Listening

so listening is defined by Websters as:

to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear.

2.	to pay attention; heed; obey (often fol. by to): Children don't always listen to their parents.

3.	to wait attentively for a sound (usually fol. by for): to listen for sounds of their return.

4.	Informal. to convey a particular impression to the hearer; sound: The new recording doesn't listen as well as the old one.

but yet how MANY people really LISTEN.. Not many-all too often when we are having a dialogue or discussion with someone we/they are so busy planning our rebuttal or trying to defend ourself that we miss the message which defeats the purpose of communication.
people need to stop and really listen-not hear but LISTEN.

and that goes hand in hand with honesty-most humans claim to want it but then when you are honest they are once again so busy defending them self that they miss the message and MAYBE just MAYBE you have a valid point because we all know the way we see ourselves is NOT always the reality-often we see ourselves through our own projections and ideas....

so if you want honesty you must first learn to shut your mouth and really listen to what the person is trying to say-hell they JUST might have a point

relationships (as defined by me) -i learned a long time ago when you are in a relationship-you dont start off saying what you wont you because then you are setting the relationship up from failure immediately-i dont measure what i give or what i do in a relationship-if you are measuring then you are missing the BIG picture. a relationship (as defined by me) is about giving and doing because it makes the other person happy and if you are with the one they are equally doing and giving so there is a balance, but if you are always calculating what you GAVE up for the relationship or what you COULD be doing then you are missing the point and not giving selflessly.. which is the wrong premise.. a relationship should make you happy you should be encouraged and excited to give and do because the smile on that person's face or knowing how happy they are is the ULTIMATE reward and gift... but that's just a relationship (as defined by me)


someone once told me-you can say all day what you won't or cant do in a relationship and that's fine-BUT be prepared for the backlash which could come in resentment, distance, or someone else filling in for you..

whatever you will NOT do in a relationship-there is ALWAYS someone else willing to do for you.. Have we not or do we NOT learn from all the athletes and their cheating ways and its always over something simple that they were not getting at home. its easy to think our castle is perfect and continue in cruise control BUT a relationship-a GOOD one is like my Audi from the TRANSPORTER-the realllllly expensive one-they require maintenance and hell you WANT to maintain that puppy to make sure it shines and purrs wonderfully ...that's how a relationship should be (as defined by me) ...athletes practice all the time to perfect their game-so why would you think that the biggest thing in our life-our relationship should get any less


not preaching just food for thought folks

LOVE TARGET

so sometimes i have these random thoughts and things that make me happy

i swear it really is all about the little things

so I got some new tee shirts from Target the other week and I just put on the one today OMG
i SO love it

ok i am always on the quest for length so my crack is not hanging out or the tops of my underoos

so this shirt is perfectly long and not too tight but makes me look slightly busty or maybe its my bra today but im just excited and i cant wait to grab some more

when i got them they were on sale $5-maybe i can find them again

but anywho-sorry for the silly blog but im just happy about my new comfy shirt and YES its grey!!!!

oh sidebar my rude ass coworker who snapped at me Monday just walked by and do you think she spoke-NOPE-am i pressed double NOPE!!!!

holidays taking over

so with the busiest time of the year here-it is too easy to get caught up in the rush and craze...for me i want to constantly focus on next week and all the many upcoming events and celebrations in my life, but i just had to stop and think this morning, " if i rush rush rush-it will all be over so quickly that i would not have enjoyed ANY of it"..so i resolved this morning to truly take it a day at a time and try to make each day fun and memorable. I plan to get back to watching the 25 days of Christmas and each day take the time to watch one Christmas movie during this season-its a reminder of the magic and the love..for some people they dont like Christmas because they hate the commercialism but if you dont get caught up in it than you can stay focused on the real reason for the season and focus on the love, the magic, the smells, family, friends, good food, fellowshipping-i mean THAT is what the season is about.. the songs that people hate-well that's just one persons interpretation of happiness expressed in a song. we all have a lot to be thankful for-its easy to focus on what we do NOT have or what we want BUT is it really so hard to look around and see all the wealth we do have, whether it is in the shape of having friends, having loved ones, having a job, having a roof over our heads,

everyone needs to just stop the whining stop the pouting-and take a hard look around-look around!!! the trimmings and trappings of the holidays are great-gifts are nice-BUT look at all else you have to be thankful for-seeing another year-having people in our life who truly enrich it

time is precious-moments are not always recurring-so instead of getting caught up in the hustle and bustle stop and take the time to tell the one in your life-YOU LOVE THEM-hold your kids a bit closer-make that kiss a little longer, make each day memorable, if you have someone anyone whether lover or not -at the end of that day tell them how special they are and what they mean to you-end each day with a smile and thoughts of happiness-because i can guarantee going to bed mad or angry or stressed is NOT going to solve your problem and in the morning it will STILL be there-so shake it off and dont let your mood affect others-let them lift you back up


sorry i guess i digressed but more importantly this is the time to love a bit more-give a bit more-of your time of your resources-it doesnt always have to be a paid for gift-some of the best gifts are the ones that can never be wrapped-that perfect moment-that perfect kiss-that look-that touch-just do it so that you never regret not doing it

so next week YES i will get my wreath and YES i will get a tree and YES i will listen to classic songs while i decorate and YES my scroodge will probably watch more than he helps-BUT maybe just maybe with enough magic in the air-his icy heart will accept more Christmas in it-one year at a time :)

it's official

well yesterday-the wonderful RDC-made things official-SO it looks like he's gonna keep me around permanently!!!

I cant explain how ELATED and overjoyed I am-it was truly like Christmas :)

i could sit here and write a bunch of mushy make your eyes well up stuff about how great love is and finding that ONE-but somehow I feel like i should spare you all-but i will say yesterday was a great day-I am EXTREMELY happy AND I got to open my new box of Pink DOVE soap-sometimes it truly is the not so obvious things that make our hearts swell the most-although-i must say this sparkle on my hand-YUP-its damn obvious and i'm loving it!!!

oh oh and just because i havent blogged in awhile and i know for some of you there was a sense of gladness BUT let me tell you
i went to this place called THE MELTING POT last night-its a fondue restaurant-now for anyone who has been around me longer than 5 minutes you KNOW my affinity for FOOD-good food
SO i have been having fondue fantasies for the past month or two and lets just say yesterday i was utterly satisfied

the cheese oh THE cheese-so ooey and gooey and the hint of garlic and lager (Amstel for you Josh) -YUM double yum then the main course which i was a skeptic like ummm how is this hot pot of water going to cook my meat-well it did so i had shrimp and sirloin dipped in a Mojo (aka caribbean broth) THEN for dessert-drumroll please (clean up the drool)

Disaronno Meltdown-white chocolate with Disaronno in it with the dippers being Oreo crusted marshmallows, cheesecake-YES FOLKS DECADENT ASS CHEESECAKE!!! then brownies and rice krispies-OMG!!!! I had my pants unbuttoned and unzipped-

yesterday was just a fabulous day!!! SO I am declaring December a month of non stop annual celebration-from December 1 thru December 31st and everyday in between-its truly my and the most WONDERFUL time of the year!!!

random

so i have been trying to decide what to blog about today...dont really want to discuss my horrendous weekend so i wont

i would like to just make a quick complaint about people who have blogs and only update them twice a year...i mean i get that the nightlife and things in the big city may keep you busy HOWEVER if you did not want the upkeep MAYBE you should have not started a blog and then convinced others that they should blog and how great it was....anonymous :)

so there is a certain lady who is pushing me towards the line of just plain bold vanity!!! man i'm in like a whole new world-
i got hooked up once again-i have never felt so amazing and beautiful...i always leave feeling like im glowing...i wish i knew more people would locs because i would actually share her....when i began my locs and had this whole idea of what the experience was going to be like and the atmosphere SHE is what i expected and i guess like any good relationship-you have to date bad ones and so-so ones before you find-THE ONE!!!

I will try to post pictures this evening if I can stop staring at myself long enough-even the male persuasion from Minnesota was quite pleased with my new look!!!


im just a plain hottie now!!!

starting off my day right with 1 graham-a cup of passion tea-and now high fiber oatmeal with a buttload of craisins added for extra effect :)

one of my old classmates from school just had a baby girl and this is most most adorable little girl-her name is Ruby-such a classic name-and man looking at the pictures when her Dad is holding her-its SO over for him-his is totally in love!!!
anywayz i thought it was super sweet

starting off wrong

man i dont know where this obsession/addiction with cinnamon graham crackers is coming from BUT I am NOT going to buy another box this week at the store. I go crazy over these things and sure there are worst snacks to gorge on BUT I will cut back for a week or two..

soo all-next week is turkey day-oh yum the sights and tastes and smells of honey baked ham, fried turkey, a veggie, and mac n cheese, and then cranberry sauce-my plate is simple, meat a veggie-the crans-and maybe a side...im not a stuffing or dressing or WHATEVER that bready stuff is called-dont like it dont eat it-so instead i feast on the rest

my schedule looks pretty busy until time to leave-movies tonight to FINALLY see the sequel to my movie Twilight, bowling tomorrow *where RD is going DOWN* then church Sunday-chill Monday and then Tues-i get my meet the family hairdo!!! i am justifying another trip to get my hair done because i have to use my medicated shampoo!!!!!and if i get a new fancy style along the way-well its a 2 for 1


sighh-sooo today is friday-yippee hip hip hooray!! i think as we get older we look at time differently-sometimes it flies by sometimes not-as a kid with no cares it flew by as a teen it rolled on with slow anticipation and as an adult who works and has responsibilities, one day turns into a week turns into a month and the next thing you know you are staring at Christmas!!!

perfection

so i had this thought last night as i tossed and turned and listened to my neighbors dogs whine and bark like there was NO tomorrow
but when we are young-we have such unrealistic expectations of relationships-we are looking for "perfection" and have all these "what i wont put up withs" and as i have gotten older and mainly in the past few years after a divorce and some soul searching and growing up...i have realized there is NO such thing as a perfect relationship-there are the ones that work well and flow with the individuals differences and then there are those in constant turmoil because instead of accepting the differences they want to change the person..people rarely change-they are who they are! when you meet that guy or gal if you are already calculating the changes you would make-WALK AWAY!!

as i was talking to my BFF-its like now when there is a issue or situation-the first response or thought is not im done or i am going to break up-its almost like now that we are older we expect hiccups to occur and the real measure is just how you deal with them and move on-but that instant i will dump them and find someone else-i think as we grow it diminishes..
that's not to say in certain situations a drastic measure is not necessary or that sometimes it is not ok to walk away
but now when we gripe about something our mate did -we just laugh it off vent and continue on realizing that i have my quirks and ways and clearly so will someone else-but if you look at the bigger picture and the long run and those things are really inconsequential than you roll your eyes stomp your feet and then go hug the person you love and you know loves you!!!