soooooo.....as seemingly someone who has experienced a variety of relationships and relationships status, i thought today why do someone people avoid marriage and yet sustain amazing and happy relationships in a time when the divorce rate is astronomical...why is it that some same sex partners are able to maintain lifetime partners and yet so many marriages cannot withstand the same
im sure this will generate a lot of feedback and i will say upfront i realize there are many variables that affect this BUT it was just an idea or thought that entered my mind
right off the top of my head i can think of some long term couples unmarried who have been together FOREVER
Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell
Oprah and Stedman
Tina Turner & her Italian guy
what is it about the institution of marriage or what is it that has caused these couples to not become one in the eyes of God
is there commitment any less strong
how are some of them able to have decades and decades under the belt and yet have not taken those steps
do they feel saying I DO will change something
will I DO make things more "real"
Is it a financial thing?
Is it a legal issue?
What makes a couple want to get married versus just a long term relationship?
Happiness is not a guarantee because you are married
someone once told me they thought unmarried couples were happier because they are always working harder to maintain the relationship and reinvent it because there was no legally binding contract that could infer you HAD to do something
is that true
do you work harder when you are trying to win someone or when the thought of losing them is in the back of your head
food for thought
when you are dating we tend to go ALL out for someone....always dressed nice, makeup, patient, lots of phone calls, emails, back massages, etc and yet once you past the honeymoon phase how many people maintain this lifestyle
and not to say a relationship is all romance and flowers because NO its not but there are some things that CAN and SHOULD be maintained whether after 1 yr or 10 years
the compliments the looks the touches the little attention to detail
i read a quote once that said when you stop kissing the relationship is over
i always thought kisses were the little foundation fillers of a relationship
kisses are so intimate and can convey so many different messages
if you aren't kissing and you arent making time for the smallest building block in a relationship have you stopped everything else
why do we date and put our best foot forward if we have no intention of maintaining or if that "dating facade" is soo far off from our genuine and authentic person?
I have heard you should date someone for at least 6 seasons to really know them
i think through my trial and error i am going to cry falsity on that
you can date someone for 18 months, 3 years, or 6 months, if someone is in the business of masquerading as a good person then time will not be a factor in how long they keep the show going
which leads me to the next question people generally ask..do you ever really know someone
i think time is not always the only indicator of how well you know someone, i think what weighs more heavily in knowing someone and their character is experiences..
experiences and life are the best windows into someone
how do they handle good news, bad news
how do they handle stress
how do they get mad? how do they cope
how are they when they are stressed
how do they treat others
do they have friends? what do their friends think of them?
but back to my original thought of why some people choose to marry versus others
i would initially want to say people marry for religious reasons but most people who get married aren't even religious
so what is it
is it societal driven
is it the influence of our peers and family
what makes someone choose to get married over maintaining a healthy happy adult relationship
