6 years ago ......

6 years ago almost to the hour my life changed forever

6 years ago at 6am ish a group of nurses flooded my room at Virginia Hospital Center and informed me

IT IS TIME (kinda like Lion King ...but but not really)


6 years ago the journey of growing a child within me

watching my body change and expand (there was a lot of expanding)

6 years ago today I learned just how strong a woman's body is

i learned you can endure a whole lot more in the name of love and babies

6 years ago my center shifted from all about me to all about someone else

i think until you are a parent you will never truly understand what being selfless and what sacrificial love is

it is SO very different from the love between a spouse or any other relationship

becoming a parent changes EVERYthing

6 years ago the months of anticipation and wondering ..girl or boy

wondering would the baby look like me or Ray

6 years ago finally i held the most beautiful baby, MY baby...... Jordan Lee Crump

Over the past 6 years Jord, Jordy, Jojo has changed my world in ways I never expected or could have ever anticipated

over the past 2,190 days she has made me proud to be HER Mom and so happy to be A Mom

for anyone who knows the journey to Jojo ...it did not come easy and so i really take the time to savor every moment and appreciate each day as a gift ...because it is

So today as I last minute called off of work to spend the day with my baby

and while it was not planned i openly embrace the ability to call in to work on short notice and turn

a moment like my child asking me to stay and celebrate her 6th birthday with her into an opportunity to make a lasting memory

because 6 years is special and i want her to know just how special she is TO ME

4 months later

Oh it's been awhile... like 4 months to be exact

Today I woke up just like any other morning and I checked the news on my phone...

i get the important political stuff but i also get the celeb fluffy stuff

so there was something that caught my eye

another celebrity divorce

and for some reason despite my two trips down that road

i always feel such a profound hurt when i see another couple going their separate ways

now before i sound too judgy, i am the first to recognize that sometimes there are reasons

and obstacles that may seem insurmountable or people feel pushed into a corner with no other recourse

i get that, i truly do

but i also think one of the lessons that God has allowed me to learn from my losses is just how fragile and how much work are required of relationships and marriages are the supreme relationship

its meant to be forever and transcend hurt feelings, seasonal change, loss, gain and everything in between

i think whenever i hear about a new divorce i mourn and hurt a little bit for the loss of my marriages

that is NOT to be confused with REGRET because I am where i am and who i am because of those losses

they have changed me to the core and changed my capacity and understanding of love and relationships

as a newlywed now i have a more refined understanding of fighting for and protecting my marriage

in the past i didnt recognize and have the tenacity and grit to dig in and fight on the days when you may not want to look at that person let alone share a word

now i plant seeds of forgiveness and understanding and compassion DAILY

its not just good enough to forgive once, you have to forgive over and over and over and over

AND OVER

and sure there may be days when that person gets ON YOUR NERVES (and boy does he)

but then i remember what a PEACH i can be and i realize that's balance and that's LOVE

so while the news came today of one couple calling it quits..


there was another couple  -LL Cool J and his wife Simone that celebrated 22 years

within the realm of celebrities and public figures, what is it that causes some to fail while others somehow someway still thrive and defy the statistics

What grounds some

what destroys others

so that was my thought of the day.....

a drink for one and a prayer for another

Hi! My name is...

Between sickness and travel..it's been AWHILE ...to say the least


HOWEVER


I am back!!!


I had a very interesting conversation this weekend on a topic very near and dear to my heart


FRIENDSHIP


I am 35 and while I have many ASSOCIATES .. I do not have many FRIENDS


and I am okay with that and I like that


There are people in my life who I am close with and who may be closer than an associate but friends


I can count on one hand


During this discussion this person and I talked about the cycles and chapters that they have had with a particular person in their life


each chapter starts and ends kinda the same


but at this stage they are no longer interested in trying to craft a different outcome and they are okay with where things are and the repetition of the relationship


it really got me thinking about why I only let so many people in


it got me thinking about the type of friend I try to be, I hope I am, and work at being


I try to be drama free because past 20 WHO needs additional drama when you have LIFE & RESPONSIBILITY


I want to support my friends and I want them to know I have their back no matter what


I want my friends to know I will always listen and that I am true and loyal


and I also want to be the friend that is honest..always...


I remembered someone mentioning to me the "5 types of people you need in your life" and I have pasted it below


I think there is a lot of truth to that...it is good to think about the type of friend you are and to think about the people in your life who fill those roles... (I almost said rolls)


some people will overlap, sometimes not


but I think today is a good day to think about FRIENDSHIP


xoxoxo me




Everyone knows the types of people to steer clear of. The toxic, negative, bullies of the world and the people that bring you down. But what about the people to keep in your life? Who are the friends that you should be holding onto?


In a world of negative people and toxicity, making sure you have positive relationships in your life is essential to maintaining your mental health and improving quality of life. So, we compiled a list of the top 5 types of friends you should be regularly seeing and why.


The friend that always makes you laugh
A crucial friendship is one that gets you laughing. Even if you’re the predominately “funny one” of the bunch, you should always have someone who’ll make you laugh in return once in a while. Find someone with a similar sense of humour to you and let the medicine of laughter help you get through those tough times.


The friend that forces you to go out
Particularly important for those introverted/reclusive types. Having a friend who is energetic and constantly invites you out will force you to maintain a regular social life. While they may not be the friend you can hang out with every single day, they’re definitely the friend to help get your mind of anything bothering you. Hanging with high energy people will help with lifting your own energy and improving your spirits.


The Low Maintenance friend
Probably the most important friendship you’ll ever have. There is nothing worse than only having friends that you have to put up a front with. Having someone you can talk to freely (about any awkward or gross topic you want) and someone you’re happy to sit and do nothing with will do wonders for your mental health. Sometimes, we need human connection, but don’t want the obligations of having to go out or make a big event of it. So make a friend that’s happy sitting at home watching Netflix in their pyjamas with you.


The friend that tells it how it is
Sometimes polite relationships will prevent you from seeing things in a realistic viewpoint. Surrounding yourself with people that don’t feel like they can tell you when you’re in the wrong, when you’re making a mistake, or just when you have food stuck in your teeth, makes things a little awkward. If you’re not told when you’re wrong, you could develop unhealthy narcissism or lose crucial self-awareness. So make sure you have someone you can talk to and seek for advice that’s going to be real, raw and honest.


The supportive friend
Just as you need a friend to tell you the truth and keep your head out of the clouds, you also need one to lift you up and support you no matter what. When you’re a person that’s riddled with insecurity and uncertainty, it’s very important to have someone there for you who is going to get you through those tough times. Sometimes, we all just need a little bit of positive affirmation.


These may not be all different people. If you’ve managed to find someone that meets all these requirements in one: congrats! You’ve found a friend for life. But still try to keep your friendship group varied. Surround yourself with a number of wonderful people and you’ll live a rewarding, happy life!

Become a student again...

Ha!!! catchy title but NO I am not encouraging everyone to return to academia


however I was listening to a podcast and I think reading in a pre-marital book


and the concept of "being a student of your spouse" was introduced


after reading a bit more down the page I realized what a powerful concept that was


so while this is technically a cheater move today I am going to Copy + Paste an article that


very clearly explains this concept.


I hope you enjoy!


If you are in a relationship, may you think about this and apply some of this valuable information


and if you are not in a relationship, I hope the next time you are, you remember this and find it useful.


A few more disclaimers-while this is written for married couples, I think it is also applicable to long-term and other serious and committed relationships.

Going Back to School to Study Your Wife

Become a lifelong learner of your spouse. Some things you learn may be great and others not so great, but ultimately it’ll help you connect more intimately with your wife. It’s time we all go back to school to study our wives. Below are five reasons going back to school to study your wife is a great idea as well as five practical study habits you can develop to make it happen.

5 Reasons to Go Back to School to Study Your Wife

1. To be the expert in your wife. To know your wife like nobody else knows her is an amazing thing and something you should desire.
2. To keep things fresh. Your relationship will never get stale because you will continue to discover new things about her.
3. To stay sharp. Ever been caught off guard by something she said or did? When you constantly learn about her, her habits, her likes/dislikes, etc., you aren’t caught off guard as much.
4. To increase desire. I want to be attracted to my wife in all areas forever! When you learn about someone, you tend to desire them more and more, and it just may go both ways.
5. To increase self-discovery. The more I learn about my wife, the more I learn about myself which helps me to keep growing and becoming the best I can be.

5 Practical Study Habits to Learn More About Your Wife

1. Listen to her. Groundbreaking idea, huh? I list this with full disclosure. I’m not the best listener, but when I really intently listen to her, I learn a lot. Be intentional about this.
2. Spend regular and frequent time together alone. Block out at least 15 minutes daily for each other, and date weekly. Just spending 15 minutes together per day will provide a consistent opportunity to talk and learn more about one another, just like dating will, and it’s fun.
3. Exercise together. Striving for and achieving fitness goals together is amazing. You’ll learn a lot about her in how she responds when stressed, when challenged, when tired, and when succeeding.
4. Read books together. Grab some books on marriage and parenting, or money and fitness, or just a fiction book. As you discuss it, you’ll get more insight into her thoughts and her feelings.
5. Pray for her and with her. Prayer is very intimate, and you’ll learn a lot. When we pray for our wives and ask God for help, I believe He gives insight to us about our wives as well. Pray daily and see what happens.

The Tooth Fairy does NOT live

Soooo yesterday my child lost her FIRST baby tooth


after much drama


after a lot of wiggling


after threats from her dad of being "the tooth reaper"


after tears


after not eating solids


after swearing off anything beyond pasta


the tooth was on its last


hanging on by a prayer


sitting out the socket


complete 180 degree capability


we left her dads


she escaped his many attempts to grab it


we laughed in the face of his talking smack about "pulling" it


she hopped in the truck heading home


and...


mommy my tooth is out


and sure enough that little rice grain was out


no pain


no blood


all smiles


new name Princess Toothless Sweet Bunny ( I can't make this stuff up)


next topic...the Tooth Fairy


now everyone knows I dispelled the Santa myth mainly for church reasons but the Tooth Fairy


I did not have a good game plan


so we get home


I put it in a snack bag


finally at bed time


rice grain goes under the pillow


BAM


I had $2 in my wallet


Uncle Josh suggested a $2 bill


I didn't get around to it


next time...actually NOT


so once she is sleep I think


here is my time


so I call my mom and asked do I take the tooth


she says yes


so fine it take said tooth


I write a quick note "yay to the loss of the 1st tooth..see ya soon-the tooth fairy"


put it in an envelope with her money


and DONE and done


next morning


Jojo wakes up and stumbles into the bathroom and that is when things went south


Jojo: Mommy where is my tooth


Me: the tooth fairy took your tooth and left money


*money lays on the floor*


Jojo: But I really wanted my first tooth *tears begin*


*and so does the lying*


Me: well the tooth fairy leaves the first tooth under the Mommy's pillow so she can save it and always have it


J: Mommy can I have my tooth back to look at a little longer


M: fine


J: So since you are a grown up..have you seen the tooth fairy


M: No


J: Is the tooth fairy invisible


M: well...yes ..yes she is


J: there is no such thing as invisible people


M: *blank stare*


J: what does the tooth fairy sound like?


M: Ok Jord-the tooth fairy is just like Santa


J: Ohhhhh ok-so I can just keep my tooth then


M: yes


Then we both walked out the bathroom..$2 still on the floor


the moral lesson of the day..lying never works when you have an analytical child who questions things and whether they make sense


2 epic childhood stories dead

Almost Hallmark/Cupid Day

SO tomorrow is 2/14

Hallmark and even now I think the groceries next favorite holiday next to Christmas

Typically, oh i would be ever so excited HOWEVER this year I feel slightly ANNOYED

Now don't get me wrong, I am not hurt or bitter or feeling negatively about LOVE, which is my favoritest thing EVER

but what i AM annoyed with is the process of addressing, categorizing, alphabetizing, labeling, and organizing School Approved Kindergarten Valentine's!!

Oh yea! I went there!!

Maybe this is merely a Mommy rant but let me tell you...

For school, I tried to be proactive, we got the valentines last week and we filled them out last Friday
(in my mind -WINNING)

I even went a step further and put them in cute Ziploc bags labeled GIRLS and BOYS

(Mom of the year right here)

To add some icing on the cake, I even put all the extras in yet another Ziploc bag and that too went in her backpack

(killing it)

I was feeling good..no wait I was feeling GREAT and ACCOMPLISHED

Until...

Aftercare sends home an email saying "We too are going to have a Vday party and here is a list of another dozen + names"

*insert big eye roll* FINEEEE

fast forward to Monday night after working a full day, we are stopping in Walgreens to buy some stupid (yes i said it) pieces of paper which by the way my cleaning lady JUST came and quite frankly i dont want any extra pieces of paper on my floor OR in my truck (hmmm maybe i can leave them at her dad's house) i digress

we get MORE valentines for her buddies (airheads for any valentines day purest) and in looking at the setup i realize they need to be organized

so while trying to make dinner and fit in a shower (because this Hot Momma went to the gym) and a bedtime store ALL before the dear pumpkins bedtime

we sat and addressed and signed and then put them in snack bags so that the candy stays with the silly little card

*done and done*

BUT wait theres more...upon double checking everything I realize oh they are supposed to be in alphabetical order...*cringe* why cant the kids do it

Oh and there is a Valentine's day party at the school tomorrow at 930

oh but wait i have a meeting at 9am

whats a Mom to do

so ...i pulled out my NEW AGE Mom trusty dusty handbook and it said: WHEN IN THESE PREDICAMENTS, DO NOT FEEL YOU ARE ABOVE BRIBERY

Bam-gospel

"Jojo-Mommy is going to try to make the Vday party tomorrow at school BUT if i cannot will it make you feel better if I take you to AC MOORE (Yup only Gigi's baby gets excited about that store over Toys R Us) and get the little art statue that you wanted"

and just like that she said Mommy I understand and I half way want you there but i half way want the statue.... and then the thoughts of the Poppy statue began to take over her brain

and ITS BEEN HANDLED

Valentines Day was supposed to be fun and Im sure tomorrow will be, but the prep involved in getting a little kid fully locked and loaded for school ..for 2 schools-arghhhhh

i think i sprouted new gray hair

and that my good people is the Valentine's Day Grinch special Mom edition

Constant Protection

I was trying to thing what I would write about today

it's Monday after all and that's BLOG DAY

I thought about doing an ode to my Mother and how much I love her

I love her for her understanding and during our conversation today, she reaffirmed just how much she wants what's best for me first and foremost

Mom i VERY much love you

and thank you for our conversation earlier and for your blessing to proceed down the path

BUT then as I was within the last block from my house

as i was anticipating FINALLY getting home after a long 1.5 hour commute due to a car accident on the freeway

my light turned green and as a proceeded to cross the light

an SUV waiting in the turn lane to my right decided to take the light

which by all accounts I am not sure how they were going anywhere considering the turn lane would have been very red and it was a turn only lane

either way as i proceeded into the intersection  i see this SUV approaching rapidly

and its on my right hand side, the side where my child normally would be

it just so happens her booster is in the middle right now

BUT my tactical driving skills kicked in and i swerved FAR left and then a FAST right to avoid the other car in the proper turning late

bottom lane i evaded being T-boned and my truck is unscratched

and my child most importantly is SAFE

SIGH

Now I am in and I just thank God for protecting us

that's all i got