so i want to dedicate today's thoughts and blog to a couple i know pretty well and today they are celebrating 38 years of marriage
38 YEARS-HOLY ISH!!!
That's a long time..its longer than i've been a live
its 3 decades almost 4
38 years is a LONG time-okay i know i already said that but as someone who seemingly hasn't even seen a 5 year let alone 10 years
38 years is FOREVER
are they cut from a different cloth
is it a generational thing
what is it that binds a couple together for 38 years
its not just love, although having some of that helps
is it commitment
is it EQUAL commitment
i think many failed marriages have the commitment but maybe its not equal or maybe its not strong so that when its tested
its crumbles
i think of how amazing it must be to have that much time in with someone
i think about how well you know someone and how im sure it genuinely gets sweeter and sweeter as the years go by
to get through the first 10 years of identifying and defining yourselves as a couple
then another 10 years to get into a groove and enjoy life and one another
then another 10 years to keep doing what you have clearly been doing and doing it well
ive read statistics that say divorce can be a generational thing
but then i look at me
my parents are celebrating 38 years and yet
where am i
not divorced just once but almost twice
why is that
i had a PERFECT example
i saw what it takes
i dont think i lack the commitment
i dont lack the desire and willingness to put in the work
i want til death do us part
i want to be confident in my relationship
i want to have that security that my partner is mine and mine alone and that no matter what obstacle comes along they will STILL be there
i want that spouse that is mindful of me and my sensitivities and fights fair
i want a spouse that disagrees but does not say things to damage or destroy me and our relationship
i want to build something and watch it grow
i have already created an alternate family model for my child
but how can i still give her what my parents gave me
i want to give her stability and positive examples
i dont want my child to replicate my mistakes and failures
i dont want her to see divorce as the norm and an easy out
i want my child to know her gigi and grampy put in decades together and that is the example
that is the model
soooo to mom and dad thank you for showing me how its done
even if i cant seem to get it right
at least i KNOW and have an excellent example of what marriage looks like and i see what the fruits of your labor produce
thank you
thank you
and Happy Anniversary
