– Frank A. Clark
I saw this quote in my email today and it got me to thinkin'...............
When we critic someone what is our motivation....are we giving critic because it was solicited? i think feedback is often received VERY differently when it was requested versus forced upon us
everyone would like to think they are honest and that they give others feedback simply to help but if that is really true then why are we offended when sometimes feedback is not well received or maybe not followed to the letter
does it play into our own personal selfish belief that WE are better planners and executors of someone else's life
do we feel that from our bird's eye view we can see more clearly and therefore are better able to offer advice
do we feel that because we have had a similar experience that somehow that qualifies us to say HEY I see what you are doing and I think should refrain or I don't think it's a good idea
often times i seek feedback and opinions of others and i was asked recently why i do so and how much weight do i give to these other opinions
i have been reminded lately that it is my face i have to look and love in the mirror and i need to act accordingly
as one of my closest of close people has said and that is clearly the mantra of 2014.."It's not about YOU"
I think people need to think about that when giving advice and even when receiving it
when giving it-you give your advice and let it go- ask yourself WHY are you telling this person said advice
and on the other end when someone gives you advice do not always take it personal or as a personal attack
people share and do things based on their own personal filters and it may have nothing to do with YOU at all but just how they perceive something
i am AMAZED at how often and how many people internalize someone's life and life issues and make them their own
it's nice to care-it's nice to be there to offer support but if it's not YOUR life-YOUR life the reflection you see in the mirror it's not about you
i see countless facebook rants where people put on the coat of anger for someone and don't get me wrong empathy is not a lost emotion BUT keep it in perspective
i see numerous girls who notice that their girl is mad and they absorb that emotion and then too are mad about something that has NOTHING to do with them
yes it is not fun to see a friend hurting BUT sometimes just lend your support
unbiased quiet support let your friend steer the ship
are we honest with our friend about their bf/gf because we are jealous because we are single
are we honest because we dont REALLY want to see them happy
are we unsupportive of people because we want their happiness to LOOK a certain way
Do we want someone else's happiness to look like OURS
do we feel OURS is better or the best way
what works for YOU works for YOU
what will work for me will work for me
if we were all the same if we all had the same needs wants and desires oh what a cookie cutter world that would be...mmmm speaking of cookies ....
But back to my point-that quote that I read made me think and going forth when I give someone feedback I want to ensure it's something positive something that empowers someone and gives them food for thought not leaves them feeling dejected or less than
i prefer to help not hurt
i am a lover
i would like to put a smile on a face
not a tear on a cheek
i want someone to come back to me for more advice not shun and shy away from ever talking to me
words are one of the most powerful tools we have as people
we can use them to build or we can use them to DESTROY
how will you use your words
do people think of you as someone who is honest and fair or someone who makes you winch because of the magnitude and sharpness of your words??
just think about that today
use your words wisely
you never know what someone is going through and
do you really want to be the straw that breaks the camels back?????????????????
