Insomnia

Hello All!
So last night while I was afflicted with INSOMNIA a few thoughts were bouncing through my head
#1 I was so thirsty and wanted some orange juice from downstairs...but going down two flights was holding me back plus I would have had to brush my teeth again...so I laid in bed parched
#2...while I was up wide awake Jordan and her daddy were besides me KNOCKED out..sometime around the 230AM hour when he stirred..she stirred and seemingly enough she cuted her way into our bed where she proceeded to stretch out and take up as MUCH space as her little butt could..
#3 as I looked at my comfy snoring child I thought I remember the days when she was small enough to lay on my chest and sleep and now the little nugget is so big she wants arms above her head and feet on her dad
#4 my buddy Ben is down in FLETC and of all the thoughts I could have about FLETC all I could think about was FLETC GRILLED CHEESE...I was so jealous because they have the best thing going with those sandwiches....sigh
#5..I trolled Facebook instagram and pinterest for a tad before finally trying to get a few more winks

Soooo my first blog back may not have been deep and sentimental but its a warm up.....

Mrs A Janelle Crump

The allure of vampires

So I am a fan of the twilight series! Am I a TWI-hard? Not sure! I do try to go the first day but I'm not camping out on a curb waiting
But from an adults analysis and a woman-i began to think what the allure and interest is in vampires and shows like Twilight and Vampire Diaries
From a fundamental level I think it boils down to this-the idea and the fantasy that we will meet and fall in love with our SOULMATE and live happily ever after without all the real life distractions and interruptions
That somehow LOVE and LOVE ALONE can conquer all and LOVE is all it takes
To an extent its true-its one part of the pie-but the realists know there are other parts of the pie
But Twilight and vampires feed on our ever dreamy and wishful dream of being young beautiful and forever in LOVE
To think there is a man who is so gorgeous and so undescribably devoted to JUST us
To have someone who is romantic 24/7 always willing to defend our honor and make our hearts melt with a simple look
Its no different from reading a romance novel
Is it an escape from reality ? I'm sure a bit-i would like to think just like as a kid watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory and Polar Express.....its an appeal to the very small part of us that believes in.....fairytales and happily ever after
So the next time u laugh @ the twlight and vampire diaries lovers....TRUE BLOOD is an exception based on the tasty other elements and we all watch it for the OTHER elements
Just realize its not the teeny bopper aspect that appeals its the theme and dream of LOVE of SOULMATES and who hasn't at one time or another wondered about THE ONE or if they'd be with their SOULMATE for ever
Or does reality leave us with someone who may not be perfect but perfect for us and still amazing
Would we love the vampires if there was no happy ending???
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Completely Random

I hate to interrupt anyone who is celebrating this silly HALLMARK holiday and NO I'm not bitter because I'm home alone with the minime-i just think I'm off the bandwagon!
I'm all for holidays and trust me I got a GREAT gift-BUT I know RC loves me everyday
NOW for my RANDOMNESS

Can someone tell me *seriously* what the HELL is in Captain Crunch cereal that erodes the roof of your mouth? I just had some and then brushed my teeth and did my Listerine rinse and I swear the top of my mouth is SIZZLING!

Is it the sugar? I guarantee that was my LAST bowl!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

PHILOSOPHY-UNCONDITIONAL LOVE-Todays thoughts on marriage

I wrote a blog yesterday and didn't send it out but then today I got some inspiration and some thoughts from my PHILOSOPHY shampoo/bodywash....crazy how sometimes when we slow down and open our eyes we can receive messages
So here is a thought on UNCONDITIONAL LOVE which is a amazing fragrance from the philosophy line
Once upon a time, there was a person who swore they would love you forever. Their love moved on, but your love stayed in the same place. Consider the opportunity to love the greatest of all blessings, even when love doesn't go your way. The love you give is the love you get, and it is all good no matter where love takes you. Let the ability to love another belong to you forever and ever because real love stories never end

Do you all have unconditional love for who you are with now? Have you had it for someone else before? Or is your love indeed CONDITIONAL?

NOW HERE ARE MY YESTERDAY THOUGHTS......

I was sitting here thinking marriage or even relationships are like wine or expensive liquor
They get better with time
They start off cheap like that 4$ bottle and just get better and better
Why do I say that? Well I have concluded the first year is all fluff and ideals and fantasies but its the subsequent years and its once you have put in time that you experienced life together
Its going through good and bad that makes you see someone for who and what they are
Its going through sickness and family events
Its being broke its needing to lean on them that show you what they and you are made of
Its seeing their responses that make you fall over and over and in most cases you feel even more confident in your choice

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Another Day..Another thought

I am going to stop stealing my topics from THEDAILYLOVE after today…I can’t help it..the topics are so thought provoking and I was getting them every day and they lead me to have thoughts on my way to work about life..about love about relationships

 

I don’t proclaim to be a relationship expert, but I can talk about my experiences..my loves..my losses.. what I have learned and what I think…

Every woman and every man are different…there are some consistencies and similarities but I would never place a wager on human behavior..there are way too many variables

 

What works for one may or may not work for another…ultimately my best advice in life is to follow your gut…make decisions based upon your dreams and your realities….if you can live with it then do it…step outside your level of comfort sometimes..date someone you might not ordinarily date..do something you might not ordinarily do….to grow is to change…

 

 

So below is the daily thought/blog from THE DAILY LOVE…I'm really feeling the message…because sometimes we do have to let go…let go of OUR plan..let go of what we have in our heads..in order for good things to happen..sometimes we hold onto something so tight..that we miss the magic….things change..and I do agree that sometimes let it go and if it comes back it was meant to be…or maybe some other author comes to write a chapter in your life..maybe they will be the author that writes your HAPPILY ever after….you never know..but you certainly won’t know if you are holding to tight to what you can never ever control….you can control you and that’s it….

 

Anyhow here is the DAILY LOVE thought

 

Some of the things I REALLY wanted to happen in my life and I prayed and prayed to happen, just didn't happen. Sometimes the greatest acts of Grace are unanswered prayers. If you are so attached to a certain outcome that it gives you pain, anxiety and worry - that is a sign that your thoughts are not aligned with the Will for The Uni-verse in your life. When you experience stress, anxiety and worry - those are thoughts based in fear and fear is not what we've come to be. When we detach, when we let go, when we allow something even greater to be that we didn't see coming - THAT - is how we step into a miraculous life. I could have never imagined my life ten years ago being what it is today - not even three years ago. I had my plans, my intentions and my desires and most of them didn't come true. And now I'm glad. I'm glad that certain prayers weren't answered. I'm glad that certain people said no to me. I'm glad that things are going the way that they are because it's beyond my wildest dreams.

I know you work hard; we all do. But today - is there a person, a situation or a prayer that you can just surrender? And allow The Uni-verse to show you a way that you had not yet considered? Can you see this moment as perfect? Can you see this moment as full of everything you need? Do you have the courage and humility to let go? If so, a world of magic is waiting for you. It's one thing to be a part of the rat race, but I prefer to be pushed by angels

 

 

 

april janelle

"Let go of the things you fear to lose. Die to your attachments. Free yourself from everything you think you are and embrace the truth that you are abundant, eternal, fearless and worth being loved."

 

- Jackson Kiddard, author and polymath.

 

 

why we date at the level of our self esteem

So I want to dedicate this blog today to my other half..the one that shares my brain and my heart..and right now she is my she-ro *however corny that may sound*

before I get into my blog and this all does tie into the initial blog from the other day

BUT my girl is strong and confident and embodies so many elements that other women should...

i got an email from one of my sites..its called THE DAILY LOVE and it usually provides a good thought or some good quotes in regards to love and such

and today's topic was WHY WE DATE AT THE LEVEL OF OUR SELF-ESTEEM

i saw this and was like WOW...and after reading it and I will attach it at the bottom of my blog..I thought HOW TRUE and HOW APPROPRIATE IT THIS

i am not judging anyone and their relationship and the decisions they make

I WAS blown away though at the grace and strength of my pretty who decided to take charge and control her life and the 4 year relationship she was in...He was not on the same page and instead of falling victim to just "staying around" my girl got up brushed herself off and with grace and dignity and her head held VERY DAMN HIGH ...she walked away...she gave him the opportunity to make right...she gave him time to talk reflect and reassess but at the end she knew what she wanted and what she stood and stands for and so she closed that chapter....

I think its often too hard for people to "walk away" even if we know its the BEST thing for us to do..YES it hurts and yes its sometimes safer to safe...but do you ever really accomplish things in life by playing it "safe"!!!!

My girl is SUCH a rock star right now....which leads to me to another point...so she met another guy and this one so far is FABULOUS..and its just right...because here is my thing..we can't CHANGE anyone but ourselves...and when you meet someone and the timing is right and the person is in the right place..it just is smooth....this guy is in the right place and he is ready for all the things my girl is

TIMING is everything...when a man or woman are ready and in that spot they are in that spot...you cant force someone to be there...

when i met my hubs...he was in that place and it became a natural step vs fighting or pleading or convincing...

So to my girl..you make me proud and you set an example to your younger sisters and some other women who know you

its not easy but with everything else in life..we take it ONE STEP AT A TIME

HERE IS THE BLOG

We date at the level of our self-esteem. Your relationship is a direct reflection of your own self-love and self-worth.

A lot of TDL Seekers have written in saying that they are in a relationship (dating, marriage, etc.) with someone who they really are into, but they are not getting their needs met. They keep asking me how they have to change to keep the relationship going.

Pause.

Let me be clear - the only way we should have to change is to be more authentically ourselves. This means compromise, of course, but this also means not abandoning ourselves to please another.

The common question seems to be: "How can I change myself so this will work", and the response is "Don't change yourself - BE YOURSELF".

Many Seekers are terrified of being alone and of the unknown. And I understand, it can be hella uncomfortable in there. But if your needs aren't being met in a relationship, it's not the other persons fault. The responsibility is on you to communicate your needs and to choose someone who honors you, cherishes you and loves you.

If you don't love, honor and cherish yourself, you will settle and your needs won't get met.

To be a Seeker we must get comfortable with the unknown and with letting go of toxic relationships. We must step into the Faith that we can create the life we truly desire, not as we change to please others, but as we step more into our own authentic selves. This means communicating our needs, having higher standards around the people we are dating and stepping into our own self-love and self-care.

Of course in any relationship we have to compromise and find a middle ground. This is part of being in relationship. But this blog is aimed at the thousands of folks who have written in asking how they can change to please other people. Please yourself first and then you will attract someone who is pleased with you.

This means embracing the unknown and being okay with letting go of something or someone that isn't meeting your needs.

Ask yourself this question: "If I REALLY loved myself, what would I do?"

Response to a Facebook Post of a highly influential person

So a very wise man posted the following on his FACEBOOK page and yes it’s long but I think it’s worth reading..10 years ago I would have read something like this and argued and gotten upset and thought that can’t be true and I would have looked at this through my rose colored naïve and fairytale glasses and tried to “fix” him. Now as a good and grown woman who has lived some life had some good and some bad…I find MUCH of this post very true…Since this is long..today I will share the post and tomorrow I will continue to respond…I truly believe that we do not want to deal with REALITY –we want to think that some of these things are not true and very true they might not speak for ALL but I can say I agree with the 14 points made in this post. So read it..think about it..think about it with some real honesty and I will discuss it more tomorrow!

 

 

 

 

I'm a bit more unfiltered in 2012 :-)

--I’ve recognized that a few of the thoughts I have concerning Women of the world may seem a bit controversial to some when shared via Facebook, but the point missed is that generally what I say is shared amongst guys during out intellectual yet poignant deep meeting of the minds type conversations! lol (Yeah that made me laugh too). Here’s a few thoughts to consider Ladies that run through Triggs’ head when I browse posts on FaceBook: 1. There is no such thing as a good or bad guy – We are all (or have the potential to be) Dogs! We are all out (initially <= keyword) for the same thing => The Va Jay Jay! You all get confused cause some of the routes/methods used to get you seem ‘good’ or ‘bad’. 2. Nothing you do will prevent a guy from cheating!! Cause him to cheat? Well now that’s a different story, but no matter what you do or say the final decision is His. Being that we are visual, logical and instinct driven creatures your only recourse is to paint a picture for from which we’ll decide not to cheat <= meaning what are you bringing to the table? What are you offering that outweighs our desire to stray? Your ‘pros’ to trump the ‘cons’ of him cheating. 3. The number of children a Woman has directly affects her chances of getting a guy to settle down with her regardless of the ten children a guy may have. Yeah its unfair, but that’s life and life is… Well you know that rest. The affect is lessened by how well that same woman is able to manage without a Man’s help, BUT it get amplified the more she TELLS a guy that she doesn’t need a Man to manage <= we aren’t blind, let you actions speak for themselves. 4. Any woman with the term “TEAM-Whatever” as a part of their user/screen name may as well have the label “TEAM-ForeverSingle” or “Team-DesperatelyWantingToBeSomeoneTheirNot”. The same could be said about the ‘Barbie’ phenomenon <= You look like a clown and will get treated as such. 5. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLACK AND WHITE WOMEN!! “White Girl Drunk” and “The Angry Black Woman” are fallacies. Trying to outdo the other with crazy sex acts or dog another race with assumptions does not present them in a bad light as you intend, instead it takes away from yourself. It’s is environmental not cultural. There are STRONG and WEAK women with a few that fall into a gray area => In the end you’re all pink on the inside! 6. Bad experiences happen to everyone – GET OVER YOURSELF!! You chose the guy/situation, so the blame lies with the one you see in the mirror. Learn from the experience – become wiser => choose to evolve instead of becoming a bitter complaint ridden person. So long as you are/were genuine and gave yourself fully to the situation/person there should be no regrets only growth for the next person to rejoice in. 7. Describing yourself as THICK and… SLIM and… DIVA this… FABULOUS that is prequalifying what should be something that’s self-evident. Self-confidence is a wonderful character trait, but just because I say I’m a millionaire unfortunately doesn’t make it so. BE the best YOU and we’ll determine what we see. Begin with CONFIDENCE <= regardless of your size/age/color/station in life everything else will fall into place. 8. The more you use a term like “WIFEY” the less likely you’ll actually become someone’s WIFE! 9. Which bring me to my next thought: Guys (generally speaking) get married for a REASON rather than for LOVE. <= yeah that sounds bad, but the truth usually does. 10. TRUTH <= As Jack Nicholson stated, “Y’all can’t handle it!!” Let me rephrase... You all can handle your version of the truth => meaning what you want/choose to hear/believe. 11. Whether you were raised with 30 brothers, have 100 best male friends, watched every Tyler Perry movie or read every Steve Harvey book/Cosmopolitan relationship article => YOU DON’T KNOW HOW GUYS REALLY ARE!!! 12. What’s with all of the Tattoos?? Despite what you hear in comparison there is nothing more attractive than the all-natural beauty of a woman. A few tatts here and there maybe, but I’d doubt anyone would put bumper stickers from front to rear on a Lamborghini… or? What are you hiding from? Trying to cover up? Improve upon? A guy sees that and think, “Wow, she’s nuts – crazy girls are wild – I gotta get her => just for the night!” 13. Attractive women need to realize you aren’t as interesting as you think you are!! Our interest will wane just as quickly as your looks do (will). What you LEAD with is how you will get treated… Don’t get me wrong I like looking at a nice picture, but if that’s all you have to offer expect to be treated like that very Beauty that draws guys in <= Temporary and fleeting. 14. THE MORE YOU DON’T NEED US = THE MORE WE WANT YOU!! Plain and F—king simple. You lead by example with your accomplishments, requirements and if we’re smart we’ll follow – if not move the *bleep* on!

Sent from my HTC on the Now Network from Sprint!

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Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.

Erica Jong