Soapbox for a second-FOOD for thought!

SO I READ THIS AND I COULD NOT NOT SHARE…IT’S SO TRUE AND SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT FROM A RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE STANDPOINT

 

I used to be such a starry-eyed believer of love. I thought that love conquered all - and that as long as you shared that feeling with someone, it meant that the relationship would last. In the theory of fairytales and movies, this may be the case, but in North American reality - not quite. Instead, love is only one of the many ingredients needed for a long-lasting partnership. But the concerning issue is - people put so much weight on the feeling of love, a feeling that inevitably changes, takes different forms and can get blinded easily.

A partnership is not just about the emotions and feelings of love. A partnership is about commitment, and being responsible to that commitment regardless of what the external variables of the time are. It's about the commitment to choosing decisions that will serve the relationship even when it would "feel" better to not. Married or not married, when you decide to enter into a partnership with another, commitment means you act with integrity, respect and care -even when your emotions are telling you otherwise.

Because love isn't enough. Let me clarify, love, in the way most of us define it, isn't enough. Love isn't what makes you decide to not act out your desires when someone attractive starts showing you attention (and you haven't had sex in months). Love is not what makes you apologize and give your partner a hug after an argument (even though inside you know you're 100% right). Love is not what makes you weather the storm when disaster strikes (which it will). Love is not what makes you decide to treat each other with kindness, respect and empathy during a breakup or divorce (you'd be surprised how quickly love can feel like hate at that time). No, it's not love. It's commitment. It's the responsibility to keeping your commitment. Not just to the other person, but to yourself.

Love, and that giddy feeling in your stomach may be what guides you when you're feeling great about the apple of your eye. But what steers you when you're going through an ebb, or a rough patch? Can you depend on love at that point?

Love isn't rational. It can't be controlled. If you allow a feeling that is so emotional and malleable to dictate your behavior, you'll realize quickly that it only pans out when things are up, not when they're down. Commitment on the other hand, will guide you through both. Commitment is not dependant on the heartstrings, it's dependant on a conscious choice you make - and that, is something you have complete control over.

Amy Chan

 

 

april janelle

"Let go of the things you fear to lose. Die to your attachments. Free yourself from everything you think you are and embrace the truth that you are abundant, eternal, fearless and worth being loved."

 

- Jackson Kiddard, author and polymath.

 

 

random funny musings

Yesterday was my first day back to the gym-New Baby New body 2012…or something like that….

 

So I get downstairs and put on my gym clothes..one small caveat….my sports bra’s are still in my pre baby pre nursing size……..Can you say INAPPROPRIATE I put a top on BUT still I had the “ boob bubble” ! I thought that would excite me but at work NOT SO MUCH!!

 

Cream of Wheat-you know the wheat cereal you ate as a kid..WELL-they have a new flavor-CINABON and let’s just say I had a two for one coupon *yes I have been clipping coupons-in a NORMAL-not obsessive way* so I brought it and I LOVE IT!

 

The guy on the other side of my cube is getting over a cold and keeps clearing his throat BUT it’s that nasty first thing in the morning hacking one! Disgusting !

 

Listening to Erykah Badu…something about her songs make me think of summer time and the warm sun kissing my skin

 

Wow-now JOE-All the things your man won’t do..man I can’t believe how OLD this song is.

 

Is it bad that I am looking forward to my lunch? I love when I cook or have something homemade and I can’t wait to eat it..So I defrosted some of my whipped sweet potatoes and then the brisket I made the other day-lunch is looking to be pretty promising

 

Today’s eating has been swell..oatmeal with craisins ..so far 32 ounces of water..a few pretzels…..and my afternoon snack is yogurt and I have some butter free popcorn!!!

 

I was going to climb on my soap box and say something about the new year and how this year we need to all be more forgiving of ourselves and say yes more than we say no and spend more time with those that mean something to us …….but hey it’s a new year…just do what you want…whether that is something new or what you did last year

 

 

 

april janelle

"Let go of the things you fear to lose. Die to your attachments. Free yourself from everything you think you are and embrace the truth that you are abundant, eternal, fearless and worth being loved."

 

- Jackson Kiddard, author and polymath.

 

 

Sentimental moment

There is something so very humbling about passing by Arlington Cemetery -it doesn't matter how many times I drive past ..one look over at all the white tombstones just makes me pause and melancholy to know the many many lives that have be given for my behalf and for my liberties and safety
Today while passing there were wreaths on each headstone and I am sure each one was laid with the utmost respect and even though it could seem like a tedious long task -i would think each one would just be a reminder
I have military in my family and everyone joins for their own reasons but those that lost their lives lost them all the same (in the sense that they lost their live no mater why they joined)
I appreciate my military and I am thankful everyday for those that take the jobs that no one else takes
For those that run in when everyone else runs out
Thank you
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Fw: To my girls

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-----Original Message-----
From: apriljanelle@gmail.com
Date: Thu, 29 Dec 2011 14:23:59
To: <april.crump@blogger.com>
Reply-To: apriljanelle@gmail.com
Subject: To my girls

I want to dedicate this to my two girls who combined with me make up the Rosedale Park triple threat
So yesterday my loves came by and I couldn't help but think after--- we are all past the twenties and I want to commend my girls on looking AMAZING
I mean my girls have fabulous bodies!
They work hard to maintain them but I want to give major kudos to them
I know its right before new years aka the time for body resolutions but I'm so proud of my girls for not letting things go and for preserving their sexy
I can't say too often that I would change bodies with anyone BUT I could swap bodies with either of them and be fine (granted I will keep my legs) but I'd be happy in their bodies
Its all too easy that as we get older and things get harder to maintain most people don't step it up
I'd like to think a combo of good genes and constantly reinventing ourselves has allowed us and them to still look this way
Its so easy for chicks to allow time and gravity to be the enemy but I think if you threw the tiniest of bikinis at Noelle or Sabrina it might not be the first pick but they could rock it
And I just had a baby and by the grace of the good gene Gods and not going overboard with eating while pregnant I have returned to my pre preg size and I'm like wow
The 3 of us!
Anyhow-just wanted to tell the world that my girls are the ish and we are gonna burn these 30s up-and looking HOT along the way !!!
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Men

I am no male basher but there are just some things that the older I get the less I understand

 

So men constantly gripe about women being overly sensitive and overly emotional

 

But

 

When it comes down to it..MEN are far worst

 

Women have to watch what they say because it hurts their feelings…our tones are too harsh…our tones are too indifferent….

 

Yet somehow they are unable to see that their very SAME behavior affects us too

 

When we talk less something is wrong yet when pulling words from them is like pulling teeth..that’s just how they are

 

Women forget something..it’s the END of the world..they forget something and it’s “I’m sorry-I said I’m sorry”

 

They can forget and yet we are held to another standard…we dare not forget something or we are forced to hear “ I TOLD YOU THAT A MILLION TIMES BEFORE”

 

As if it’s not a two way street and we haven’t told them stuff a million and a half times

 

Woman came from Man-per God….so if that is the case…in my theory many of our characteristics are the same with just a twist

 

So MAYBE it’s because fundamentally humans have the same needs..the need to be loved..the need to be heard..the need to be understood

 

Men have such tough exteriors but man every man I know…brother..husband…father…friends….they are marshmallows…very gooey inside…and maybe society dictates that they can’t wear their hearts on their sleeves but geez Louise

 

I think we can learn from each other…if men would listen REALLY listen to what we are saying…women are very expressive and able to convey what they want and need and we need men to listen take note or whatever it takes and apply it

 

I sometimes think if I were a man..I would try to cheat all day every to learn what women think and what women want….the key to that is…the romance novels..TV shows..and movies that men are so quick to laugh at and look down upon…if I were male..I’d be the first male in there taking notes and seeing what it is that makes women tick

 

If I were a smart man..I’d read the “cheesy” romance novel because they are written by women describing what they want

 

Gone are the days of the Keith Sweats the old school R Kelly’s and the other “baby making” music…those songs used to lay it out..it was all and I repeat ALL about the woman and making her happy in all ways….

 

Maxwell isn’t afraid to express his thoughts/feelings ..and he gets paid to do it and women LOVE him

 

So what’s the problem with the rest of the gender..isn’t it easier to study and ace your test when it comes to woman 101 versus the constant battle

 

A happy woman will make you the HAPPIEST man alive…

 

Just  a few thoughts….

*hopping off the soap box*

 

 

 

 

 

april janelle

"Let go of the things you fear to lose. Die to your attachments. Free yourself from everything you think you are and embrace the truth that you are abundant, eternal, fearless and worth being loved."

 

- Jackson Kiddard, author and polymath.

 

 

Holiday thoughts

So I promised a blog and even though my day got a bit hectic I find that I have a moment to get one done now while my mini me rests for a second (hopefully)

I took her into work for the first time today-now I know my child and I knew it was a gamble
She was a-ok and cute for about ten minutes then things took a turn for the worst as expected and because that was her nap time and she missed it and subsequently has been on a downward spiral ever since

This is the last time I take my baby off her routine
If it means her father and I are anti social with her so be it because when all the folks who want to see her and hold her are back at their respective homes its the momma and daddy who spend the next 4+ hours dealing with ms fussy pants

So back to my blog-as the holiday season is upon us and clearly its my favorite time of the year and not just because of my birthday but mainly the magic of christmas and now as an adult magic is a loose term that you can define how you like
But for me its the crispness in the air-its the laughter and smile-its family-its the festive attitude-its the time of the year to give love and to believe in miracles and the ultimate reason for the season Jesus

This year my heart is in a different place-being a new Mom I have had many moments of great reflections and evaluations of how I am or parts of me hidden and visible
I have looked at the type of person I am and who and what I want to be
I look beyond my perfect world and my newfound love and bliss and my reveling in the joy and miracle of being a parent
But I think this may have been a long year for many
The economy is bad and the world is in need of love and happiness
The holidays can be hard for those away from their family or without family or those that have to choose between buying their kids gifts or putting food on the table
So I want my christmas to be about love and time and not about material objects and trappings
I have everything I want I have everything I need
What I can never have enough of is time with my loved ones
I think everyone should ask themself what is important to me this season
Is it something sparkly or the sparkle in someones eyes
Is it opening a bunch of gifts or opening your hearts
Is it spending a bunch of money you don't have or spending a bunch of time that you do

As I look down at the innocent baby sleeping on my chest..the world is a new place-its shiny it sparkles and as she grows yes she will get gifts but I want her to believe
Believe in the spirit-believe in God-believe in love
Believe in hot cocoa and pajamas and Christmas traditions
Believe in giving more than she takes
Believe its not the number or the size of the gift but the love and intention behind it
I want her to be a humble kind person
*sorry I digressed*
My point was for all of us to take a look at the world around us and take a look at ourselves and in ourselves and make this holiday different

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Weekend WTF

So I am perusing a particular magazine and just had a few points to share

Tracy Morgan(30 Rock) age 42 announced he and his girlfriend 24 are engaged
Dang she's young

Ron Artest legally changed his name to Metta World Peace!
Ok WHAT is that-all I can say is WOW SMH really

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