Me...honest and raw....me happy...me sad....me talking about love..me talking about life...me
Monday, May 9, 2016
Magnificent Monday in May
Well folks here we are again, the start of another week
what does that REALLY mean
do you start your week on Sunday like a calendar week or do you consider your week to begin on Monday when businesses and work resume
just a thought
do you begin your week with grand plans and ideas...eating better, getting more sleep, exercising, being nicer, better attitude
how does that work out for you?
if you stumble on Monday at 8:55 do you think say the week is shot or do you say tomorrow is a new day, a new chance, a new beginning
do you wait for BIG resets or do you look at each day or each moment as a chance to course correct and begin again
my two cents
why wait for the big reset
why wait until NEXT week
why wait until LATER
if you have a bad day of eating you can always get back on track for the next meal
or you can own it and say today is just NOT the day
I think part of the WHETHER TO CORRECT NOW OR LATER has to come from compassion and understanding AND also are you holding yourself to YOUR standard or someone else's
while that only applies to some situations, I think it applies to many
As I look at the many influences in the world today
I think we place unrealistic expectations on how we should be, what we should be, and what we should be doing
we look around at others to gauge our success or often times what we deem as failures
instead of realizing maybe just maybe we are all doing the best we can do at that very moment
how does that tie in with the why wait or wait...
well I think my point was just to say on this Monday no matter where you are no matter how you feel
whether you had a Monday and were on "fire" as Jord likes to say or whether you are counting down til its wine o'clock
just take it in stride...later may be better..tomorrow may be better too..just know this moment does not define you and if the moment is AMAZING ride that energy as long as you can and when you find yourself in a low energy moment think back to that HIGH and put a smile back on your face
Monday, May 2, 2016
Blog-a-licious
so i am sitting here with my "opportunist" 4 year old...its storming out and of course to ensure she gets cuddles and a night of sleeping with mommy she has planted the seed of being afraid and "not wanting to sleep alone" Toddler WIN..Parent LOSS
my funniest moment of the day...my darling adorable nieces were apparently having the best day with their day and he had a totally new appreciation for how hard his wife works daily with them
i can JUST imagine the voice of my 3 year old niece who is incredible smart and vocal..I can picture her giving her Dad instructions and her opinion because that is what granddaughters of educators do..they are smart and smarty pants-y
speaking of free entertainment...my child post shower tonight has her pajamas shorts hiked so far that it cannot be comfortable AND she has her undershirt tucked in..hmmmm and while i type she is singing "winner winner chicken dinner"...note to self do not teach her anymore annoying sounds or sayings
as this impending Mother's Day..I just have a whole new appreciation for my Mom and all of her love and support and prayers to make me who and what I am today ..
short blog but hey something is better than nothing :)
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
While eating Little Bites...
let me start by saying I am not necessarily a slacker BUT there is something about the combination of your boss being out coupled with an 89 degree day that makes the average person well lets just say focused elsewhere
My morning started with the usual amount of shenanigans on behalf of my TERRIFIC daughter...Me: Jord get out the bed or we will be late Jord: it's too cold out the bed, my eyes are cold Me: *blank stare*
So to say my day started with laughter was an understatement and did I mention by the time I got to work it was already 74 degrees, PRIME picking for utter mental distraction
Sans my boss I was unstoppable...
Anyhow-work was great-it's always a TERRIFIC time when my days are not spent in meetings all day
This past weekend my Josh showed me this candle and the title captivated me MANLY INDULGENCE
That kind of name intrigued me and so I had to check out the candles...the one that I got was called appropriately SUIT and TIE
I am a woman who loves descriptives words and painting a picture and image with adjectives
when this candle arrived and i smelled this candle ..... *lets just pause
SUIT and TIE
when you close your eyes and allow your senses to truly take this aroma in...just WOW
you picture a man, one not anything less than dapper
you visualize a man with a fresh shave and shiny shoes
you picture a gentleman, well groomed in not only his appearance but his behavior
you picture a man who holds doors and pulls out chairs
you picture your quintessential GUY when you smell SUIT and TIE
Now that Josh has opened that door I cant wait to smell the other scents: Bachelor Pad (maybe not so much this one), Ivy League, Midnight (definitely this one), Last Call, of course Black Tuxedo, Fresh Shave, and 5 O'clock shadow...
I dont know about you but my sense of smell is one of my most powerful and favorite...it invokes memories and memories are lasting
Scent (albeit I am referring to good scents) lingers and scent is :
-the most powerful memory trigger
-a woman's scent tells more about her than her handwriting
-can be like a drug
-is all about trying to communicate emotion
I have so many favorite scents..too many to list...although my favorite scent just like my favorite memory and my favorite everything is....the smell of Christmas...the pine, the spices, the egg nog, anything and everything Christmasy....
ok i think today was two different thoughts...but hey my blog..my thoughts lol
laters
Monday, April 18, 2016
Such a beautiful day
but then broke up with my bed and began my morning...i spent some time with my creator studying and listening and learning....and after i felt at peace in my heart and soul...i went ahead and began getting ready to face the world...
my little was in great spirits this morning after a roller coaster weekend and we managed to get out the house not necessarily on time but not too far after...
along my morning ride i received my morning check-in from my other mother and I think that is honestly what set my day on a path of just wonderful surprises and special smiles...
Gigi Marigold (as coined by Jord) always greets me at just the right moment to inspire me, love me, and fill my day with new perspective.
As i think about it now looking over my day I have such amazing people in my life...my village...my A-team, my loving circle is SO incredibly dynamic..
It speaks to God and the type of people he knows I need in my life..I am in awe at the type of encouragement i get day by day...On the days when I may be in a slump I receive a text or just the right words..
My work partner in crime...she and I took nice walks outside today in nature and the weather was oh so perfect...
I am still at a loss for words but today was just a beautiful day..
full of love
full of warm sunshine
full of laughter
full of hope
full of joy
Mondays are generally a day that most people just try to "make it through"
but i floated through this Monday
I glided through it
I glowed through it...and whenever I wonder how and why my life is so sweet..I just think about the one I pray to and talk to and who guides me through each sweet sweet day and I am reminded what life is truly about
its not always the big thing
its not always the earth shattering fall to your knees things
life is good and life is sweet because of the love that we see and feel ...and often its wrapped in perfect small packages
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
frazzled...incomplete thoughts..ideas...
and then Monday came and went and there were no creative juices flowing
honestly today is not much different
i dont have any topics weighing heavily on my mind..
or maybe that's me being deceptive and just being unwilling to share
i go back and forth with wondering do i want my blog to be fun and upbeat and maybe sometimes positive and encouraging or do i want it to always be genuine and me
as i sit here...i could share how much i realized i don't like the early parts of dating
i can say now at 34 AND with a child and a 4 year old at that..dating gives me anxiety
i see how some people avoid it..i mean people avoid dating with no kids and you throw in a kid AND a girl at that with the current online, fast speed, creepy creepers lurking behind every corner and its just a dynamic that is DAUNTING and EXHAUSTING
I have traditionally dated safely as in I date guys that work with me or near me or somehow are connected to me so I know their backgrounds and I have a baseline understanding of who they are and what they could be
BUT in looking at my track record, that has not panned out to the perfect "happily ever after"
so they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results
so I am attempting to step out of my very safe comfort zone and try SOMETHING NEW *Kellee and Gigi might get a snicker out of this reference to the movie
BUT this go around I will be open to not dating someone who works where I work and someone who is different with a different background
maybe allowing some differences , while not fundamental ones, will add for new experiences and bonding on a level that i have no achieved before
not seeing someone at home and at work could open up doors to meeting new friends as well as different conversations
maybe dating outside of my comfort zone will force me to grow and learn more about myself
i ran into an old coworker today and she asked how my dating was going and i responded meh and she's like BUT look at you...and her response was that if she looked like me with my body she definitely would not have a problem meeting guys
so i love that people dont see me as a mudd duck BUT i realize anyone worth their salt and with substance is not just looking at the outward
#notetoselfNOonlinedating
sooo tonight that's all i got...nothing profound and not truly venting...just sharing where i am
nope don't want a pep talk
dont need to hear how great i am
dont need to hear that being single isnt so bad
save it all
ive heard it
i know it
grrrr
ok
Thursday, March 31, 2016
*exhales*
so its been awhile
that may even be an understatement
where to begin...what to say..what to share...
as authentic as i proclaim to be...there are times when i think i shut down my transparency
i am not sure how much of it is wounded puppy sitting alone licking its wounds vs that fear of people judging, saying i told you so, or even knowing just how i genuinely feel
or the times when i really dont have it all together
my mom has said it and i might agree with her especially of late
i am the person who will put that smile on her face no matter whats going on
i will smile through the sadness
i will smile through the struggles and even the hurt
no matter whats going on..i am going to try to smile
i dont know if i smile because "fake it til you make it"
or maybe i dont want anyone to worry about me
maybe i dont want to truly expose my vulnerability and at times frailty when i want to be perceived as "strong"
do i smile because i know eventually whatever is hurting will stop and my smile will be genuine again
do i smile so that no one will ask me if everything is okay
i dunno....probably a little bit of all the above
lately there have been peaks and valleys
life always is full of curves and straight aways
i think the past year has taught me that life is never going to be what you expect and you can only control so much and yet control nothing at all
there are only a few things in life that are guarantees and we all know what those are
what i have learned is that you have to keep going forward
you can't quit
on all the days when i want to sit and cry and scream how unfair things can be
i realize that's not an option
as much as i would love to stay on my couch in my magical robe
i know its not healthy
but its human
its human to want to retreat
to want to lick your wounds
to want a new strategy
its human to not have it all together
its human to not always be strong
its human to cry
its human to feel life and struggles are not always fair
its human to feel
its human to hurt
its human to not want to smile
so hello my name is April and i am a human
*this blog return was requested by KSN...you're welcome lol
*exhales*
that may even be an understatement
where to begin...what to say..what to share...
as authentic as i proclaim to be...there are times when i think i shut down my transparency
i am not sure how much of it is wounded puppy sitting alone licking its wounds vs that fear of people judging, saying i told you so, or even knowing just how i genuinely feel
or the times when i really dont have it all together
my mom has said it and i might agree with her especially of late
i am the person who will put that smile on her face no matter whats going on
i will smile through the sadness
i will smile through the struggles and even the hurt
no matter whats going on..i am going to try to smile
i dont know if i smile because "fake it til you make it"
or maybe i dont want anyone to worry about me
maybe i dont want to truly expose my vulnerability and at times frailty when i want to be perceived as "strong"
do i smile because i know eventually whatever is hurting will stop and my smile will be genuine again
do i smile so that no one will ask me if everything is okay
i dunno....probably a little bit of all the above
lately there have been peaks and valleys
life always is full of curves and straight aways
i think the past year has taught me that life is never going to be what you expect and you can only control so much and yet control nothing at all
there are only a few things in life that are guarantees and we all know what those are
what i have learned is that you have to keep going forward
you can't quit
on all the days when i want to sit and cry and scream how unfair things can be
i realize that's not an option
as much as i would love to stay on my couch in my magical robe
i know its not healthy
but its human
its human to want to retreat
to want to lick your wounds
to want a new strategy
its human to not have it all together
its human to not always be strong
its human to cry
its human to feel life and struggles are not always fair
its human to feel
its human to hurt
its human to not want to smile
so hello my name is April and i am a human
*this blog return was requested by KSN...you're welcome lol