i am not an easy going-go with the flow person
i like order-i REALLY like/LOVE crave order-I am more control freak than not
i do not like chaos and i do NOT like NOT having a plan
a plan is NOT just talking about something-a plan is making choices and making sure they are properly
i dont like to fly by the seat of my pants its not me and i will no longer pretend it is
i LOATHE surprises-let me clarify-ok say you come home and you have my favorite cheesecake or blackened salmon-OK LOVE that-totally acceptable
Surprises like anything involving me and MY life and i find out when someone else does OR i find out via someone else -NOT okay
i figure i am grown at this point in my life-i am self sufficient and a responsible contributing member of society-don't put me in positions to have to be brutally honest with you
when you put me in a situation that is one i don't like-well than the consequences were brought on by yourself
sidebar-the neighborhood handyman is out working on the front lawn but he has his radio with him and the shit is loud and it's just ONE MORE thing to make me a cantankerous B!
so yes-back to it-
Josh is a person who can have people call and say hey im in town and roll with it
i am NOT
it might not be that i even have anything planned BUT the point is if i mentally have prepared myself to do one thing and then something unexpected comes from left field i am not happy
and i am also not a bad person if i just say sorry i cant accommodate
i know in life you have to expect the unexpected-i get that
i understand some things are out of my control-weather-life/death-job BUT the things within my personal control-i dont have to expect nor deal with the unexpected.
right now i am in a completely annoyed state-and i dont care
and if i really could do what i wanted id start with going out and kicking NO better id toss that stupid radio playing all Motown's classics off the porch and into the street
and then id turn off my phone and go hide
and relish the silence and peace and wonderfulness of ME
i know its not nice and i know its not what people expect from me
but lets cut the bullshit people
cut the bullshit
