i have so many reasons to be bitter
i have plenty of reasons to be an ANGRY cruel woman
but i'm not
and that's not me
situation has given me SO many opportunities to turn the ship toward choppy waters
and make this mountain a hard grueling climb
and sometimes i wait for the switch to flip
tonight i realized not only is that NOT me but that's not what my spiritual foundation will allow or what it teaches me
am i disappointed-YES
would i like things to be different-UNDOUBTEDLY
but reality is-its NOT
and the reality is i can take the high road
or i can take the easy statistical road and role and play it til the wheels fall off
tonight as i stood in my kitchen with my BEAUTIFUL sweet daughter
and her dad was at Target picking up some items for her and calling us as he tried to pick out the perfect halloween costume
i had an epiphany
by so many standards
by so many opinions
perspectives
and normal thinking thoughts
a dad looks and should be a certain way
a dad has certain obligations
and duties to fulfill
but what i realized is that people love and people exist within their own ambiguous and undefined set of limitations and rules
we are quick to place our perspective and our optic on to others and expect them to do and be as we would like or we would hope or as we ourselves would be
in reality human nature is unpredictable AT BEST
sure most people are creatures of habits
and pass behavior is the best predictor for future behavior
HOWEVER
some people operate within their own set of limits and to the best of their ability
sometimes that does not meet our standard
occasionally and rarely it exceeds our standard
but when it doesnt it is SO easy to go down a path of anger and disappointment
chalked full of HOW COULD THEY or
IF I WERE THEM
or I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW IT IS NOT CLEAR AS A DAY
but the bottom line and the end of the day story
is we are all made uniquely and that includes the good, the bad, and the ugly
so while we can want something for someone and see a clear path for them to take
its not our road to travel
they arent our shoes to wear
and you NEVER EVER EVER know what demons someone is facing
you DO NOT understand the choices one makes
or if they are already operating within parameters that they cannot redefine or escape
this is not a cop out or making excuses for those who fall short of our "expectations"
because once you see a cheetahs spots you know subsequently that they are indeed a cat
BUT its a pick your battles and live your life around that cheetah or exit the jungle
give people grace and forgiveness
that does not mean enable and forget
but some people are truly doing the best they can with the coping mechanisms currently in place
its not your job t o judge or change someone
the best examples in life are not the words or advice you give someone
but its walking the walk
and leading by example
so the next time i "wish" things were different
i will stop
and pause and remember things are the way
they are for a reason
for me to learn
for me to grow
for me to have patience
and so many attributes and strengths that often are fostered out of a difficult situation
