today is Sunday and what a long 72 hours I have had
if I can sit and be honest since thursday there have been a series of obstacles and trying moments
all week i was feeling homesick..
the feeling crept in and just continued to build and build
while i am definitely one who thrives off of being around my "family"
this is the first time that i can say i am feeling homesick
i have been in VA for 10 years now and through many highs and many lows
i have always just kept moving forward and picked my head up and brushed off any feelings of missing home
for 10 years I have filled my time with adventures and work and living the Northern Virginia lifestyle
August 2011 changed that abruptly
The arrival of Jordan Lee Crump
The transformation from me being April to me being Mommy
changed everything, changed me, changed my WORLD and all that I thought I knew and
everything I thought I needed and wanted
Fast forward to 2015, the many many trips I take home, the miles up and down the turnpike to experience a bit of home
Going home sobers me, it grounds me in ways that nothing in this area could ever compare
Being 600 miles away while life changes and obstacles surface is hard, but having Jordan its even harder
not to say it can't be done, not to say i am weak
i realize many people do it, many single moms do it all the time and every day
but being strong all the time is draining and i want to safely be weak and be weak in the safety and security of my loved ones who i can depend on 100%
Being on vacation for 9 days contributed to this homesick feeling tremendously
lazy days spent on the porch watching the ways listening to the peace of nature
time to think
time to reflect
time to evaluate what is and is not important to me
the mitten, the midwest, is more grounded, the values are different, the pace is slower
not slow like the South but not like this rat race here
here in VA sure I have a great job, and while i am not thinking of quitting to go work at Starbucks, because that's not responsible
but now as a parent i realize my job is just that its a job, its not my LIFE
my life is what I do and what I have when I am not at work
work is just what i do and where i go to provide the means for being in this area
until one is a parent they will NEVER get that concept
until one is a parent they will never grasp the idea that work is really low on the list of priorities and the memories and the life you build far exceeds that 8 hour day
Its so funny because i thought i was alone in this feeling but now the Washington Post is reporting that for the first time they are seeing high numbers of people leaving this area, those who are not natives and returning HOME
and why because they miss the support, they now have kids and unless you are from here, many people are realizing they dont want to raise their kids here
i have 3 people in my office right now, from the Midwest and with kids Jordan's age and they are all waiting for that first thing smoking back HOME
I never thought I would be here, but then again its amazing how much richer my life has become since Jordan arrived with a scream
so here's to praying that my child and I return to the greatest state OUR state Michigan soon
