This blog is brought to you by my sponsor Jordan, the keeper of the cough, the owner of germs
and the current recipient of the Pink Eye Monday award
Today started off as a regular day, a Monday guaranteed to be full of pre-holiday shenanigans and terrific tomfoolery... afterall my boss is out until after the New Year and that leaves me with time to focus on galavanting in the halls with this brunette i know
HOWEVER
after waking up and spending extra time getting ready (like I shaved my legs) I went to awake the mini
I picked her up and looked at that sweet face only to discover every parents germy nightmare...eye crusties and not just the regular wipe them off and keep going, the kind that makes you stop in your tracks
and realize you are not going to work that day
So after making the necessary calls for her and me
we retreated to the couch for some respite
THEN responsibility set in and we went to see the doc
so Jord has the start of conjunctivitis...maybe viral..maybe bacterial....so she has meds now and the doc also found a small bead or object in her ear...
a bead or object that does not belong in her ear
SIGH...
Now we are back on the couch, trying to keep princess quarantine on her side
But hey..just two more days of work and then next stop... HOME
Which let me fully disclose here that I, April Janelle, lover of all things Christmas and Christmasy have NOT begun shopping
I wonder if this is how Josh feels EVERY year (snicker snicker)
I think I will begin this weekend lol before Sunday
Now back to watching Santa Claws with sicky poo
it has some weird kittens that talk and for Kellee who HATES cats
Im just imagining how her face would frown at this movie (lol) that makes me laugh a lot
Me...honest and raw....me happy...me sad....me talking about love..me talking about life...me
Monday, December 19, 2016
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
Sometimes you just want that old thing back..
I am officially T minus 2 days before a certain someone gets to town... Now before anyone starts breaking out their abacus or counting on a calendar or fingers to identify how they think I may have miscounted...let me explain to you MY math
Tomorrow is Wednesday and then it's THURSDAY and Friday is the day HE arrives so clearly that day does not get counted because essentially that is like Christmas...For those not comfortable with that reference, it's like 4th of July and just because the fireworks don't begin until it's dark doesn't make the excitement any more subdued during the day
While there are moments of sheer excitement and anticipation there is also a relative calm within me
Many of those who have been on the journey of my heart with me for the past 1 year or so are RATHER excited and continue to ask me... ARE YOU READY FOR FRIDAY? IT'S ALMOST THE 9th!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR? WHERE WILL JORDAN BE? etc etc
I think the support team doesn't quite realize that while yes Friday holds a degree of HURRY UP AND GET HERE and IS IT HERE YET...the feeling can best be described as how I feel when I am preparing for a trip to Detroit, going home..
I am always excited to get home, sleep in MY bed, be in MY city, eat familiar food, be around familiar faces, but there is comfort in going home
Going home for me is parallel to that familiar sweatshirt, that favorite pair of flannel pants
SO Friday, December 9th, while I am SUPER excited to "be home" --there also is not the pressure to change my hair, get a new outfit or make changes or do things that one might do on a first date
PLEASE DO NOT READ THAT I WILL BE A SLOUCH OR LETTING MYSELF GO
But I do not feel anxious or overly worried about the outcome
Friday will come and from the moment I see all 6'6 of Mr. S walking my way, and the moment his eyes meet mine and they light up and twinkle with excitement (because YES when he sees me he lights up and his eyes twinkle) I will meet his smile and find myself in his arms and 2014 will replay and 2003 will play and we will be back to that oldie but goodie
I will sigh in relief that I can be me
I will smile knowing he knows all the good and the bad and the in between.....and for once in my life
I think i finally get the value in that
I value having families that are supportive and warm
KSN and I laugh often because I continue to find myself in relationships where the families are SUCH a bonus and with Mr. S it is NO different and I know he feels the same way about "Mother" and "Grampy"
There is a sense of two puzzle pieces that just fit
No jiggering and flipping pieces around...just a connection...an easy one...
laughter comes so easily
serious moments are shared
trust is built
love is reinforced
and that is why Friday after a year and some change (Mr. S can tell you the exact number of days and hours)
I am circling back to that constant theme
I am adding 2016 to the trilogy...the 3rd and final installment of Mr. S and Ms. April Holmes..
So stay tuned...because this is where the story gets good..this is where the story truly begins...and while some say in life there are no fairytales and while that may be true....in life there are some epic love stories and I think I can say mine has been in the works and the author has taken His time and included so many details
so many details that are OURS
and that is what going forth we will build upon ...hand in hand..heart in heart..trust in God...and a lot of prayers and support from those who know us and those who love us
xoxoxoxo
Tomorrow is Wednesday and then it's THURSDAY and Friday is the day HE arrives so clearly that day does not get counted because essentially that is like Christmas...For those not comfortable with that reference, it's like 4th of July and just because the fireworks don't begin until it's dark doesn't make the excitement any more subdued during the day
While there are moments of sheer excitement and anticipation there is also a relative calm within me
Many of those who have been on the journey of my heart with me for the past 1 year or so are RATHER excited and continue to ask me... ARE YOU READY FOR FRIDAY? IT'S ALMOST THE 9th!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR? WHERE WILL JORDAN BE? etc etc
I think the support team doesn't quite realize that while yes Friday holds a degree of HURRY UP AND GET HERE and IS IT HERE YET...the feeling can best be described as how I feel when I am preparing for a trip to Detroit, going home..
I am always excited to get home, sleep in MY bed, be in MY city, eat familiar food, be around familiar faces, but there is comfort in going home
Going home for me is parallel to that familiar sweatshirt, that favorite pair of flannel pants
SO Friday, December 9th, while I am SUPER excited to "be home" --there also is not the pressure to change my hair, get a new outfit or make changes or do things that one might do on a first date
PLEASE DO NOT READ THAT I WILL BE A SLOUCH OR LETTING MYSELF GO
But I do not feel anxious or overly worried about the outcome
Friday will come and from the moment I see all 6'6 of Mr. S walking my way, and the moment his eyes meet mine and they light up and twinkle with excitement (because YES when he sees me he lights up and his eyes twinkle) I will meet his smile and find myself in his arms and 2014 will replay and 2003 will play and we will be back to that oldie but goodie
I will sigh in relief that I can be me
I will smile knowing he knows all the good and the bad and the in between.....and for once in my life
I think i finally get the value in that
I value having families that are supportive and warm
KSN and I laugh often because I continue to find myself in relationships where the families are SUCH a bonus and with Mr. S it is NO different and I know he feels the same way about "Mother" and "Grampy"
There is a sense of two puzzle pieces that just fit
No jiggering and flipping pieces around...just a connection...an easy one...
laughter comes so easily
serious moments are shared
trust is built
love is reinforced
and that is why Friday after a year and some change (Mr. S can tell you the exact number of days and hours)
I am circling back to that constant theme
I am adding 2016 to the trilogy...the 3rd and final installment of Mr. S and Ms. April Holmes..
So stay tuned...because this is where the story gets good..this is where the story truly begins...and while some say in life there are no fairytales and while that may be true....in life there are some epic love stories and I think I can say mine has been in the works and the author has taken His time and included so many details
so many details that are OURS
and that is what going forth we will build upon ...hand in hand..heart in heart..trust in God...and a lot of prayers and support from those who know us and those who love us
xoxoxoxo
Monday, November 28, 2016
For the LOVE .....of......
After spending a wonderful turkey day in Detroit, I made the attempt to head back to Virginia earlier than normal, BUT those attempts were foiled and failed
The last two hours of the drive were filled with projectile vomit and excess traffic...
arghhh....
by the time I reached Ashburn, my spirit was a little downtrodden and I could not wait to exit the vehicle
I placed an emergency call to my CPP and uttered the words "Bring the disaster towels"...
as i pulled on Litchfield, he approached the car and the vomit ball in the back and the situation was neutralized
to think Grampy had just cleaned out that seat earlier that day-HA
but we had a wonderful holiday so many thoughts, so many emotions
the joy and thanksgiving of being with family
turkey day jord-josh-ray and i went to the game and that was definitely a good time
it was a new adventure and the company was just good and honestly just watching josh & jord brings
such happiness to my heart...Kellee has always been their #1 fan but now after really paying attention to them.... i too am on board
they laugh, they argue, they hug, they smile, he teaches, she learns, they are so much alike, its incredible
Jord and Gigi are a whole other dynamic....the adoration and excitement and as Uncle Corey described the pom-pom sweat factory-Jord looks forward to and thrives on Gigi's craftiness and creativity and it feeds her and then she returns to the Terrace expecting the same -(ha that is always a slight let down-but im working on it)
Grampy and Jord--all i can say is when she came up from the basement with Grampy's drill..... speechless!!!
My trip culminated with a very quick ..twitter like visit with the bestie...we laughed because now that we are Moms of littles..our conversation style has changed SO drastically..long gone are the days of long uninterrupted conversations...i'm sure if we had the Gigi's watch the girls we could have that but generally we get the majority of our talking done via text or email
and i think we are both comfortable and ok and operating in grace of where we are and the strength of our relationship....I am soooo THANKFUL for you KSN :)
My holiday was extra special because of a reunion the week before, an unplanned, yet ever so easy return and re-opening of a door that was not fully closed, but more left ajar
so my holiday had a little aspect of 3 times is the charm
I used to prescribe to the once a door is closed , do not re-open, do not rehash, but there is ONE individual who has defied my rule and made me eat my words
This guy and I have history and lately i've realized history, especially when the history is SO GOOD, is not something to take lightly
My Dad is quick to share wisdom and yes 85.5% of the time I listen, but this weekend we talked more and we talked about THIS GUY and my Dad gave me a lot to think about
I came to some conclusions.....a few are...
Love is not necessarily easy
Love WILL and DOES fight and if it doesn't maybe its not LOVE
LOVE does not give up
LOVE is not a dime a dozen
LOVE is forgiving ..and accepting
LOVE is soooo very powerful
*Love-y is currently putting bandaids on her hand on my floor, I'm counting 4 empty wrappers
LOVE is everything
and I am thankful for that kind of LOVE
so today's blog is all about the LOVE ..of...
FAMILY
FORGIVENESS
FUN
FOOD
FUTURE
The last two hours of the drive were filled with projectile vomit and excess traffic...
arghhh....
by the time I reached Ashburn, my spirit was a little downtrodden and I could not wait to exit the vehicle
I placed an emergency call to my CPP and uttered the words "Bring the disaster towels"...
as i pulled on Litchfield, he approached the car and the vomit ball in the back and the situation was neutralized
to think Grampy had just cleaned out that seat earlier that day-HA
but we had a wonderful holiday so many thoughts, so many emotions
the joy and thanksgiving of being with family
turkey day jord-josh-ray and i went to the game and that was definitely a good time
it was a new adventure and the company was just good and honestly just watching josh & jord brings
such happiness to my heart...Kellee has always been their #1 fan but now after really paying attention to them.... i too am on board
they laugh, they argue, they hug, they smile, he teaches, she learns, they are so much alike, its incredible
Jord and Gigi are a whole other dynamic....the adoration and excitement and as Uncle Corey described the pom-pom sweat factory-Jord looks forward to and thrives on Gigi's craftiness and creativity and it feeds her and then she returns to the Terrace expecting the same -(ha that is always a slight let down-but im working on it)
Grampy and Jord--all i can say is when she came up from the basement with Grampy's drill..... speechless!!!
My trip culminated with a very quick ..twitter like visit with the bestie...we laughed because now that we are Moms of littles..our conversation style has changed SO drastically..long gone are the days of long uninterrupted conversations...i'm sure if we had the Gigi's watch the girls we could have that but generally we get the majority of our talking done via text or email
and i think we are both comfortable and ok and operating in grace of where we are and the strength of our relationship....I am soooo THANKFUL for you KSN :)
My holiday was extra special because of a reunion the week before, an unplanned, yet ever so easy return and re-opening of a door that was not fully closed, but more left ajar
so my holiday had a little aspect of 3 times is the charm
I used to prescribe to the once a door is closed , do not re-open, do not rehash, but there is ONE individual who has defied my rule and made me eat my words
This guy and I have history and lately i've realized history, especially when the history is SO GOOD, is not something to take lightly
My Dad is quick to share wisdom and yes 85.5% of the time I listen, but this weekend we talked more and we talked about THIS GUY and my Dad gave me a lot to think about
I came to some conclusions.....a few are...
Love is not necessarily easy
Love WILL and DOES fight and if it doesn't maybe its not LOVE
LOVE does not give up
LOVE is not a dime a dozen
LOVE is forgiving ..and accepting
LOVE is soooo very powerful
*Love-y is currently putting bandaids on her hand on my floor, I'm counting 4 empty wrappers
LOVE is everything
and I am thankful for that kind of LOVE
so today's blog is all about the LOVE ..of...
FAMILY
FORGIVENESS
FUN
FOOD
FUTURE
Monday, November 21, 2016
Momentary Lapse of Good Judgment ...
I like my sleep
everyone who knows me knows that
I love a good nap
I took full advantage of having a child and taking naps when she napped
I love that even now at 5 she still can be forced and coerced into a nap
although let me caveat and say someone else who loves a good nap and can do it anytime and anywhere at the expense of those around him ......JOSHUA***
so last night for a moment, well several and then several more I somehow lost my mind and stayed up far past my regular bedtime (which per my Mom is early) but then it became normal adult late and then it became I don't have a job late
and here is what I learned...
when you are under 30 the concept of sleep is DIFFERENT and more FLUID and CONCEPTUALIZED
when you are an auntie or uncle with no kids...the same fact applies
There is something about becoming a parent or OVER 30 that makes sleep a coveted thing like the Willy Wonka Golden Ticket
Admittedly- I brought the staying up late for the sake of laughter and love on my own self
There was no bribery, no twisting of the arm, not even any negotiations
and yet at 130am when even me and my fuzzy math could calculate 3.5 hours of sleep
I kept smiling , I kept laughing..I kept talking...
but now......
Im sleepy
I am going to drive home with no heat on in my car..
I am leaving work at 4
I am getting in bed with Jordan tonight..no judgment
My body aches
I won't ever do this again....
well just not tonight :)
everyone who knows me knows that
I love a good nap
I took full advantage of having a child and taking naps when she napped
I love that even now at 5 she still can be forced and coerced into a nap
although let me caveat and say someone else who loves a good nap and can do it anytime and anywhere at the expense of those around him ......JOSHUA***
so last night for a moment, well several and then several more I somehow lost my mind and stayed up far past my regular bedtime (which per my Mom is early) but then it became normal adult late and then it became I don't have a job late
and here is what I learned...
when you are under 30 the concept of sleep is DIFFERENT and more FLUID and CONCEPTUALIZED
when you are an auntie or uncle with no kids...the same fact applies
There is something about becoming a parent or OVER 30 that makes sleep a coveted thing like the Willy Wonka Golden Ticket
Admittedly- I brought the staying up late for the sake of laughter and love on my own self
There was no bribery, no twisting of the arm, not even any negotiations
and yet at 130am when even me and my fuzzy math could calculate 3.5 hours of sleep
I kept smiling , I kept laughing..I kept talking...
but now......
Im sleepy
I am going to drive home with no heat on in my car..
I am leaving work at 4
I am getting in bed with Jordan tonight..no judgment
My body aches
I won't ever do this again....
well just not tonight :)
Thursday, November 17, 2016
beef & broccoli
let me tell you how the perfect pre-Friday is going
*taxpayers be warned, I am currently modeling the picture of inefficiency BUT this time its not deliberate
I have been having issues with my work computers ever since I changed my name..and for over 5 weeks things have worked intermittently ..and finally they realized why
so IT is syncing my accounts which has rendered me useless
I CANNOT log in!!!
So how perfect is it that I have a free day to smoke and joke justifiably
I honestly felt bad around 1130 and went down to the IT office to check on the status of things JUST IN CASE
and guess what it's not ready sooo....
I guess I stay surfing the net and see what it looks like at the end of the internet
just kidding I have Kellee to keep me entertained
I must admit I may have to leave work early..its one thing to come in and slack off but have to refocus every once in awhile but
I am limited right now to just sitting here
and now I may be bored
hmmm ok
I just saw the news and my boss -DNI Clapper is resigning ...
guess he didn't vote for Trump either
I wonder who the new Director will be and will I still get 3 hour early releases on the day before the holiday
It would be a shame if we did not
ok this was a crappy 3 days Post Monday blog
hehehehe
*taxpayers be warned, I am currently modeling the picture of inefficiency BUT this time its not deliberate
I have been having issues with my work computers ever since I changed my name..and for over 5 weeks things have worked intermittently ..and finally they realized why
so IT is syncing my accounts which has rendered me useless
I CANNOT log in!!!
So how perfect is it that I have a free day to smoke and joke justifiably
I honestly felt bad around 1130 and went down to the IT office to check on the status of things JUST IN CASE
and guess what it's not ready sooo....
I guess I stay surfing the net and see what it looks like at the end of the internet
just kidding I have Kellee to keep me entertained
I must admit I may have to leave work early..its one thing to come in and slack off but have to refocus every once in awhile but
I am limited right now to just sitting here
and now I may be bored
hmmm ok
I just saw the news and my boss -DNI Clapper is resigning ...
guess he didn't vote for Trump either
I wonder who the new Director will be and will I still get 3 hour early releases on the day before the holiday
It would be a shame if we did not
ok this was a crappy 3 days Post Monday blog
hehehehe
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
And this too shall pass...but until it does
One of my smartest and highly treasured and loved counselors shared this with me today... It was so profound and fits into today's narrative that I am sharing it..and encourage you to share it as well..
Ali Michael, Ph.D. Teacher educator, consultant, writer, filmmaker
What should I say to my students after the election if Trump wins?” a principal asked me recently. Good question. What should we tell our children?
Tell them, first, that we will protect them. Tell them that we have democratic processes in the U.S. that make it impossible for one mean person to do too much damage. Tell them that we will protect those democratic processes ― and we will use them ― so that Trump is unable to act on many of the false promises he made during his campaign.
Tell them, second, that you will honor the outcome of the election, but that you will fight bigotry. Tell them bigotry is not a democratic value, and that it will not be tolerated at your school. Tell them you stand by your Muslim families. Your same-sex parent families. Your gay students. Your Black families. Your female students. Your Mexican families. Your disabled students. Your immigrant families. Your trans students. Your Native students. Tell them you won’t let anyone hurt them or deport them or threaten them without having to contend with you first. Say that you will stand united as a school community, and that you will protect one another. Say that silence is dangerous, and teach them how to speak up when something is wrong. Then teach them how to speak up, how to love one another, how to understand each other, how to solve conflicts, how to live with diverse and sometimes conflicting ideologies, and give them the skills to enter a world that doesn’t know how to do this.
Ali Michael, Ph.D. Teacher educator, consultant, writer, filmmaker
What should I say to my students after the election if Trump wins?” a principal asked me recently. Good question. What should we tell our children?
Tell them, first, that we will protect them. Tell them that we have democratic processes in the U.S. that make it impossible for one mean person to do too much damage. Tell them that we will protect those democratic processes ― and we will use them ― so that Trump is unable to act on many of the false promises he made during his campaign.
Tell them, second, that you will honor the outcome of the election, but that you will fight bigotry. Tell them bigotry is not a democratic value, and that it will not be tolerated at your school. Tell them you stand by your Muslim families. Your same-sex parent families. Your gay students. Your Black families. Your female students. Your Mexican families. Your disabled students. Your immigrant families. Your trans students. Your Native students. Tell them you won’t let anyone hurt them or deport them or threaten them without having to contend with you first. Say that you will stand united as a school community, and that you will protect one another. Say that silence is dangerous, and teach them how to speak up when something is wrong. Then teach them how to speak up, how to love one another, how to understand each other, how to solve conflicts, how to live with diverse and sometimes conflicting ideologies, and give them the skills to enter a world that doesn’t know how to do this.
Tell them bigotry is not a democratic value, and that it will not be tolerated at your school.
Teach them, third, how to be responsible members of a civic society. Teach them how to engage in discussion—not for the sake of winning, but for the sake of understanding and being understood. Students need to learn how to check facts, to weigh news sources, to question taken-for-granted assumptions, to see their own biases, to take feedback, to challenge one another. We need to teach students how to disagree—with love and respect. These skills will be priceless in the coming months and years as we work to build a democratic society that protects the rights of all people ― regardless of the cooperation or resistance those efforts face from the executive branch.
Say that silence is dangerous, and teach them how to speak up when something is wrong.
Finally, remind them ― to ease their minds ― that not everyone who voted for Donald Trump did so because they believe the bigoted things that he has said this year. Many of them voted for him because they feel frustrated with the economy, they feel socially left behind, and they are exercising the one power they have. We need to challenge Trump and his supporters to differentiate between their fears and the bigotry catalyzed by those fears.
In the aftermath of this traumatic election, I hesitate to even exercise my voice in this way. In the past year, I received hate mail and a death threat from white supremacists for blog posts like this ― blog posts that are, let’s be honest, fairly insignificant expressions of personal opinion from a person with very little power. I am not a threat. And yet people have threatened me ― and my family ― for expressing my view that we should build a world in which all human beings can live freely in the wholeness of their identities. I fear that this kind of intimidation will only increase in the event of a Trump victory. I fear that it will worsen tomorrow ― as soon as I hit send ― if Trump supporters are emboldened in their aggression towards people with whom they disagree. And yet the only thing that makes me feel safe in this moment ― as I stare into the face of a possible of a Trump victory ― is to speak up and speak out, and to invite others to do the same.
In the aftermath of this traumatic election, I hesitate to even exercise my voice in this way. In the past year, I received hate mail and a death threat from white supremacists for blog posts like this ― blog posts that are, let’s be honest, fairly insignificant expressions of personal opinion from a person with very little power. I am not a threat. And yet people have threatened me ― and my family ― for expressing my view that we should build a world in which all human beings can live freely in the wholeness of their identities. I fear that this kind of intimidation will only increase in the event of a Trump victory. I fear that it will worsen tomorrow ― as soon as I hit send ― if Trump supporters are emboldened in their aggression towards people with whom they disagree. And yet the only thing that makes me feel safe in this moment ― as I stare into the face of a possible of a Trump victory ― is to speak up and speak out, and to invite others to do the same.
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
what happens tomorrow...
So today is the BIG election
there has been so much hoopla
there has been hate
there has been unity
now we are in the countdown
the homestretch
the last hours until the decision is made
there has been indescribable build up
but my thought today is
what happens tomorrow
this 2016 election has been one unlike any others
this campaigning has changed for the worst the way politics is viewed
it has changed the way Americans feel
this election has brought out the good
but more of the bad
America was struggling before the election
This great country has a history built on division and hate and separatism
for years some Americans have tried to grow, some have tried to heal
others have turned the blind eye
others have quieted their hate
this election ripped the bandaid back off
this election put the conversation back into the current initiative
and so I wonder tomorrow after the new President is elected
then what...
some will cry foul
many will grumble and everyone will have an opinion
but then what
will America be great again
what does that look like
does "great" mean a place where all are welcome and all are embraced
does "great" mean the division between the various classes becomes more evident
does "great" mean having a leader who is compassionate to the people
does "great" mean a leader who runs the country like a business , devoid of emotion and empathy
I don't have the answer to any of that
but I do know
tomorrow will come
tomorrow either another Clinton or a Trump will be elected
life will go on
changes will be made
and the one good thing to come out of tomorrow is that...
campaigning will end
and the next narrative will begin
there has been so much hoopla
there has been hate
there has been unity
now we are in the countdown
the homestretch
the last hours until the decision is made
there has been indescribable build up
but my thought today is
what happens tomorrow
this 2016 election has been one unlike any others
this campaigning has changed for the worst the way politics is viewed
it has changed the way Americans feel
this election has brought out the good
but more of the bad
America was struggling before the election
This great country has a history built on division and hate and separatism
for years some Americans have tried to grow, some have tried to heal
others have turned the blind eye
others have quieted their hate
this election ripped the bandaid back off
this election put the conversation back into the current initiative
and so I wonder tomorrow after the new President is elected
then what...
some will cry foul
many will grumble and everyone will have an opinion
but then what
will America be great again
what does that look like
does "great" mean a place where all are welcome and all are embraced
does "great" mean the division between the various classes becomes more evident
does "great" mean having a leader who is compassionate to the people
does "great" mean a leader who runs the country like a business , devoid of emotion and empathy
I don't have the answer to any of that
but I do know
tomorrow will come
tomorrow either another Clinton or a Trump will be elected
life will go on
changes will be made
and the one good thing to come out of tomorrow is that...
campaigning will end
and the next narrative will begin
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