A day late...but not short

Yesterday was blog day but somehow amidst my day of trying to calculate how I can generate some


extra vacation time and planning a birthday lunch for a colleague


I managed to not blog


I don't have a real topic so let's see what is on my mind


maybe I will just discuss what is going on with me in my world right now


I just returned from Detroit for a fast and furious weekend to celebrate my sisters' bridal luncheon


it's always good to go home


there is nothing like sleeping in my bed


YES I said MY bed


there is nothing like being under the roof with my parents


I feel like I can step out of my mommy role for a minute and just let loose drink wine


and be April


because after all from the moment Grampy picked Jord and I up from the airport


I recognize that it's all about her and they are there to love on her and indulge her


as grandparents do so well


Saturday I sat at the "family" table of the most beautiful women besides my Mom


although technically my Mom was at the table too


As a young woman growing up it is SO key to have the proper role models and mentors


they help guide you and influence you


I sat and looked at my two Moms and surrogate Aunts :Sabrina, Jennie, and Debbie


and thought wow this is the epitome of Essence magazine and beauty inside and out


these women oozed class and classic beauty and elegance


from their well put together appropriate ensembles to their care of themselves and the warmth and


obvious love of their family


leaving the luncheon yes I was excited about my sister's upcoming nuptials


but more than anything I walked away excited to be a woman and loving family


AND seeing women who are all aging yet not aging but doing so gracefully and so well


There were elements of all 5 women that I can weave into my life and into ME


Nothing is more empowering then seeing women who are strong and courageous and who have lived


life but not let life live them


despite different seasons and storms these pillars still are standing


standing with the awe inspiring womanliness that makes me proud to be a woman


Soooo to my Mom, my other Mom and my Aunts..


thank you for being excellent role models and showing me "how it's done"!

Tuesday thoughts

So I get that I'm a little late as usual on music however better late than never

and when it's good it's good

and when its REAL good music it will be good at release and a long time after

 I stumbled upon an album that I had a few songs from but had never listen to the whole thing in entirety 

 

 do you ever have that one album or listen to an album and all of a sudden  memories come rushing back 

 

and it's just one of those feel good albums that make you fall in love

 

 the kind that makes you think of love Jones

 

 when the movie first came out and that feeling that you had 

 

that first love emotion and excitement and newness 

 

 And those emotions and butterflies

 

 well if you have then you know what I'm talking about 

 

and if you have not then you need to get in touch with your emotions

 

 however I was just listening to John legends album (Love in the Future)

 

 and man talk about making you fall in love or want to fall in love 

still not sure how i only ever listened to 3 tracks from that album

this morning i listened from cover to cover

well worth it

Okay-happy Tuesday

All of me...

i started my morning off in a cloud of happiness

despite the grey clouds

looking beyond the inconsistent drizzle of rain

BUT I was happy

I was pensive, reflective, and happy

The reality of going to work was digestible

Found a great parking spot

parallel parked like a BOSS

skipped through puddles of happiness (and water)

all the way inside

my boss delivered some unexpected good news

think $$$$$

BUT right in the midst of my happy

i got pushed off my cloud of giddy

conflict arose

and just like any human

fight or flight kicked in

I dug my heels in

it's easy to go to that place

to hide

to retreat

but sometimes in the midst of conflict

you are reminded

and you refocus

of what is important

and what is not

coming out of that spot

is hard

it goes against our very nature

when our feelings are hurt

when people do not hear our perspective

when we feel our needs are not understood or even just respected

hurt people hurt people

but just like at the end of most good rainstorms

what emerges

but a rainbow

to bring back the smile

to flashback on the happy

to give hope

healing from the storm

and the reminder...


















Loves all of you...ajh

Where are we on "THE DREAM"...

Today we commemorate the life of Rev. Dr. (I can never remember which order those go in) Martin Luther King, Jr and I am greatly going to enjoy my day off...

But I will not take for granted the legacy he left behind, the seeds he planted, and the work that he left for us the next generations both black, white, red, yellow, and all colors in between to carry on

Today particularly on the cusp of the Inauguration of the Nations next President

A man who has propagated so much hate not only during his campaign but even post election

that it begs many to wonder what the next 4 years will look like for our country

Our country was not built on perfection, it was built on the backs of some and many toiled and slaved to simply have a voice

our country was built on divisive measures and segregating ideologies

and in 2017 it would be nirvana to think we have fixed the hurt and eradicated the pain

but we have not

hate and racism is a cancer that spreads into all areas no matter the color and no matter the socioeconomic standing

it is a very numbing not so subtle hand that continues to push and separate many

So today I ask Where are we on THE DREAM??

I think in some arenas we are living the dream

diversity is now a topic and a buzz word...whether it is truly being implemented is a secondary conversation unfortunately and while diversity now has become overly defined to incorporate many ideals that it was not originally birthed to include.... it is still a newly socialized concept

We just had for the past 8 years the first BROWN President of the United States

that is a totally foreign concept ..that is a dream that many never thought they would see

on the flip side, the likelihood of that occurring again is so very slim that it makes me think we are not far enough on the DREAM

The concept of a Minority having power is still not a vision that is held broadly around the good USA

there are many who are all to ready to discount someone still just based on the color of their skin

recently in my own safe suburbia there was a situation at the local Mexican restaurant where a patron left a note for their black server saying "Good Service but we do not tip black people"

This is 2017 -this makes me cry-this makes me scream and it should give everyone else that same reaction..

I could say WOW that someone feels that way, but that is not the alarming part

The piece that pushes me to the point of wanting to scream is that someone felt so BOLD and so EMPOWERED to express WHY they were not going to leave a tip

This is 2017...Where are we on THE DREAM

The fact that since this next President Elect has been identified more and more acts of hate and outright racism have become consistent occurrences in the news tells me

some of us have forgotten THE DREAM

or it was never a DREAM for some..maybe it was a nightmare

BUT if we are ever to be a great Nation

if our societies are ever to come to harmony (and again maybe that is idealistic) we must find our common ground

we must remember we all bleed the same, we all hurt the same, we all feel love, we all feel hate

Just say NO...

Everyone remembers that slogan back in the day

and with the emergence of new drugs and cosmetic drugs

drugs to make you smile

drugs to make you smile....less

drugs for irritable bowels

drugs for antisocial behavior

drugs for overly social behavior

drugs to make you sleep

drugs to keep you awake

and for the criminals and predators...

drugs to make ladies sleep

drugs to make ladies remember nothing

but lets not get distracted...

for the past week i have been dealing with Vertigo and let me just say of all the aches, pains, and illness I have endured THIS one takes the cake

as someone who avoids roller coasters, never reads in a moving car, and always likes to drive in order to avoid that feeling of motion sickness....vertigo is my worst nightmare

i can deal with aches, runny noses, colds, flus, and even allergies BUT

nausea and dizziness take the cake for me

and since that is the heart of vertigo...yea happiness has been upon me

I might even trade this for the runs (just not the runs and trapped in a car)

Now before I sound a little too ungrateful, let me step back and say while yes I have been besides myself in dealing with the no go vertigo, I am grateful mine was not as debilitating as others and I am grateful that when I went to the ER...

I walked in...and out by myself while some others did not

I am grateful for insurance to buy the DRUGS needed to treat my symptoms

but lets rewind to the DRUGS

Vertigo has to correct itself, its an inner ear ...crystal..out of the something (the doctor explained it so eloquently but yea drugs)

However the medicine used to treat the dizzy feeling and stuff ..the ANTIVERT drugs

all i keep hearing in my head is the Dave Chapelle -Cocaine is a helluva drug!!

I took two in the hospital while in a hospital bed and with a great IV pulsing through my arm and i awoke with a heated blanket on me (i LOVE nurses)

and went home....i thought i was going back to work the next day

i took my next dose at the designated time and MAN that was all she wrote..I remembered NOTHING after

*for the concerned parties-I was sure to take it at bedtime so my child was safe and sleep*

I attempted to go to work the one day several hours after taking a dose... my head was in such a fog...

there was such a delay in my thinking and responding

but throughout all of this i kept thinking of roofies and such and wondering if that is what it was like

because i could hear my thoughts but the synapses were firing so slowly it must have been the snail crew

while normally after an illness or injury I can tolerate the best of the best of drugs (minus codine -that too will take me out) but the ANTIVERT (meclavine) is NOT my friend

however which do you pick...the out of body out of mind experience

OR

the world is spinning and won't stop and hey beware of the stairs adventure

Happy Monday to ya!!!

and remember Just say NO to drugs!!!!

Angry Blog

I interrupt your Thursday evening for an out of cycle blog that is nothing more than a rant but hey....

While laying on the couch trying to feel better after possibly something bad I ate, I saw on the celeb news alert that Serena Williams recently became engaged

and as soon as I saw the picture of her fiance I knew the hate and remarks and unsolicited comments that would soon follow

just the top few were:

1) she never liked brothas anyway-MYTH
She dated Drake and Common for a very long time-FACT

2) white men get all the sistas-MYTH
Some black women do date outside the black race, but so do black men-FACT

3)He won't know how to handle that/what to do with that-MYTH
How offensive is it to imply that a black women is some type of animal that must be tamed or broken-FACT
Clearly she is content in her relationship to accept his proposal-FACT

There seems to still be some gross inaccuracies when it comes to interracial dating and more specifically when it involves a black woman and any man not of African American decent.

Enough is enough

while there are outliers of people who specifically only date certain races and are very clear about their intentions, there are also people who are very deliberate about only dating within their own race

for some people it is a preference, for others it is who stirs and captures their heart

but from a 10,000 foot view you can't always see the difference

i dont have a preference, i don't say "I ONLY date____" Love does not and should not work that way

and people who are trying to create blended babies or crafting their offspring have it all wrong

BUT back to the subject at hand

While I have been in both interracial and non interracial relationships..i do not allow that to define me

i am not a "swirler" i just happen to be in a IR relationship

my relationship does not make me any more or any less black

and i think other women in my similar dynamic feel the same way

i do think there is an irony that many black women in an IR tend to be women who are more comfortable in their skin, I see many with naturals and locs and who are truly comfortable in their skin

whereas the majority of women with the long weaves and light contacts are not the ones in a mixed coupledom

There is no winning and losing when someone dates outside of their race, the winner in all of it is love, and showing that love CONQUERS all

But instead we choose to pick apart and find flaws and project our hate and ignorance and use history as a reason to predict the future

I think at the end of the day and the biggest element in all the hate that people are spewing is that there is an element of MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

there is an element of people trolling on social media who feel they are entitled to share their opinion or that everyone should feel and think and act like them

People need to focus on their own house and their own relationships and not be concerned with others

ok that was a very unorganized rant and i apologize for that BUT this topic hits home for me

and i'm off my soapbox

Christmas Reflections

I have had a day to soak it all in

I have had a day to think about it all, to replay each moment, every laugh, every squabble

AND not to mention today was my travel day

which let me take a quick detour and say as much as i HATE getting up early

leaving to get on the road by 5am was a VERY smart move

I avoided all traffic and congestion and got home with plenty of time to unwind and possibly take a nap

Christmas 2016.....it was wonderful, it was exciting, it was different

there were familiar faces present

and faces absent

the older i get the more i look at December 25th through different eyes

As a Christian I understand the true reason we celebrate 12/25 and each year it becomes more and more special

In awe at the depth of love and sacrifice that my God has for me and made for me

From a human perspective, a Holmes perspective

I always go into the Christmas holiday just excited to be around my family and have some good eats and adult libations

I love the lights, I love the decorations, I love Piedmont traditions

Josh gets on my nerves, but then he's also the best

Mom made apple pie cheesecake and she and Jord made oreo-cookie-brownies

There was rum punch and Mullings Spice Cider and one night of Jack Daniels Honey

The red sheets were a toasty and the tree was a twinkling

the best part of it all was the love under the roof and the love in our hearts for those not there

As a Mother now, Christmas is now about carrying on traditions and sharing traditions with my daughter and seeing the look of excitement on her face as the music plays and the air is filled with love, laughter, and joy

So I guess I wrap up this blog by saying thank you to my parents for always making Christmas and holidays magical and for sharing it with not just me but Jord

We are a family that argues in one breath and loves hard and laughs heartily in another

But I would not change a moment of any of it

so Happy Holidays to all and to all a Happy New Year