what happens when the cute promises to not eat amazing baked potatoes without you get tossed aside... or when you find yourself discussing the more gritty side of human life and functions
is that a sign that THE HONEYMOON IS OVER!!!!
I think often in new relationships hearing the term "the honeymoon is over" elicits a certain sadness or maybe a cringe
and i think sometimes it infers a "beginning to an end" type of thought
BUT
I recently thought about it and felt that you can view the honeymoon being over as a GOOD thing
SO what is the HONEYMOON period
its when everyone is nice
no one farts, skips shaving their legs, or ever has unbrushed teeth
during the honeymoon there is no arguing because you agree on EVERYTHING and cheerfully enjoy ALL the same things
*must be a SIGN right* SARCASM
during the EARLY times- you want every moment together ( I will caveat that and say there are plenty of healthy couples that even after many years under the belt still genuinely enjoy spending time with their mate and I think it should be that way)
BUT most people are inseparable they operate as one
often causing friends and family to say don't you do anything on your own or by yourself
*sidebar-to people who say that-let people have their happy intense concentrated MIA time-we all know that's just a "PHASE" of the relationship and eventually it balances out*
I think sometimes the honeymoon seems so magical and so SURREAL that when "REALITY" kicks in there is a HUGE let down
there is a sadness
a feeling like you were sold a bad rainbow
people begin to question who they are with and why they are there
HOWEVER
I would like to challenge that perspective
It's nice to meet the person who is always polished and put together but is it real is it sustainable
I think I want the honeymoon to be over
I want to see you for you
I want to know what your ugly is (and I don't mean some raging alcoholic tendencies or anger issues)
BUT I want to see how you are when you are not feeling well
I want to see you when you are frustrated so I can know what that's like and I can determine is that a deal breaker
I want to know how you treat the waitress who is having an off day
once the honeymoon phase is over you can get down to the meat and potatoes of your compatibility and chemistry
and then and only then will you begin to see if that is someone you may want to continue to be around and spend your time with
we all know you can't get time back
we can call it time wasted , although i might challenge that statement and say it was a long lesson learned
i think the honeymoon being over should be what you look forward to because it means you are taking down the walls and the smoke screens and false images
you are saying you know what i trust you to see me for ME and not for the persona i work to maintain
i say bring on the NEXT part of the relationship
bring on the day to day
bring on the varying seasons
bring on the holidays and birthdays
bring on the ROUTINE
having a routine isn't bad
we are all creatures of habit
and once we have our habits we are able to function and exist
you need to come back up for air and that's when you can truly begin to swim
i think 25 year old me would be sad when the honeymoon was over and fight to keep it or get it back
32 me says good bye honeymoon and let's get this show started and let's take the walk
let's enjoy the ride and welcome all the new experiences and upcoming adventures
my blog my thoughts
