38 years and counting!!!!

so i want to dedicate today's thoughts and blog to a couple i know pretty well and today they are celebrating 38 years of marriage

38 YEARS-HOLY ISH!!!

That's a long time..its longer than i've been a live
its 3 decades almost 4

38 years is a LONG time-okay i know i already said that but as someone who seemingly hasn't even seen a 5 year let alone 10 years
38 years is FOREVER

are they cut from a different cloth

is it a generational thing

what is it that binds a couple together for 38 years

its not just love, although having some of that helps

is it commitment

is it EQUAL commitment
i think many failed marriages have the commitment but maybe its not equal or maybe its not strong so that when its tested
its crumbles

i think of how amazing it must be to have that much time in with someone

i think about how well you know someone and how im sure it genuinely gets sweeter and sweeter as the years go by

to get through the first 10 years of identifying and defining yourselves as a couple
then another 10 years to get into a groove and enjoy life and one another
then another 10 years to keep doing what you have clearly been doing and doing it well

ive read statistics that say divorce can be a generational thing
but then i look at me
my parents are celebrating 38 years and yet
where am i
not divorced just once but almost twice

why is that

i had a PERFECT example
i saw what it takes
i dont think i lack the commitment

i dont lack the desire and willingness to put in the work
i want til death do us part

i want to be confident in my relationship
i want to have that security that my partner is mine and mine alone and that no matter what obstacle comes along they will STILL be there

i want that spouse that is mindful of me and my sensitivities and fights fair
i want a spouse that disagrees but does not say things to damage or destroy me and our relationship

i want to build something and watch it grow
i have already created an alternate family model for my child
but how can i still give her what my parents gave me
i want to give her stability and positive examples

i dont want my child to replicate my mistakes and failures
i dont want her to see divorce as the norm and an easy out
i want my child to know her gigi and grampy put in decades together and that is the example
that is the model

soooo to mom and dad thank you for showing me how its done
even if i cant seem to get it right
at least i KNOW and have an excellent example of what marriage looks like and i see what the fruits of your labor produce
thank you
thank you
and Happy Anniversary 

the most perfect day

i know perfection is an illusion and that if you ask some there is NO such thing as anything perfect

but let me tell you today and this morning was PERFECT

my child and i woke up late as usual
but unlike the old me

i wasn't rushed
i moved with a purpose but there was no point in getting worked up and bringing her along on that excitement

we walked down all 4 flights this morning at the most leisurely pace
and by the time i reached the bottom i thought wow i always try to teach my child stuff but this morning the lesson was taught by her

jord taught me this morning to not get so caught up in the clock but to really stop and enjoy the moment
and today the moment was in walking down the stairs this morning with our matching shoes and on the same foot at the same time

we got to school and had a smooth drop off and then i hopped in my car
rolled my windows down
cranked my radio and drove to work

the whole ride i reflected on the perfection of the morning and how great i felt

usually mondays are a day to drag and miss the weekend
but today i felt amazing

i had a wonderful weekend
full of adventure and laughter and fun and while i can reflect back on it fondly and replay lots of the moments over and over and reproduce a smile
BUT the feeling i had this morning with the perfect 79 degrees and the sun softly kissing my skin
was just PERFECT

all is well
all is good
i have no complaints

i know every monday is not this way
but this monday was my perfect monday

we all need a perfect day where we are determined to just enjoy the moment and determined to not focus on all the crazy and "other" stuff and really just stop and think what is good and right in our life and our world and let that be our guide

let that be your smile
there will always be something that can be fixed or can be better
but there are SO many things in life that are JUST RIGHT the way they are

it's the little things

in life it is so easy to focus on the big picture and thebig things that we truly forget to sometimes appreciate the little things

today is monday and after an amazing time in michigan with my family i am back at work

i am tired and just trying to make it through the day
its not a bad day but a monday

however in the midst of my monday i got a wonderful surprise

something unexpected but completely welcome and appreciated

which brings me to my topic of the little things often holding more importance than the big things

over the past 2 days i had two acts of goodness done for me and despite being tired
i am now wearing a smile

the first one-i will just shout out my dad for yesterday

my heart was warmed and it was so thoughtful

thank you Dad , i love you

and todays act was something completely out of the blue and if i could have jumped up and down at my desk i would have

it was nice to be thought of and i think if more people did small acts for others the world would be a happier place

i had such a great time at home

had great times with my mom and we talked and bonded over a  nice bottle of prosecco

my dad was in 7th heaven with my mini me aka his favorite little person

and of course i spent some time with my other half and my adorable little niece

albeit too short i left home feeling recharged and my heart feeling love and loved

so todays thought and the thought for the week is to smile and help someone else smile