funny title however this blog is nothing but
i try not to be an angry writer but every once in awhile a topic pops up that pushes me to a point of extreme passion
today i was reading an article and it was about how Tia & Tamera cancelled their show and not because of poor reviews but because of the extreme HATE and ignorance they received regarding Tamera's interracial marriage
so here i go
there were so many UGLY terms utilized in the comment section regarding the show and the couple which of course unhinged the very gaping never healing wound of racism in America
2014 and while some generations feel it less there are others that are very aware of some of the underlying feelings that once ran rampant in our country
the term SELLOUT was one of the less ugly terms compared to "whore" and "bed wench" and some others that anger me to even write
let me compose myself just a bit
I am a firm believer in you date and marry and love who makes you happy and makes you most complete
whether they are the same race, another race, or same sex
who am i to determine what works for you and your heart and your life
many of the negative comments were from black males
black males who felt she was denying the brotherhood a good wife
when in reality thats probably NOT the case
its similar to when women see an attractive gay man and proclaim WHAT A WASTE
how narrow minded can you be
you will not and cannot date every man and every man is NOT for you
black males are not the ultimate protector of black women
if that is the case every black man would adore and respect his black woman
WE know that is not the case just like in any other race
i dont think black women have an obligation to date only black men
i think women black white asian or indian should date who makes them happy and loves them
end of discussion no further explanation
it would be ignorant to not acknowledge the history of the county but everyone does not continue to share those feelings and sentiments
to call someone a SELLOUT as if they are having an identity crisis is beyond offensive and deplorable
as a black woman who has dated and married both in my race and out
let me be the first to say i am just as much me whether married to someone in my race or out
my marrying outside of my race was not linked to lacking pride in who i am or some attempt to live out some crazy white man/slave master fantasy (YES i actually read that on the article to)
i wont sit here and say the line i dont see color
because everyone sees color
but its how you react and respond to it that makes the difference
i recognize there are some differences amongst gender, amongst color, amongst age, and definitely socioeconomic levels
so you have to be honest and acknowledge you see MANY factors
im not a woman who is not in touch with her culture or feels she identifies better with a different race and so in the ultimate culminating act i married outside my race
NO way
i date and marry who i feel a connection with
who makes me fundamentally happy and i want to spend my life with
i dont like blanket statements that a black husband will always be better or hey if you want to be treated and respected you need to marry a white man
NO dont feed me that bullshit because we will have words
if you want to be happy be happy and be happy on your terms
dont let society and its ignorances dictate who you should marry
marrying within your race is not a guarantee of happiness
the key to a successful marriage is in the communication and the commitment to the commitment
not in the physical attributes
it makes me sad to read the ignorance that was so readily spewed by individuals
and for a family to actually cancel their show because of the HATE and to protect their family
its a wake up call
interracial relationships and marriages have been around for a long time and its my gut that they are not going away
so we can continue to embrace and support or we can keep our narrow minded views on the table
