEASY

but then I had to tackle the hair bear's hair...

*moment of pause and cringes for anyone who has seen the mass of hair my child's head possesses and even more of a moment of respect for anyone who has had to wash or style it

i began this project yesterday and in fairness mentally i have been in basic human survival mode all weekend...you know Netflix binging HARD and fundamental human functions..eating, drinking, and a few well coordinate bathroom breaks

besides that its been COUCH love

yesterday in the back of my mind was a plan to take out Jord's hair the wash and restyle

over the course of 14+ hours all i managed to do was remove her twists and braids from the other week ..and it was a struggle...between my lack of ambition and her intense desire for "breaks" and "i just want to escape" it took me all day to get to 98% completion .


i took the last 5 twists out this morning

and being as though i painted myself into this last minute corner..today i was forced to dig in deep to find some gumption or maybe just to quit being lazy (probably more of the latter) and do her hair


so being as though in VA its raining and dreary on this ever so patriotic day i mustered up my strength and 2 hours later Jordan looks presentable again and less like Animal from the Muppet Babies lol

now we are home and she's drinking coffee (thanks Gigi) and yes she even sounded like my Mother in her "i just need some coffee" when we came in the door and watching a little Bubble Guppies while I ensure that the Monday blog reaches a certain demanding person (KSN) lol

here's to another week..i am anticipating a wonderful week full of wonderful surprises and marvelous things....
and hey its only a 4 day work week :)

Just me and Stella.....ok well Jordan and Zootopia!!!

Tis Monday fun-day blog day!!!

I missed last week's blog and therefore I was reminded very painfully for the past 7 days about the lack of blog , SOOO KSN this blog's for you

My parents left me multiple cans of Stella Artois Belgium delight and let me just say this is a good gateway beer for non beer drinkers like Moi

The highlight of my day was my rant about seedless watermelons NOT being seedless

I am not sure how grocery stores can continue on with this SCAM but if i buy a seedless watermelon I don't want to see seeds OTHERWISE why not just buy a regular watermelon ...

you are tricked into thinking you are getting some exclusive, specially engineered fruit BUT no..its got seeds, albeit smaller but seeds are seeds are seeds

so as i was complaining about this first world problem today my coworker came up and told me the best story

when he was younger his mom brought a "seedless watermelon" and clearly she was duped just like me but instead of sitting there miffed trying to pick out the seeds apparently she bagged that cut up watermelon and made Stephen march it back into the grocery store to RETURN the watermelon that was supposed to be seedless and had seeds

Now maybe this is one of those "had to be there to appreciate it" stories BUT I am truly envisioning a Mom , making her under the age of 10 child march into the grocery store utterly embarrassed with a garbage bag full of cut up watermelon and trying to return it

otherwise my Monday was filled with a lot of "figuring things out" as starting tomorrow I am the acting group chief while the chief is out having knee surgery and then starting Friday my boss is out so my reign of POWER (oh wait did i say that...I meant to cackle and say it) is vast.....

I will be running two groups for the next 2 weeks!!!!

wahooooooo!!! Did i mention I will be moving over into his office too...

ok on another note because clearly i have nothing substantive to write about today....tomorrow is my childs first field trip SO i will need lots of emails to check on me and my mental well being...

they are going to the waterpark...sigh..the helicopter Mom in me is feeling anxious...hence my evening of winding down with Stella....

It's just not always about you

I have cited the 4 agreements by Ruiz before and I love how relevant these agreements are to my life, to your life, all LIFE

While these are the 4 agreements :
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best. ” 

My favorite is #2..Don't take anything personally!! It sounds so simple and yet at the first site of conflict or tension what do we do....take things personally!

When someone cuts us off in traffic, when someone gives us poor customer service, we take it personal.

We make assumptions about that person and why they are treating us the way they are ...but what if we took a radical approach, a calmer approach, what if when that person sends us a short text or abruptly ends a conversation...

what if we pause and think its not about me, maybe just maybe this person is struggling with something..

maybe just maybe I am coming across a certain way to this person that is rubbing them the wrong way

maybe just maybe this person is intimidated or even maybe just maybe this person got the worst news of their life and they are processing it and just trying to hold it together

if we operate from a place of MOST things not being personal attacks against us, it changes the whole trajectory of relationships

it changes the whole cause and affect and responses

when jord has a tantrum, its not because she wants to embarrass me or because she wants me to yell...more than likely if i step back i can ascertain my child is tired and needs some down time because she's 4 almost 5 and not an adult

its easier to take that approach with some over others

its easier to step back when its family versus a stranger

its even easier with its an child versus an adult 

but my challenge to everyone today is to NOT take things personally

try it just for tomorrow..

dont think that someone's actions or reactions has anything to do with you

dont place your lenses and your current mood or situation on them or their behavior

tomorrow just try it...when in doubt ask but the bottom line dont assume

try to get to the bottom of things ...IF you can

but remember its not about you....

Zoos and Legos ..Oh my!!!

In recent news there have been lots of opportunities for the kid free or the stricter parents or those with AN OPINION to have something to say

to make a stand, to let their voices be heard, to stand in judgment
to make bold claims about what they WOULD have done

or questioning another parents parenting skills
and if can stand here honestly I can say for a moment I too was in the camp of HOW COULD YOU and keep a better eye on your child

BUT then i realized once I stand on my soapbox to judge these Moms, I need to be able to stand their and willingly be stoned and judged for everything I have done..not just as a person, but as a woman, as a friend, as a partner, AND as a Mom

and THAT got me thinking...trips to McDonalds, late bed times, my child having a severe affinity towards bacon, well swine and CLEARLY Grampy fried chicken

it got me thinking about indiscretions, bad choices, wrong choices of words, hurt feelings, poor behavior, lack of authenticity, and the list goes ON

If I went from zero to one hundred over these issues and I proclaim to have a spiritual foundation, what about those with no moral compass, what about those with who are the UNOFFICIAL judges of the world

and THAT is what makes the world a scary place..
what makes us feel so qualified and empowered to make such stands against others
who gave us the right
and the fact that we dont blink at how easily we judge and how fast we make proclamations about others and their lifestyle and life choices and while there are laws and rules and social norms and morally right vs morally wrong for those grey areas in between....who appointed us to make the call on those


so while the latest zoo incident did cause me to think not so much about charging the mom BUT it did make me question how we run zoos, because i do feel that we need to protect the voiceless better

if we cannot enjoy animals safely and from afar and take in their beauty and majesty without endangering us or them , then it is better to not enjoy them beyond the tv or books

that sounds harsh BUT these animals are already forced into captivity the least we could do is protect them...then again for the pro PETA folks, i'm sure some will say Harambe was put out of his misery and is no longer living restrained and unhappy


just a thought

oh yea woo woo!!!!

So I had to quote my 4 year old and her new favorite "get excited" phrase that of course accompanies a dance-ish move

my mind was fast at work the other day/night and the more i thought the more i realized i wanted to write about it

Here's the context:

I am in a "getting to you know you" process with someone and its been awhile, much longer than with anyone else
while i have struggled with this for awhile, i have been reminded that patience truly is a virtue and if you want something real sometimes you have to allow things to unfold according to HIS plan and not your own, so having said that, I am trying something new, I am not taking the lead, I am not filling the role of the independent millennial woman, I am take things back to the old school way, to the more traditional times where a man lead and set the tone, and the woman was a woman and a man a man..

Second part: As it has been pointed out by my mother lol me and this young man are not in our 20s and we both come to the table with LIFE and LIFE's mementos , therefore a certain amount of understanding and compromise and compassion is required for a successful adult relationship

Third: I am reading a book called YOU ARE LOVED with my small Bible Study Group and this book is just incredible for internal transformation and self-awareness for Love and God's Love for us first and foremost and his plan for us to Love others second

Now-the context is set, I was praying this particular night and in my thoughts trying to gain understanding on my current situation and ensuring I walk the proper road and handle everything according to Christian values vs the easy worldly ones that I have walked in the past so very easily
In the past I like to take charge, I like the steer the ship, I like to make decisions and call the shots, I didnt see it as me being overly dominant-I thought I was just exhibiting my independence and not being the "needy" woman...I was content to continue with that belief and line of actions UNTIL I met a man who is much different, a man who wants to lead, a man who wants to date like Christians and set our own guidelines and what works for us, a man who wanted to try something new as well, a man who is turned off by the boldness and edginess of most 2016 women.. Ha who'd have thunk it!!


The morning came and as I opened my book to study, the assigned reading for the morning was 1 Corinthians 13:4-7...I have read it before and I am sure its familiar to most, HOWEVER, as with all things in the Bible when there is a message that God is trying to deliver to you, that scripture may have been read a hundred times before BUT that hundred and first time is when you will read it with new eyes and your brain will process it totally differently...

so for reference I read this in my favorite 4 translations, NIV, NLT, ERV, and the Message... Here is the NLT's version:

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

TO say i had an epiphany is an understatement, it was one of those moments I looked up and just smiled because I realized while most things in life come with no instructions God does provide us with a guide a reference manual so to speak for life and how to live it...and i realized at that moment I was reading the blueprint for how to engage in relationships, romantic and otherwise and this was it. This is how I needed to engage in my current relationship-from start to finish day by day I need to follow this recipe and when I get off track go back to this recipe and follow it accordingly..it definitely reads like the recipe for success.

Love is patient and kind, it means just what is says..patient..patient means not always pushing not always rushing but having a sometimes still and peaceful disposition and in the patience there is kindness and not anger... Love means we are not jealous of our loved ones, which means we have TRUST...we dont need to brag....have some humility plain and simple...Love is not forceful , it does not dictate instead love allows things to unfold and be natural...Not be irritable, again patience and no record of being wronged...thats a hard one but makes so much sense...LET STUFF GO..forgive and forget, its not an option its a must, dont bring up past mistakes, we are all human and have erred ...Love does not delight when bad things happen but when good things happen ....and THEN my favorite part verse 7 ...LOVE NEVER GIVES UP, which means keep going, rain or shine, easy or hard , if it is LOVE you will find the strength to keep going, if it's not LOVE you will find an excuse

it never loses Faith and is always hopeful..when its LOVE you will always believe, there is no such thing as magic BUT love kinda feels like it because of the excitement because of the power...love is SO many things when Love is REAL and PURE...Love sticks through any circumstance LOVE is enduring, its powerful, it conquers ALL, it covers all sins and errors and mistakes, when love is pure and true...and my FAVORITE verse...#8 says LOVE NEVER FAILS because it doesnt

Love doesnt go away..no matter the situation if the love is true LOVE will always remain
Love is the greatest gift and its at the root of any and every good thing...

The 3 things that will last forever, faith, hope, and love....and yet again the ONE that is the greatest, the one that is required of us is LOVE

In our efforts to become better and stronger in our faith we often try to get focused on our actions and "well i give back" or "i help here" but fundamentally if love is not in your heart and behind your acts then its pointless

Memorial Day Observed ....with a smile :)

Happy Memorial Day All!!

I know I need to write something serious and patriotic about what today means to me and how I will be honoring those who have given their lives to allow me to live free..... BUT

KSN just tossed this beauty into my lap and I cannot NOT pass this along
because whether you are packing up for a picnic, recovering from last night, or about to break out the grill, I'm sure you can use a laugh....

and once you finish you may return to the reason and purpose of this holiday and what it means to you and your family

By Michael Harriot

I don’t even know when it started. I don’t even know why the controversy became a trending topic on social media, but for the past two days there has been furious debate on social media over whether sugar or salt is the appropriate seasoning for grits.
To be sure, this is a Black debate. I’m sure white people eat grits, especially in the South, but grits is a universally Black food. It probably has something to do with the fact that you can purchase a metric ton of grits for less than seventeen cents, so it has become a historic staple on the breakfast tables of Black families. Although I could not find a Gallup poll or government statistics comparing the percentages of Black people who eat grits to Whites (Yet another reason to distrust The U.S. Census Bureau), the fact that most of my white Southern  friends sometimes refer to them as “Hominy” and my suburban middle-class associates give me a quizzical look when I talk about grits until I say “polenta” is evidence that this is a discussion for Black people.
Plus, when talking about seasoning and spices, always bet on Black.
I don’t find fault with my Black friends who don’t like grits. They are allowed. Although, when anyone tries to derail a grits conversation by equating it to Cream of Wheat or oatmeal, I believe they are intentionally trying to distract the attention of the grits-loving population. It’s like talking about real hip hop and having someone bring up Vanilla Ice–you are immediately disqualified. Your vote doesn’t count. Be gone.
But let’s get to the people who like sugar on their grits.
You are what is wrong with this country. You are the part of the constituency of people who want participation trophies and don’t believe kids with bad grades should flunk. You want to live in a sweet and saccharine world. You probably believe in “safe spaces” and think Kenny G is jazz.
Well guess what? The world is not like that.  Everything shouldn’t be sweet. You are handicapping your taste buds and insulting the memories of the people who gave their blood, sweat and tears to plant, grow, harvest and grind the corn that you have dishonored and debased by defiling them with Dixie Crystal.
Sugar on grits is an abomination. It is a microagression. Many people don’t know that Harriet Tubman carried a shotgun and would kill anyone who she thought might endanger the lives or compromise the secrecy of the Underground Railroad… or who liked sugar on their grits. One of the ways King James modified the original Bible was to remove the “B clause” from the sixteenth verse of  the 3rd chapter of Revelation, which originally said “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth as though thy were sugar grits.” If you look through the historical archives, before Martin Luther King edited his speech at the March On Washington, there was a sentence at the end that said:
“I have a dream, that the people who believe in the supremacy that robs us of our our dignity, our right to vote and our freedom to live as full citizens will one day suffer the same fate as those who believe slavery was a noble institution, women should not have the right to vote and sugar belongs in grits.”
People who have refined taste buds know anything tastes better with sugar on it, but that doesn’t mean you should eat sugar on grits… or microwave grits… or Kwik grits. God made grits perfect. The only variation you should ever consider is white grits or yellow. If you sprinkled granulated Domino sugar over a bowl of naturally fertilized potting soil, it might be edible, but you’re still eating shit. People who eat sugar on their grits are capable of anything–murder, theft, slowing down when they change lanes…
God likes salt on his grits. Satan prefers sugar. Donald Trump likes sugar on his grits. Bernie Sanders likes salt. (Hillary Clinton used to prefer sugar, but recently issued a statement calling it an “unfortunate choice of seasoning” that is now part of her past, and it is time for America to move forward.)
But I understand there are objections. There are people who believe Lebron is better than Jordan, the Madea movies are funnier than the Friday movies and Chris Brown can outdance Michael Jackson. Some people just weren’t raised right.
If you ever catch someone putting sugar on their grits, don’t try to stop them–they are obviously crazy and could hurt in you the same way they are harming their breakfast. Just let someone know. Like they say–if you see something, say something.
And if you have young children who want to sprinkle something sweet over their breakfast, explain to them that there are some things you will not allow in your house–drugs, Young Thug albums and sugar grits. If they object, then you should take their plate and fix them a bowl of Corn Flakes. When they ask why, inform them that there are standards and traditions that everyone should pass to the next generation. Tell them that Jesus didn’t die on the cross for them to ruin his creation with sugar. Finally tell them that you offered them one of the oldest and most filling breakfasts in the history of Black people, and if they need sugar to consume it…
Maybe they just don’t like grits.
 

*Editors note: As a point of clarification, the original author would like to note that he was not debating whether or not white people eat grits–only that he does not factor in their votes when considering any seasoning-related topic.

a day late a blog short

I was promptly reminded yesterday that I did not complete a blog yesterday and that doing the one over the weekend was NOT a substitute sooooooo

im trying to think of what to say...oh what to write *taps on forehead*

how about some random thoughts/ideas

#1 my brother has for like the second time in a week gone to Luke's Lobster for lunch GREEDILY and supplied a picture to taunt me and make me rather jealous and hungry

#2 i am in awe and still processing the fact that my child is fast wrapping up her  Pre-K year and is about to have her graduation in like 2 weeks

my child, my only baby thus far, the first, my belly resident, is going to Kindergarten and quite honestly i never understood the parents who cried over stuff like this ..
i never got why it was a sad or emotional situation and yet now here i am...the super crier Mom who cannot even keep it together during a parent teacher conference

i am the mom who teared up again when i asked my child what they are doing tomorrow and she said trying on their cap and gown

sigh just sigh

#3-we finally got some super hot weather in DC today with no rain and that just made me feel worst about the state of my truck...i need to drop it off somewhere..make them sign an non disclosure and give them my checkbook and say  i will be back in 24 hours lol

i will blame this solely on Jordan and whatever shenanigans occurs in the backseat when i am driving

#4 there is no #4 sorry Kelz...that's all i got for the day...stay tuned for next week or maybe another Saturday

A day or two early

Today was THE PERFECT..stay inside the house, stay in your pajamas day

It was rainy and dreary and all the right elements for pj's, delivery, naps, and couch time

normally, when that perfect situation calls...I answer ....BUT Jord had a karate graduation today which demanded showers and clothes and being a productive and clean member of society ..she is no longer Ninja Jordan she is OFFICIALLY ......DRAGON Jordan *to note Uncle Josh you may want to rethink the ninja nickname you have been enjoying for the past year

and of course because today is Saturday, I had church and I had volunteered to Usher because one of the others was sick so I picked up an extra day

so i got word on Friday that my very casual and cool Saturday night service was going to be suspended due to a shrinking budget and they hoped that people would absorb into the Sunday services... Normally that shouldn't matter..It should be an easy choice..pick a new option

but somehow i felt a certain kind of way..i cannot quite put a finger on it..there was never a question of would i look for a new church, i LOVE my church, it feeds me in a way that no other church has

saturday service is relaxed...saturday service is very come as you as...and as someone described it tonight...the sunday service is very Loudoun County and all the things you think about the wealthy and often snobby area

i dont know if i was having angst just because of the "change" and something new and different and when i am not given a choice but a decision is made for me..

and while i cant take it personally because as Pastor Jim explained tonight it was a very tough decision....initially i did and i felt a moment of panic

but as the voice of reason sank in...talking to my Mom and talking to the head of some of the ministries i am involved in, i realized that my love for the church left me with only way to go...either 9am or 1045 am service!!!

soo sometimes in the midst of our easy breezy existence sometimes a change comes and we just have to trust in it and the bigger plan
and while this change is small and maybe doesnt seem overly personal...

i dont think every change has to be EPIC and every change may not be earth shattering to have some type of bigger plan element in it


so on this saturday i just want to say embrace change

embrace it when its easy
embrace it when its wanted
embrace it when its tough
embrace it when you want to kick and scream
embrace it when you can see the bigger picture
embrace it when you lack clarity and control

sometimes the best adventures and best life's plans occur not always when we are checking our perfect list and accomplishing items on them

sometimes the best chapters in our life come from the left when we were looking right

sometimes the sweetest moments in life come from when we eyes wide open took that first step and then the next

sometimes the happiest seasons are the ones when we looked up and looked out and without anything but faith and prayer just
simply
embraced
change

In the words of Alexander

and his Terrible, Horrible...No good, VERY BAD DAY....

I vehemently concur !!!

I didn't write yesterday and then today I was actually kinda busy at work AND I had an abbreviated day so I didn't get a chance to ummm well take my normally allocated "personal time" we shall call it :)

So my morning started off pretty swell and even though I was anticipating a boring 2 hour meeting, I was NOT prepared for the extent to which that meeting would draw on and draw out and really get under my skin especially at the end when I had finally made it to the two hour mark when the meeting was due to be over and people kept talking, people kept talking as if someone else was not waiting for our conference room, people kept talking as if they had ALL day, people kept talking as if 2 hours was NOT enough to cover the material, people just KEPT talking... if you have not guessed by now, it really got under my skin and it's now been added to my pet peeves list and other poor office etiquette list.

moving on.....

the rest of my day was great and dare i say productive :)

I left early to go get my little to have some allergy tests run ...soooo i was told it was simply going to be like scratches on the back and that is what Jord was prepared for and i was prepared for a quick n easy visit to the office...welllllll that is NOT QUITE what happened

after she's in my lap the doctor pulls out the first panel of allergens and there must have been 8 on each panel and into jordan's skin she presses and THE SCREAMS and THE TEARS began and the look of horror and that she had been lied to was written all over her face....NOT COOL

be honest with me and my child so we can be prepared and not go into a situation like that expecting a walk in the park
so then we sat and within 5 minutes we learned that our puppy that we were picking out would not be coming this year...as i watched her back puff up and the doctor immediately said oh yea she's got some allergies and some of them are at the full level of allergy


sooo we finished and then I GOT THE BILL....ok im still too salty to even write on this...but lets just say in the past 2-3 months on my daughters health I have paid around $5,000

now let me STOP right now and say I am blessed and I am not complaining because I am so VERY fortunate to be in a position to not have to choose between my childs health and other bills or not be able to have my child feeling better, so I know that is only God continually providing for me

I just wasnt expecting another bill today, but alas moving on

that was a quick lull before heading to teacher's conference which turned me into a ball of tears in awe at my baby who will officially be a kindergartner soon, they say don't blink and i try not to but my baby is a legit BIG girl...and a Big girl whose teacher feels is exceptional and so very ready for this next stage...i guess mommy just has to get there

sigh ...just...sigh

Jordan: "Mommy do you know what will make me feel better and forget about the shots"
Me: "What Jordan?"
Jordan: "Duck Donuts!!!!"

Me:*blank stare-drives truck to Duck Donuts*

Finally we return home and Im thinking I just want to get in and curl up in my robe, BUT before I can get to my safe spot I close the garage and while my truck was in, I was not in ENOUGH oh and what happens....yup the garage door comes down on my front...and because i miscalculated..I hit the button two more times before I realized I needed to back up more.....

sooo now at 744 pm i am finished a blog, from my couch, in my pink robe, and shortly is bed time , not just for my 4 year old but for me....lights out, melatonin wasted-lol

because today has BEEN A DAY...I won't say Terrible Horrible NO GOOD  and VERY BAD but

there were highs and there were lows...I embrace the lows because after the lows follows a high and i can appreciate the highs more because of the lows BUT from a place of honesty I am looking forward to crawling in my big king size bed and letting my 4 year old crawl in as well and then sweet dreams