So I want to dedicate this blog today to my other half..the one that shares my brain and my heart..and right now she is my she-ro *however corny that may sound*
before I get into my blog and this all does tie into the initial blog from the other day
BUT my girl is strong and confident and embodies so many elements that other women should...
i got an email from one of my sites..its called THE DAILY LOVE and it usually provides a good thought or some good quotes in regards to love and such
and today's topic was WHY WE DATE AT THE LEVEL OF OUR SELF-ESTEEM
i saw this and was like WOW...and after reading it and I will attach it at the bottom of my blog..I thought HOW TRUE and HOW APPROPRIATE IT THIS
i am not judging anyone and their relationship and the decisions they make
I WAS blown away though at the grace and strength of my pretty who decided to take charge and control her life and the 4 year relationship she was in...He was not on the same page and instead of falling victim to just "staying around" my girl got up brushed herself off and with grace and dignity and her head held VERY DAMN HIGH ...she walked away...she gave him the opportunity to make right...she gave him time to talk reflect and reassess but at the end she knew what she wanted and what she stood and stands for and so she closed that chapter....
I think its often too hard for people to "walk away" even if we know its the BEST thing for us to do..YES it hurts and yes its sometimes safer to safe...but do you ever really accomplish things in life by playing it "safe"!!!!
My girl is SUCH a rock star right now....which leads to me to another point...so she met another guy and this one so far is FABULOUS..and its just right...because here is my thing..we can't CHANGE anyone but ourselves...and when you meet someone and the timing is right and the person is in the right place..it just is smooth....this guy is in the right place and he is ready for all the things my girl is
TIMING is everything...when a man or woman are ready and in that spot they are in that spot...you cant force someone to be there...
when i met my hubs...he was in that place and it became a natural step vs fighting or pleading or convincing...
So to my girl..you make me proud and you set an example to your younger sisters and some other women who know you
its not easy but with everything else in life..we take it ONE STEP AT A TIME
HERE IS THE BLOG
We date at the level of our self-esteem. Your relationship is a direct reflection of your own self-love and self-worth.
A lot of TDL Seekers have written in saying that they are in a relationship (dating, marriage, etc.) with someone who they really are into, but they are not getting their needs met. They keep asking me how they have to change to keep the relationship going.
Pause.
Let me be clear - the only way we should have to change is to be more authentically ourselves. This means compromise, of course, but this also means not abandoning ourselves to please another.
The common question seems to be: "How can I change myself so this will work", and the response is "Don't change yourself - BE YOURSELF".
Many Seekers are terrified of being alone and of the unknown. And I understand, it can be hella uncomfortable in there. But if your needs aren't being met in a relationship, it's not the other persons fault. The responsibility is on you to communicate your needs and to choose someone who honors you, cherishes you and loves you.
If you don't love, honor and cherish yourself, you will settle and your needs won't get met.
To be a Seeker we must get comfortable with the unknown and with letting go of toxic relationships. We must step into the Faith that we can create the life we truly desire, not as we change to please others, but as we step more into our own authentic selves. This means communicating our needs, having higher standards around the people we are dating and stepping into our own self-love and self-care.
Of course in any relationship we have to compromise and find a middle ground. This is part of being in relationship. But this blog is aimed at the thousands of folks who have written in asking how they can change to please other people. Please yourself first and then you will attract someone who is pleased with you.
This means embracing the unknown and being okay with letting go of something or someone that isn't meeting your needs.
Ask yourself this question: "If I REALLY loved myself, what would I do?"
