the aftermath

Today is the day after….does anyone feel any different?

 

Do you love your spouse or significant other ANY more than you did on Sunday?

 

I think not

 

Sure you may have been impressed by their acts of kindness yesterday but is today better because of it or is today JUST TUESDAY

 

Personally, we had hot dinner plans, but after a long Monday the ONLY thing that was important to me was just spending time with my hubby and my tempur pedic…

 

 

So fancy plans were cancelled pizza was ordered and we spent a wonderful relaxing evening

 

The lesson is that is what is the REAL meaning or purpose or urgency being FEBRUARY 14^th

 

My hubby had such a wonderful surprise for me yesterday.. I LOVE True Blood, and prior to we didn’t have HBO, but because he knows it would make me happy, what did he do….He ordered HBO for his wife

 

Sometimes, the fancy shiny things in boxes don’t compare to acts of kindness that speak volumes more

 

For some my idea and Valentine’s Day would have left a frown or air of sadness, but for me it was perfect

 

 

My other Mom always says “KNOW YOUR MAN” and that extends to men “KNOW YOUR WOMAN”

And guess what…mine knew me and that’s why today I woke up with a smile and loving him more

2/14/11

So today is the day of love.

Today is cupid’s holiday

 

Today is the day that hallmark says TELL YOUR LOVED ONE THEY ARE SPECIAL or tell that one you are dating some sweet nothings

 

I am normally all about holidays and the thought of a holiday that is about LOVE and ADORATION  should be right up my alley

 

BUT I think NO MORE..i think from now on I am boycotting 2/14/11

 

I don’t want my man to feel today is the day to go out of his way to make me feel loved and appreciated…I want that EVERYDAY

 

I don’t want one day where you are reminded by TV and every other media avenue to send me flowers..send me flowers ANY DAY and whenever the thought crosses your mind

 

 

Do NOT make today about buying me lingerie…I mean I will look just as hot in some red lacey number on the other 364 days of the year

 

I am truly on the fence on this issue

 

Part of me feels like it’s cute and romantic..but isn’t it MORE romantic when acts are done on a regular day of the week without the prompting of those STUPID gd bear commercials

 

I love my man..I do…but I don’t need one day where it’s okay to  CELEBRATE our love or hold hands in public

 

I like massages and candles and music EVERYDAY

 

Valentine’s Day should be a state of mind..not a holiday

 

It should be the full expression of how you feel about someone and I don’t think that is limited to just one day

 

So maybe when you are 16 it is cute and heck that is when teddy bears and stuff are cute but I am good and darn grown….I love you today and I will tomorrow so

 

Deep but not too deep thought: unfair for men or unfair for women or BOTH

Deep but not too deep thought: unfair for men or unfair for women or BOTH

unfair for men or unfair for women or BOTH

as i was driving home from a evening out with my girl i began to think about relationships and the way we form our ideas of what we think our or a relationship should be like

i began to contemplate where women obtain their images and ideals of what a "man" should be like, look like, and act like

now yes part of that image/ideal can come from ...what they see at home...what they grow up with..how their dad treats their mom or how their mom's "guy" friends treat her

but i think or i would like to throw out the possibility that another factor in our fantasy or dream list is from watching Romance movies..whether that was LOVE JONES, LOVE AND BASKETBALL, BEST MAN, MAID IN MANHATTAN, or pretty much any movie defined by the critics as ROMANCE

so i wonder if that is what we set as the standard or is that where our expectations lie....do we unfairly want the guy who is always thoughtful and always puts our needs and pleasure first 

or is that unreasonable

is it fair for men to have to live up to such standards that clearly only a .1% of men can even attain

OR on the other end of that question.....is it an opportunity for women to dream and say this is WHAT I WANT and NEED and a chance for men to have a birds eye view into the type of things women secretly fantasize about and therefore they get a free movie preview

men often chastise women for their love of cheesy romance novels or chick books,.....but maybe for women that is an escape maybe that is a chance to read about women whether fictitious or not who have men who adore them...men who find time in all their day to send a card or flowers...or the man who at the end of the day will still run her a bath or rub her feet 

i kinda feel like if men REALLY want to know WHAT women want..the cheaters way AFTER asking your mate would be to pick up one of those books and read it...and maybe you laugh to yourself...but hey if you tried some of those "CHEESY" things and your woman began floating on a cloud and arguments ceased.....would that not have been the best investment you ever could have made

at some point i wonder if its easier to acquiesce and meet in the middle and live in harmony then to constantly argue for the sake of being right and living with stress and tension and bitterness

that's just a few of my thoughts...please feel free to weigh in

and on a happier lighter note.....MAGGIANO'S -4 CHEESE RAVIOLI and currently if you order one you get one to go home.......i dont EVEN have the vocabulary to describe the pure ecstasy in my mouth and the utopia in my tummy

--
april janelle

insomnia blog

so as i lay here WIDE away since around 2am....lots of thoughts run through my mind.,.

the latest and greatest ...the pitfalls of marriage..or the prevention of

with today's statistics of 3 out of 4 marriages ending in divorce...one (being me) would think that it gives people pause before entering into a marriage..it would make one want to pause and really think about it so that when they make that step they are really and FULLY committed and into it..otherwise you become that 3 out of 4!

Some people think dating is harder because you are trying to impress and sell yourself or appear to be worthy of marriage while others are of the mindset of just being yourself either way....i have concluded DATING is indeed the easy part.....

when you are dating..your motivation is far different...you do things because you want to or hey you just dont do them at all

and you can walk away whenever you want with or without cause

but i dare you all to think for a moment of my theory...when you are married..you go in knowing the odds are stacked against you...you go in hoping to not become that 3 out of 4 but look at the stats..NO one is immune

people get married and let themselves go..you hear all the time...oh she was a dime...and then she got married...or he was all about his appearance before he got married

i think once you are married..that is when you up the sexy that is when you change it up a bit.,..you have to keep it spicy.,..,you are about to spend FOREVER with that one person and if that is not motivation enough to want to keep that persons eye i dont know what is

hit the gym harder..make sure your toes, brows, and hair are done...dont start dressing like the old lady

fellas..hit the gym harder...try new cologne...stay on top of your fashion and appearance ...FOREVER can be a long time and when it feels like a SAT test its not encouraging

i think the one thing that makes that 1 out of 4 couples last and make them IMMUNE and escape the ugly divorce club is that they are both COMMITTED 

and when i say committed i dont mean oh they both are on board or they would never cheat 

NO i mean they put their marriage first EVERYDAY

they put that PERSON first EVERYDAY

that person is their WORLD

that is a concept most dont understand but let me tell you when a man adores you and has you on a pedistal you can CLIMB any mountain and its the most AMAZING feeling in the world...

there is a difference between someone loving you and someone adoring you and you being their world

but the couples who last WORK everyday at their marriage...but its not work to them...acts of kindness and displays of love become second nature because the true joy for them comes in making that other person happy

it cant be 50%-50% it cant be one carrying all the weight

it cant be the woman always pushing and coming up with dates..and planning their path...that is a marriage destined to fall

and i will say YES there is a 1% breed of men out there who are the romantics in the marriage 1% and those men have stopped fighting the fight and decided they would rather live happy in and harmony with their mate versus the constant battle

those are the men that listen and they DO exist...1%

but in a successful marriage BOTH parties must work,,,one should never question where the other's loyalty or priorities lie

those couples have found harmony and work at maintaining it....when you are there....PRICELESS...because really who wants to live in turmoil over silly stuff

life is too short to spend it bickering

im a firm believer of you know the stats coming in..either you want to be here or you dont...,as adults we shouldnt have to beg and plead and barter with our mates in order to be happy...because who wants something you have had to beg for....

i look at many couples and everyone has issues but there are a few basics that go a long way....good communication, constant communication, different forms of communication

the underlying theme here is COMMUNICATION

sooo whether you are married or heading that way you need to think about what type of couple you want to be..the 3 out of 4 OR the 1 out of 4 that is working and working everyday but happy and loving every minute of it

dont give your sexy away because you are married..TURN IT UP....

--
april janelle

Monday....everyone's FAVORITE day!!! *sarcasm*

So the definition of insanity is something like repeating the same act over and over and expecting different results


i think this applies to our lives and relationships...people repeatedly try the same unsuccessful things in their relationships and yet are perplexed and vexed when the end result is the same

in order to have harmony sometimes people need to learn to listen and listen with their mouths SHUT...its very hard to allow other people to really look at us and give us criticism...EVERYONE knows that and everyone has been in that situation....i have a friend right now who is very misinformed on many things but you can only tell someone something so many times before you drop it...but when its someone with a more intimate relationship such as a sibling, parent, or lover...its not so easy to just let it go and ignore it


it boils down to whether or not you really want a change, whether or not you really want harmony and peace

if the answer is NO...then i guess keep banging your head against the same wall and expecting a different result....although eventually.....if thats a relationship type situation...one person may just walk away....

people are always willing to compromise and exercise understanding when there is progress or effort exhibited

when its your job...maybe its time for a new start...maybe its happening for a reason
 

the point is if you want change and you want real genuine change..not just for that moment or for that day...but long term goal....you must be willing to LISTEN and accept criticism...it is NOT easy to realize others dont see us sometimes the way we see ourselves....
its also imperative to choose your words WISELY...in an effort to get your point across....sometimes our words are cold and caustic and do more damage than good

to call someone a liar...that's not something that person will forget and if you feel so NEGATIVELY towards that person why are you with them....its like either get on board and be in it to win it or GET THE HELL OUT THE KITCHEN


this is just the start of 2011 and everyone should be trying new things to make this year a FANTASTIC one...i wish for nothing than for my loved ones to not have drama in their life and for everyone to just find a peace and harmony


i say this all the time and i will say it again

LIFE IS SHORT...dont spend it arguing or being hurtful


we just had an individual die from pancreatic cancer, he was diagnosed in May 2010 and passed last week....and here was this man with a terminal disease and he was still in work making sure "whoever took his place" wouldnt be overwhelmed..if that is not a selfless attitude we all can learn from

we are the captains of our ships and you can either choose to stay in choppy waters or you can have it smooth sailing

from every situation is a lesson to be learned....make sure you are not so caught up in the OTHER things that you miss your lesson


--
april janelle

THURSDAY @ 12:41pm

So I am trying to get a blog together so I can keep certain people appeased

 

I am at my desk at rock bottom. I just ate a container of the MOST amazing soup EVER, or at least in my top 5…

It’s the Baked Potato soup by Panera sole at Costco…every scoop from first to last and all in between were delicious …

 

I wanted to close my eyes with each morsel and truly savor the flavors, but I dared not have any of my creepy coworkers walk up and think I’m crazy

 

Speaking of work…there is nothing like working with people who are so ego driven and concerned about their “light” that they will do whatever they can to try to outdo you or make you look bad

 

 

And working with liars and opportunist….I understand this is dog eat dog world but from supervisors they should work harder to conceal it

 

Another rant..on to the liars…I cannot stand people/supervisors who talk one talk when there is an audience but in reality are preaching a different sermon

 

 

I have had the worst headache ALL day and I rarely get headaches but these mother fathers are contributing…I already snuck away to my BFF’s office to hide for a good 30-thank GOSH for people with offices

 

 

All the questions, all the hand holding, it’s the first day everyday for some of these folks

 

I wish it were 1:30 now so my supervisor would be heading out the door….

 

Sigh…..

 

I am SO glad tomorrow I can sleep in and only deal with the needy Bella tomorrow

 

I sound pitiful considering the hours I used to work and YES I am all about some downtime but right now this idle is making me stir crazy

 

I have to share with you a funny story about someone I know who is exceptionally annoying and wack

 

This individual called my desk phone 3 times, which the FIRST time they called I knew it wasn’t an emergency AND they left no message….so I’m like WTH ….

 

So I send an email/text like what do you need

 

To which they reply oh nothing …I was just going to tell you that I was going to see your buddy Ben in Texas in a few days (NOT NEW NEWS to me)

 

So I reply YES I ALREADY KNEW

 

His response is well do you want me to relay any messages….*to which I am thinking REALLY-if I DID have a message I am not 5 or on a remote island why would I pass it through you*

 

I said NO-I TALK TO BEN ON A REGULAR basis

 

HIS wack reply was…OH WHAT A LUCKY GUY

 

Oh my GOSH-that is EXACTLY why I do not talk to you on a regular basis and in via email and just a quick hi and bye

 

I do NOT have that patience…socially awkward and socially retarded……

 

I know I sound cruel BUT come on now REALLY

 

 

Sigh…so that is my rant of the day…after work…first stop COSTCO,…and the sample angels better be in full effect and I also plan to reward myself with a nice HEBREW NATIONAL hot dog !!!!!