Monday Mayhem

So it’s the start of the week

 

I woke up and did my usual self check

 

Do I have a sore throat?

 

Do I have a Fever?

 

Do I have the flu?

 

Is it a federal holiday?

 

Etc etc! I do all these before I open my eyes just to be sure it’s a necessity to get up for work J

 

So I roll out of bed-sigh and decide to get the day started

 

After all-Tuesday I have an all day conference which only leaves Wednesday and Thursday to work!

 

So I had a fabulous weekend-tried the deep fried beer battered burger from Tune Inn (I think) from Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

And as much as I love fried food it was NOT all that-I mean I have no urge to get there again this weekend or next week

And before anyone passes out from a coronary the burger was not big at all (I ate my part in 3-4 bites) AND I split it with DH!

 

 

I already discussed the flesh fest aka FAMU vs Howard game-I may convert to Muslim when I have kids so they can rock a Burkha and not show everyone all their goodies and crotch-age and Victoria secret –Secrets!

 

I feel old-when did modesty over take me-when did I start going to a football game with my tank top tucked in my underwear and a belt and a long tee shirt over and since when did 18 year old guys really start looking like boys and not appealing to me

 

Yesterday I spent the day with my God sister and took her to eat and to get our feet done -which ALL I will say is that there are things in Nail salons and there are people with feet that I don’t EVER want to see again-what I saw yesterday scarred me for LIFE-I was telling my Kel’s about it and I think we both must have thrown up twice

 

I digressed but I also went to PACERS to be fit for some new running shoes so I can get back out on the trails and get back to my fitness thing

Yes I am lucky I am long and lean and I know how long I can slack off of physical exercise before the CHANGES start to occur and I think I am at the end of my time so it’s back to the hard work

 

I always appreciate people who are not necessarily all about their bodies but who are willing to find that extra time to keep their body looking nice

 

I always feel like I look better naked –the brown suit rocks BUT I know I do what I have to do to get it to look that way

 

Sooo starting today-its back to a little sweat and a lot of mirror time!

 

 

 

FAMU vs HOWARD

So here I am at the FAMU va Howard game and I do love black college football games-and I already indulged in yummy diabetic iced tea and ribs and fries and wings
Now the highlights-the hoochie mamma spirit dancer chicks who have SO much weave and are popping it SO hard its unbelievable!
The guy in front of me is the old head who is running his mouth with inaccuracies and such and no one is listening and he is a repeater and just loud
Sigh-lets see I do feel old or either these kids look extra young and small
Further if God graces me with a daughter I will ensure over my beating heart that she is not out and about traipsing with her crotch nearly out
Sigh and additionally if you are the thick and it girl wear appropriate-er clothing!

Oh and the names-all I can say is my Moms Ellen and Muriel would be utterly pissed

Ok to be continued
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And so the torture begins

So its wednesday and I am in a mandatory all day conference

Its in the city at one of DCs theaters
So I arrived fashionably late and so therefore unlike at church when you squeeze in the back I'm in the freakin FRONT-which completely negates my plan to read my books and rock out with my ipod
However-the key to life is to always have a contingency plan so mine is to somehow someway escape and return home for a day of leisure

What is this guy talking about

Sigh is this what I have to look forward to? I sure called it
Bad humor behind a mic
Sigh ok this is tragic
People write speeches and clearly write in *pause* or *crowd awww*

Oh he is discussing bad employee behavior
Must be a lot of sexual harassment going on! People still do that?
Married people-act like it-ie affairs
He just said the job is not a nightclub
Ha
Ok signing out
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Sunday Smiles

so i want to dedicate this blog to REAL men-

i will define REAL man as men who are not afraid to express their love-REAL men are men who treat their woman with respect and adoration

REAL men KNOW their woman

My other Mommy is always saying that we as women need to know OUR man-and I want to say on the flip side a REAL man KNOWS his woman

I am a foodie-there is no way to hide that and not to say that food is always the answer and the way to my heart but for things that are not a huge blow out-food is a way back in-everyone knows it

feed me and i am happy

my Joshy always says how mean and nasty i can potentially get when I am hungry- ;)

So my DH today stopped by my favorite store and he asked me what i wanted and even though i flip flopped and my list grew and grew

HE knows his woman and he came home with all my requested treats AND as a bonus he steamed some king crab legs in tasty beer and he delivered it all to me with a side of clarified butter and extra seasoning on the side

what can one say after that but DAMN I LOVE THAT MAN

that's a REAL man-he is not about the games-he knows...

I attended my cousin's Happy Hour/Baby Shower yesterday and it was coed but it was cool and what i loved the most was sitting around with all the other married couples who all had different years invested and just realizing how lovely marriage is

no one is perfect and there is no perfect marriage NOR relationship but when people are committed to working and growing it makes all the difference

the level of respect a couple has for one another is often an easy aspect to observe

the couple that constantly steals smiles and touches and kisses-they know the secret

they know not to sweat the small stuff and at the end of the day what you say and do DOES affect the other and i think the truly smart couples watch their words-NOT as a means of not expressing themselves but realizing that if you choose to use harsh words it hurts the other person and how can you LOVE this person and yet consciously hurt them

you CANT

i am always amazed at some of the stories i hear about things that transpire in other relationships-my besty and i are always shocked at the gall of some people

and i know its easy to say what you will and wont stand for

BUT i know for April Janelle at the end of the day I have to be able to live and love myself and if someone is constantly beating me down verbally or through their thoughtlessness then I would have to re-evaluate where i am and why

i have been pretty lucky in relationships in my opinion compared to some BUT i also think i am a catch-my Mom raised a lady and not just a female

i am a lady-a woman-and i carry myself as such

therefore a man who wants to dwell in my midst must be a REAL man-not a boy-a MAN

i am not in high school and i dont have time for games

when i met my husband i loved that he was about his business-he knew what he wanted and he wasn't about to play games

we met-we meshed-and he knew what i was and therefore he saw no need in dragging out the process

funny as i write the song CHANTES GOT A MAN is playing and it speaks so true-men are not all the same

and anyone who says men are all the same do not have a REAL man

REAL men bring more smiles than headaches

REAL men make things clear-not ambiguous

REAL men put you first not last

REAL men know how to balance and prioritize

REAL men make your knees weak not your brow turn up

REAL men can be counted on without a shadow of a doubt

REAL men are there to kiss the hurt away

REAL men dont always need to be asked

the list goes on and on-I am glad i have a REAL man in my life-

it makes a REAL woman even easier

Saturday shenanigans

After sleeping late like an unproductive unemployed college kid I got up and went to target to get a baby shower gift
Fyi the baby section and registry and endless aisles of stuff that all looks alike boggles me
But alas after wandering around for 30 minutes plus I was done until came time for gift bags-SIGH-headache this is why you shop online and pay for gift wrap
So then my poor drained body said McDonalds but my fatty ass said NO
So I went to smoothie king and lucked up on the bomb parking spot only to discover on my return it was handicap-ha no wonder it was empty
Oh well no ticket-my freebie of the day
And I cross back into DC I can't help how little hood kids are just different
They happily romp shirtless and ashy
They play with imaginary toys and friends
Gotta love it now hood neighbors not so much
Always outside-as if they have no agenda no purpose no J O B just always around- I mean at least have a nice yard or house! And for the life of me folks-WHY do some people down the street grill in their front yard-WTH!

Ok shutting it down those are my saturday shenanigans
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1 more hour/15 minutes/oh wait 11 minutes now

OK  I finally have some inspiration

I do not  what type of parent I will BUT my DH and I were talking briefly yesterday and I am going to attempt with every fiber in me to NOT be the parent that does the baby voice all the time

 

My coworker is 40 and granted she just had a baby but she does not know how to turn the voice off and she does it all the time and to everyone

 

Most days I reach for my headphones because she does it and she also does that 6 year old princess pout which really made me just re-evaluate the whining I might do from time to time.

 

I do not want to be 40 and sound like that

 

So on a funny note-me and my ash phobic self used my baby oil gel this morning and no I didn’t use a lot but I used and I put on a cute v neck and my “Pamela Anderson” bra (ok mild-well huge exaggeration) but in any event-I know I hit rock bottom when 10 minutes ago after eating a bag of my favorite chips I happen to look down the caverns and see a ton of chips dust stuck to my skin

 

 

So it is my last day of work of the week and I look forward to sleeping in and lounging in my robe tomorrow

 

I recently got a nice life insurance policy with state farm so now the nurse has to come out draw blood AND collect urine and of course she wants to come today and of course she told me to not eat anything else

I told her about my baby veins and I did not like her response-her tone was like “ok your point”

 

This lady better be warm and fuzzy or I am not having it!

 

 

1more hour and 15 minutes !

 

Oh and for my adoration of food section-I marinated some lamb chops in a little ginger, some garlic, five-spice, soy sauce, and a drizzle of honey

Oh and a kick of cayenne and I roasted them last night-I was very pleasantly surprised! Although at the moment I am craving some potato corn chowder-yum!

 

 

 

HUMP DAY

So last night my dh went to work to do a training for the night shift folks-hencethereforth leaving me and the no good dog bella home alone. So while I made every attempt to be nice sleep when he left-I was awakened by the light and the other shuffling around

 

10:20pm-still awake-

ME: Bella did you hear that noise

Bella: *rolls over and sighs extremely loud

ME: good for nothing Bella

 

 

11ish: next door neighbor dog barking like crazy

(Me-jumping up to look out the window)

Just a cat

 

EVEN later-A/C kicks on- at this point I’m terrified-don’t get me wrong I have lived alone-although when I did I had a gun might I add-last night I felt vulnerable and terrified

 

EVEVN EVEN Later-another noise-I peek over to look at my rugrat-she has now turned and has her pack to me

*I debate whether to barricade the door*

 

4:40AM-alarm goes off!

Me: I made it I made it!

Run to the bathroom-lock the door-take long shower-take my time lotioning in case someone is waiting for me-

Come out the bathroom-Bella is still sleep-take a deep breath

 

Get dressed-go slowly downstairs-silently cursing DH for leaving me home alone with his bratty dog and YES I said HIS

 

Let her out quickly-and run out the door to work- deep sigh- I made it

 

End of the saga!

 

Then I’m driving to work and there must have been a cab convention on the parkway and they were all driving oh I’d say 45 mph-REALLY folks REALLY!

 

I do my best Dale E-impression and go around THEN there is the ultimate child abductor van-complete with bad paint job comes and cuts me off

I wanted to curse-BUT I did not

Instead I just kicked back and listened to new edition-when will I see you smile (I think that is the name)

 

 

And now I am here and tomorrow is my FRIDAY!!!!!

 

So it’s a celebration B’s!!!!!!!!!!